


Lavender Kalopsia

by xXx_cherryb0mb_xXx



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: AU Where it's 2002 and Takes Place in the Real World, Anal Sex, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Biting, Blow Jobs, Disassociation, Each Character is From the Country Their Nation was based off of, Emotional Manipulation, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Grooming, I Guess the Zukka content is Sort of a Slow Burn?, I'm new to ao3 so I Don't Know if This Counts as Angst, Internalized Homophobia, Like Literally Zuko Calls Himself the f Slur in the First Chapter, M/M, Multiple Third Person Limited Omniscient Perspectives, Naked Cuddling, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sorry if you Came for Zukka Most of This is Zuko With an Older man, Sugar Daddy, The Zukka Content is Wholesome And Healthy Tho, There's Some Other Headcanons too ig, This Story is LONG AS HELL, This fic is Definitely Dark Though, Underaged Smoking, Zuko is Young and Dumb, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, idk What Town They're in I'll let you Interpret it, oh Also Bending has Been Replaced With Some Funky Martial arts That Involve the Four Elements, so is Iroh, the Gaang is Awesome, underaged drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:47:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 54,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26728417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXx_cherryb0mb_xXx/pseuds/xXx_cherryb0mb_xXx
Summary: Zuko gets invited to a party by Ty Lee and he surprisingly has a good time! Well, that is till he meets a strange person there at a midnight sandy beach...
Relationships: Background Katara/Aang (Avatar), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), implied Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 46
Kudos: 44





	1. Cherry Cola Celebration

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! As you may be able to tell, I'm super new to ao3. In fact, I'm actually new to writing fanfiction! I had always hesitated to write some, but something recently happened to me that inspired me to give it a shot. I went through a lot of the same stuff Zuko goes through as the story goes on. I don't know why but he became my comfort character and helped me deal with the situation. Now, I want to make some disclaimers and tws real quick.
> 
> Disclaimer: A lot of the stuff throughout the story is dark by nature and is VERY unhealthy to go through. This fanfic is in NO WAY trying to glorify things like self-harm and minors sleeping around with older men (I'm a minor myself). It took me a long time to realize that self-harm and validation from somebody over twice your age can't make you happy. 
> 
> TW: The F slur is said near the end of the chapter.

Zuko’s feet dug into the sand. The tiny grains rubbed against his skin in an odd yet strangely comfortable way. The midnight June air made it so easy to just drift off as he looked at the divine waves swishing back and forth. Yup, he was doing it again… Zuko didn’t care though; his mind being in a daydream far away from reality was way more pleasant than where his body was. 

Ty Lee had dressed up rather nicely that sunset. She even had more silly bandz on her thin wrists than normal. Mai and Zuko couldn’t help but question it. _That_ _was that a huge mistake…_ The acrobat went on and on, in one of her typical rambling fits that the two had become so accustomed to. Though Zuko and Mai came to not mind it; it was charming and Mai in particular not only listened but supported Ty Lee and all her special interests. Ty Lee had been chattering about how she was going to a party late at night at the iconic Kummota Beach. 

“Oh. My. Gosh!!!” Ty Lee squealed, flapping her hands as her eyes lit up, “you two should _totally_ go! Trust me, it’ll be super duper fun!”

So with nothing else to do, the two decided to tag along. So there the two were, sitting on a log with no company other than themselves. In typical Ty Lee fashion, she had got distracted with the boys crushing on her. The aftermath of that? Zuko and Mai got left behind. They were pretty much alone. It’s not like either were social butterflies; why would they choose to talk to people they didn’t even know? 

Zuko’s drifting thoughts started to explore the topic of everything that had just happened. The war had just ended; it was his responsibility to bring back honor and grace to Japan. His anger had been worked out, and he had discovered so much about himself in the past year than he had in fifteen years. Not only that, but he was no longer hunting the avatar, master of all four elemental clans. Instead, Aang was his friend, his ally that he would fight beside for the rest of his life…. Zuko felt his thoughts bubble up and pop as a cold hand touched his shoulder.

“Hey…” It was Mai.

Zuko looked over at his best friend. 

“You okay?” She asked, concern prominent in her voice.

Zuko glanced at the radiant ocean dancing in the pale moonlight. “Yeah… it’s just I’ve been thinking about-”

“Let me guess… how much everything has changed and how you can’t believe the avatar is your friend and blah blah blah...”

Zuko blushed as Mai snickered, smiling playfully at the future Shaolin clan’s lord. “It’s gonna be okay Zuko. We’ll get through all this together, and with your… other friends.”

Zuko smiled, appreciating the reassurance.

“Hey, you guys in the black!” A hearty voice called out.

Zuko and Mai turned to look at the source of the voice, almost in unison. It was a muscular frat boy. “Why don’t you come over here!” Even from afar, Zuko could see the boy grin “There’s _booooze!_ ”

Zuko shrugged, walking towards the boy and the group of people he was with. Mai groaned as she dragged along with him.

“For the love of the spirits, Zuko… You’re going to be the lord of the Shaolin clan, and you can’t even say no to some booze?!”

Zuko expected that reaction from Mai. The Japanese girl hated most things, and alcohol wasn’t an exception. Zuko just grinned at her though. “A guy needs to have some fun.” Mai rolled her amber eyes.

They both picked up drinks a kind and drunk bartender was making. Although, Mai had to fight just to get a lemonade from the guy though. It was like lemonade was some weird abstract concept to the bartender. Zuko sat down on a log, his rum and cherry cola in his hand. He couldn’t help but feel dread as he felt the heat from the fireplace that the group had created. Zuko was constantly around fire, that was the whole base of the Shaolin clan. Yet the memory of getting burnt…. That damned memory would always plague Zuko’s mind. He found comfort in Mai being next to him though. Hell, Zuko was even comforted by the drunken rambling of the strangers sitting near him. As time passed, Zuko had relaxed and even chipped in on some of the conversations.

“Holy shit…” Zuko giggled “You’re...you’re *hick* crazy if youuuu think that’ll work!”

The muscular boy that had called the duo over chuckled. “Just ya...you watch bastard goth!” 

The boy took off his tank top and lowcut jeans. The patterns and designs on the front of said jeans touched the soft sand beneath them. Zuko blushed and giggled as he watched the stripped boy run towards the ocean. He tripped and fell straight on his face before he even touched the water. Zuko cackled like it was the funniest shit he ever saw. He looked over at Mai who rolled her eyes. She sipped the fourth Lemonade she had that night.

“These people are so stupid… how are you even enjoying this?”

“Oh lighten up a little Mai!” 

Zuko didn’t exactly know what he was doing. In a matter of fact, he knew that sober Zuko would kick his drunken self’s ass. Zuko felt himself sober up a bit though. In all reality, this was only a little buzz. But a buzz was all Zuko needed to act like a pure and utter dumbass. He just learned to go along with his tipsy whims. 

Mai just shook her head. “You’re hopeless sometimes…”

Zuko looked at Mai as she handed him her lemonade. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom and try to find Ty Lee. Hold my drink and make sure none of these fools gets their hands on it.”

Zuko understood the situation. He simply gave her a mellow nod. Zuko watched as Mai walked away in her flannel and black jeans she seemed to wear all the time. Some time started to pass and Zuko started to disassociate again. Then… Zuko noticed something. He perked up a bit as somebody started to play their boom box. Zuko bopped his head a bit. It was some sort of erotic 80’s song he didn’t recognize. It wasn’t exactly his favorite kind of music, but at least it wasn’t country music. What was at first a stupid party became a somewhat euphoric experience. Zuko loved the buzz he felt as the music played.

Zuko continued to listen to the song, but as the beat dropped he paused. His nose wrinkled as he smelled the strong and unforgettable smell of tobacco. The Japanese teenager looked up. He saw an extremely tall, muscular man standing above him. Zuko tilted his head. 

“Mind if I sit here?” 

Zuko felt shivers go down his spine. The man’s voice was deep and raspy. It would have been attractive if the man wasn’t a complete stranger. Before Zuko could even speak, the man sat down right in Mai’s spot. Zuko’s brow furrowed as he looked the stranger in the eye…. His heart skipped a beat.

The look that man gave was paralyzing. Zuko felt like millions of needles were piercing his skin. The man was menacing and his bodybuilder physique didn’t help. 

“What’s your name?” 

Zuko gulped. It was like there was a giant piece of glass stuck in his throat. The man ran his large fingers through his short, inky hair. He gave Zuko a crooked smile.

“I’m uh… Zuko.” Zuko tried his best to smile but it most likely looked like he was getting sick. Zuko could practically smell his awkwardness.

“Zuko huh? That’s a perfect name for a little cutie~”

Zuko felt his face get hot. He looked into the man’s deep bronze eyes. _Was he serious?_

The man snickered at the sight of a flustered Zuko. “I’m Rensōsa, but you can call me Ren.”

‘Rensōsa’ scooted closer to Zuko. Zuko’s mouth dried up and he giggled, trying to make things less weird. He was slightly- no, VERY uncomfortable. “That’s… That’s cool! My name is- well I guess you already know my name…” His face felt burning hot. 

Ren chuckled, “You’re a funny one, Zuko…” 

Zuko paused. The man felt off yet… Zuko liked it. For three years he had felt unattractive. His face had been ruined by his father, any sort of beauty he once had was surely gone. But there that older man was, going out of his way to talk to Zuko. He had never gotten attention like that before. That man- Ren had given Zuko something that the teenager had craved for a while. 

He looked up at the older man. Zuko tried his best to smile. “T-thanks…. Uh-...I like your shirt!” Zuko wanted to curl up in a ball and explode as he realized... the man was shirtless. _Of course he was shirtless… of fucking course._ Ren raised a brow and smirked, probably noticing Zuko’s embarrassment. It didn’t help that Zuko happened to be looking at Ren’s impressive pecs.

The man laughed, bringing Zuko’s attention back to his face. “How old are you Zuko?”

Zuko looked around and clumsily tried to hide his rum and cherry cola from Ren. “Er uh…. Sixteen…” Zuko sighed, expecting to be told off for drinking. 

Instead, the man seemed almost… happy? Zuko took a second to look at Ren’s face. He was handsome, he looked like some sort of ex-model. Ren seemed to have some sort of Asian heritage like Zuko. Unlike Zuko, he looked like he also had some European heritage. Perhaps he was mixed? It didn’t really matter to Zuko though. Ren also had some stubble; it was like he was sculpted by the spirits. Zuko closed his eyes.

“ _Fuck…. He’s hot…”_ Zuko thought.

He opened his eyes as he heard the man hum. 

“You know… I had my first cigarette when I was about your age…” Ren said, digging in his pocket. His hand moved around a little before he found what he was looking for. He pulled out a box of newports. “Have you ever smoked?”

“Well… once! Or maybe twice….” 

Zuko genuinely liked the feeling that ciggies gave him, but he wasn’t trying to birth an addiction. He considered himself an occasional smoker at worst. 

_Flick!_

The man lit a cigarette and took a puff. He exhaled, making the smoke form the shape of a big O. “That’s perfect…” Ren said in a husky voice. Ren suddenly seemed to dig around for another cigarette. However, it seemed like the muscular man was looking for a specific ciggie. His face seemed to light up as he assumingly found the one he was looking for. He offered it to Zuko. “Do you want it?”

Zuko looked at it. It seemed normal until... _wait…._ **_There was something written on the tipping part_ **.

Under the light of the passionate fire, Zuko saw about…. Ten? Yes, ten small digits written on the tipping part. Zuko went pale before going as red as a cherry. _Ren was giving Zuko his number…._ It was like that metaphorical shard of glass stuck in his throat came back and was even bigger. Ren grinned and put his empty hand on Zuko’s thigh. 

“ _I should stop this… This is bad. Oh my spirits this is bad…_ ” Zuko thought. He was about to scoot away from Ren… but that was when he noticed Ren’s face. 

The older man had on the same grin, but something in his eyes changed. They seemed to threaten Zuko. It was if he dared to make one wrong move, something terrible would happen. Zuko felt his heart race and his thoughts started to go haywire. 

_No...he couldn’t have a panic attack. Not here… not now…_

He looked at the moon as if somehow she could help him. The boy took a moment to think. It seemed impossible to refuse. So maybe… this was just meant to happen? Maybe it was just destiny working its magic.

“ _Fuck it…_ ” Zuko thought. He put his drink down, of course still holding on to Mai’s lemonade. He wasn’t putting it down for that guy. He wouldn’t put it down for anything. Zuko took the cigarette with a trembling hand. He put it in his mouth, sighing.

“Light?” Zuko asked.

“Here…”

The man leaned down to the golden-eyed boy’s level and let the light from his cigarette ignite a fire to Zuko’s. Zuko felt his face get hot as if it was being burned again. “ _Maybe this was meant to be…_ ” He thought.

The man got near Zuko’s ear. He felt a chill go down his spine.

“Call me later tonight…” Ren whispered.

Zuko was shocked. He looked up at Ren to see him wink. “Well, I must get going. It was _such_ a pleasure to meet you, Zuko~”

Zuko watched as Ren walked away into the parking lot. Zuko felt his insides tie in knots. He took a puff of his cigarette before letting himself fall onto the sand. He tried his best to make sure Mai’s lemonade wouldn’t spill, but it was inevitable. He took in everything that had just happened. Zuko’s buzz had pretty much died out and he was left feeling anxious. Yet…he couldn’t help but feel delighted by Ren’s strange ways. He wanted more of that kind of attention. It made him feel… amazing in an indescribably strange way. His self-esteem was a bit of a mess, but that man’s validation… It was actively trying to rebuild parts of his confidence that he thought would be in shambles forever. Curiosity about Rensōsa harassed Zuko’s thoughts and it wouldn’t stop.

He spent several minutes just laying in the sand and smoking his ciggie until the tipping part was the only thing left. He put it in his hoodie pocket. He stared at the noble shining stars. He counted them slowly and soon… he started to hear quiet footsteps.

“Uhhhh, Mai?...” a chipper voice mumbled, “what is Zuko doing?”

Great. Mai was back with Ty Lee. Ty Lee did some fancy gymnastics that Zuko didn’t care to identify over his body and peeped at Zuko with an itching curiosity. 

“Hell if I know…” Mai said, stepping around him.

She reached for her lemonade that Zuko had been lazily holding. She tilted her head. 

“I think some of it is missing…”

“Sorry…” Zuko mumbled, voice somehow more raspy than normal, “I spilled a little.”

Mai rolled her eyes and took a sip.

They didn’t stay long after that. Most people had left at that point anyway. Ty Lee decided she was spending the night with Mai. Mai didn’t mind at all; in fact, she was thrilled. Mai blasted both her and Zuko’s favorite Green Day song, Basket Case on the radio. They also had a trivial conversation about what the best kind of soba was. 

“I swear, tempura soba is the **bestest!** ” Ty Lee cried, “the crunchiness just goes like, perfectly with the soba!”

Zuko shook his head. “Yamakake soba is the most quintessential soba for a reason…”

Ty Lee bounced back, ready to rebuttal, “Just because it’s all ‘perfect’ or whatever doesn’t mean it’s the best! Tempura soba has a very pink aura to it!”

Leave it to Ty Lee to give food personalities...

Mai sighed, looking for the street Zuko lived on. “Does this even matter?” Even from the backseat, Zuko could tell Mai was smiling, “Kake soba is definitely the best though.” 

Mai dropped Zuko off at his apartment before driving to her house. 

Zuko stumbled into the apartment. The sound of his uncle snoring greeted him. Zuko smiled, “Hi Uncle…” he mumbled as he went to his room. He found comfort and relief knowing his uncle was sleeping peacefully. Zuko gently put the tipping part of his cigarette on his windowsill. He put his clothes in the hamper before changing into a t-shirt and some black basketball shorts. He plopped right down on his futon. He wanted to scream until his vocal cords were absolutely destroyed. He sat back for a bit as he thought about everything that had happened at the party.

“Spirits… You’re fucking disgusting.” Zuko mumbled to himself.

“ **Faggot. Faggot. Faggot. Faggot.** ” 

He bashed his head into the wall. He looked at his window. It wasn’t like he could turn back. Besides, maybe the man was just some sort of eccentric freak who just wanted a friend. 

“ _Maybe he’s straight... and you’re just a filthy pervert…_ ” Zuko thought. He sighed and ran his fingers through his messy hair, 

“Why am I like this?”

Zuko got up to grab the cigarette butt. He turned on his lamp and slowly dialed the numbers on his flip phone. He bit his lip as he waited for Ren to pick-up.

“Hello?” A gruff voice chirped. It was eager in as if the person had been waiting for something… or someone.

Zuko felt sweat run down his forehead. He smiled, sitting back on his futon. “ **_Hello, Zuko here._ **”


	2. Tastes Like August

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko goes to a beautiful park to meet with a certain someone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a bit longer to make than the last one, but I think that's okay! Thank you to the people who supported the first chapter, you guys are real MVPs! This chapter doesn't neeps any tws in my opinion, but this whole fic does have some dark content. Anyway, the next chapter will be out soon! Hope you guys enjoy <3

“Zuko…” 

Uncle Iroh gave his nephew a concerned smile. “Are you sure you’ll be okay? You’ve been going out a lot…”

His uncle’s worried look tugged at Zuko’s heart. He didn’t want him to worry. “I’m just hanging out with friends…” he attempted to give a smile, “everything is okay…”

Iroh gave him an understanding nod. Zuko tied up his black and red converse and headed out the door, waving goodbye to his uncle. He was such a kind soul, despite his brutal past. That’s what made him great though; Iroh was a man who saw the corruption in his family and bettered himself from it. Zuko was happy that he had a whole year to live with him before he had to step up as lord. Zuko looked at the sky as he walked. It was particularly sunny outside, even though the daylight was only an hour or two away from its end.

Zuko had been told many times that wearing long sleeves and long pants in all black was a stupid idea. Zuko was aware that it was extremely impractical, but he didn’t care. He loved his style. Besides, it wasn’t like he was going to fight with it on. Zuko put his hands in his pockets, biting his lip.

It had been just about a month and a half since he had gone to that party. Almost two months since he first called  _ him _ … The phone call that night was so euphoric. Ren was much more pleasant on the phone than in real life. Zuko talked to Ren a lot after that night. Whenever that number showed up on his flip phone, his lips curled into a smile. They talked about a lot of things, and Zuko felt like he could just let out all his emotions when they chatted. Last night, Ren had a pleasant surprise for Zuko…

Zuko giggled into the phone. Ren’s jokes….weren’t very good, to say the least. Yet they were endearing.

“Zuko…. Do you remember when we met at the party?”

“Well of course I do… why?” 

Ren snickered on the other line. “It was fun, wasn’t it?”

“ _ It was hella uncomfortable… _ ” Zuko thought.

“Uhhh… I guess, yeah!” Zuko coughed out. He didn’t want to upset his friend by bringing up his strange first impression. 

“Good, good… Why don’t we meet in person again?”

Zuko almost choked. For some reason, meeting the older man in person again had failed to cross his mind. He was happy with Ren just being a person to call on the phone. Yet, the thought of him meeting with Ren poked his interest. That attention… although it was a bit weird at first, maybe it would be different. After all, Ren was no longer a stranger. He was somebody who was his friend; a cool, older friend at that.

“I…” Zuko paused, really thinking about it, “would be happy if we… ya know, uh… met up.”

He thought of that memory, getting a bit nervous as he journeyed to the park. Zuko walked through the street, noticing a good amount of people near him. He took a breath, crossing the street. It wasn’t like he was going to be defenseless if anything went downhill. Sure, he wasn’t dressed to fight but he knew Shaolin pretty well. Hell, he trained the avatar. They were meeting at Yeppeun Park, which wasn’t that far from Zuko or Ren’s houses. Zuko looked up, somewhat confident. 

“ _ It’s gonna be fine… _ ” He thought.

Once he got to the park, it took him a little while to spot Ren. Of course, he remembered how the man looked, but the park was  **huge.** But eventually, after wandering around for a bit, he found Ren sitting under some exotic tree he didn’t care to identify. When Ren saw the boy he eagerly smiled.

“There you are!” The man patted the spot next to him “come, take a seat.”

Zuko did so, smiling at how friendly Ren was being. This time, Zuko wouldn’t make a fool of himself by complementing his nonexistent shirt. The older man was wearing a tuxedo shirt, looking like some sort of 70’s disco dancer. Zuko didn’t question it though; perhaps he was like Zuko and didn’t care about the weather. 

“You know, Zuko…” he looked the boy in the eye, “I don’t exactly know a lot about you.”

“What do you mean? We’ve talked for hours… of course you know me.”

The man put a finger on his chin, “I know your struggles, I know about some of your hobbies, and I know you have friends…” Ren looked at Zuko with his hawk-like eye. It sent shivers down the teenager’s spine. “But I don’t know  **about** your friends and some other important things about you.”

Zuko anxiously laughed; he had never even tried to hide things from Ren. Well, except for his identity as his clan’s future lord. “ _ If he wants to know stuff I might as well tell him… _ ” he thought.

“Well how about we have a uhh… conversation about it!” He attempted to smile at Ren.

“Sounds lovely.” Ren took a pause, “how’s school?”

“Oh! Well… you see I don’t really go anymore.”

Ren raised a brow, “why? Education is important you know.”

“Well… It’s not like I could ever finish school, I have shit I have to do. Besides I went three years just fine without school. So why should I go to school now?”

Ren smirked, “what exactly is this ‘shit’?”

Zuko wanted to cuss. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that… He just wanted to keep his identity under wraps; not only for Ren but for everybody new he met. Yes, he got recognized occasionally, but it was never anything to write home about. Zuko sighed, there was no lying about it. Besides, what was the worst that could happen?

“Well… I’m going to be the lord of the Shaolin clan.” Zuko’s brow furrowed in worry at Ren’s reaction. Looking over at the older man, he just seemed to show the slightest hint of surprise.

“Ohhh, you’re a royal.” He smirked, “that explains a lot…”

Ren suddenly ran his fingers through Zuko’s hair. “You definitely have Ursa’s hair.”

Zuko blushed. His first instinct was to pull away, but he stayed in place. It started to feel like some butterflies were having a party in his stomach. 

“I’ve never been to Japan, but I am apart of the Shaolin clan myself. I was the first one in my family… I was born lucky, born into the Shaolin clan.” He looked at Zuko and smiled, “of course, you were born lucky too. You’re the lord.”

Zuko’s eyes widened and he looked away from the man.  _ Born lucky… _ The phrase rattled in his mind as he pictured his father looking down on him. Zuko flinched and tried to drive the thought away.

“I wasn’t born lucky… I had to work for my title…” Zuko shook his head, trying to erase the thoughts of Ozai and Azula racing through his head.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up, you seem to not like that phrase… but if you’re the lord… does that mean you’re friends with the avatar? Hasn’t the war over there ended?”

Zuko appreciated the small apology; his mind slowly started to erase the thoughts of his biological family and replaced them with the thoughts of his found family.

“Yes… me and Aang are pretty close.”

Zuko pictured the playful monk. Though he was powerful and brought the hundred-year war to an end… he was still a kid. Not only that, but he was a kid from a different time. He had been encaged in ice since 1902, and even if it had been quite a while since the boy had broken out of his frosty prison, he still had a lot to get used to. He was such a nice and gentle soul though, and he was eager to adjust to modern society while still keeping his traditions. 

“I’m friends with his companions too. But well...it wasn’t always like that.” Zuko quietly laughed. It was always so strange to think about how different he was back then. Zuko was glad he wasn’t such a prick anymore. He was happy with his current life.

Zuko and Ren continued to talk. Ren asked Zuko a bunch of questions that the boy tried his best to answer honestly. Ren somewhat answered his own questions as well. When he asked what Zuko’s favorite fast food joint was, the older man would state that his favorite was In-N-Out. Zuko had started to paste together that Ren was… really weird. He always had to have things a certain way. Even right down to the way stuff in his fridge was placed. Like a typical person a part of the Shaolin clan, he was passionate. There was a flame in those mesmerizing brown eyes that refused to be put out. Zuko still couldn’t exactly get a read on what person he was though. There was an air of mystery behind him. Yet he was so hypnotizingly charming. There was something about that man… that just lured people in. Well, he lured Zuko in at least. Ren pulled out a cigarette, lighting it up. 

“You’re a hell of a teenager…”

Zuko blushed “uhhh… thanks I guess!” 

“Oh, I mean it… Getting to know you this evening has been wonderful.”

Zuko looked up at his older friend. Ren smiled at him, “I mean, you and your little friends ended a damn war!”

“ _ He’s… praising me… _ ” Zuko thought. Sure, his friends and uncle validated him and made him feel loved. But Ren was a man who had been giving him attention since they met. The interest Ren had for Zuko felt even better than at the party. The compliments had more meaning.

“And you know…” Ren smirked, pointing to Zuko’s shirt “You got some interesting fashion too.”

Zuko sheepishly smiled at him. He knew his face had to be flushed as hell, but he couldn’t care less. Ren had become a source of comfort.

“Your uncle sounds like a great man too.”

Zuko perked up, “Oh you have no idea! He’s been there for me through everything. He’s wise and kind, and smart, and badass, and-”

Ren laughed, bringing Zuko back to the conversation before he started to talk about Iroh for hours. Zuko awkwardly giggled.

“I know a lot about you now…” Ren glared at the onyx haired teenager. Zuko didn’t want to assume anything bad, but it felt strangely hair-raising. “But there’s something I still don’t know.” Ren put out his cigarette, which he had only gotten a few puffs from.

Zuko raised a brow, “what the hell could that be??” His mind recollected all the things they had talked about. 

He had talked about almost everything there was to know about someone. Right down to Zuko’s blood type and even his favorite slushie flavor. Surely there was no more reasonable thing to converse about. Zuko wished he could read minds… He was begging to know just what that man was possibly thinking about. 

Ren grinned, giving Zuko a look that was just…  **wow** . Zuko’s heart was pounding, wanting to keep looking at Ren till the end of time, while his brain was telling him he should get out of there. It was confusing, to say the least.

“Well Zuko, I’ve noticed you’re around quite a selection of women. Have you made any of them your girl?”

Zuko cringed in shock. “What!? No…”

“Aren’t you and Mai close friends…?”

“She’s my best friend! I would put my life on the line for her but, I can’t imagine kissing her or anything….” Zuko shook his head.

“What about Katara? I’ve heard she’s rather pretty, yes?”

“She’s dating Aang. Even if she wasn’t I wouldn’t date her. She’s just kinda… too preppy.” Zuko made some odd motion with his hand. Even if she wasn’t preppy Zuko wouldn’t date her. He just never imagined himself with a girl.

“What about Toph?”

Zuko recoiled at the thought. “Dude she’s like twelve…  **Hell no** .”

“Sooo… Ty Lee then?”

Zuko was genuinely getting aggravated. “No! Listen, man, I don’t have a damn girlfriend!!” He didn’t even realize it but he balled his fists.

Zuko sighed and apologized. “ _ He’s just curious… _ ” he thought. Ren wasn’t even upset though. In fact, his expression hadn’t changed since he started asking. 

“I thought you wouldn’t have one...” Ren said, looking at the younger boy.

Zuko looked away. “Are you… making fun of me?...” his heart ached at the thought. 

“No no, not at all!!”

Chills went down Zuko’s spine at the genuineness in Ren’s voice. He turned around to see Ren’s eyebrows furrowed. He obviously wasn’t happy about the thought of Zuko thinking that Ren was being rude or hurtful. 

“There’s plenty of ladies that would love to date you.” Ren’s large hand lifted Zuko’s chin. They were looking at each other, eye to eye. “You’re  _ very _ cute. I see the royal family’s got good genes…”

Zuko blushed, instinctively pulling away from his friend. Though, he couldn’t help but love every word Ren was saying. “I’m cute? Like… actually?” Zuko said, unaware he was thinking out loud.

“You’re absolutely stunning…”

Those words went right to Zuko’s heart. 

“But that’s why I want to know something…”

Ren scooted closer to Zuko. Zuko couldn’t take his eyes off him. He couldn’t move away; he was just stuck, captivated by everything Ren was doing.

“Zuko…” The man smirked, leaning closer to the boy, “are you gay?...”

Zuko almost snapped right there. He restrained himself from pushing Ren away and scrambling out of his seat. His thoughts were racing as his face went somehow even paler. He bit his lip.

“ _ No. You’re disgusting. You can’t tell him. You’re just sick! _ ” He thought. 

“Ummmm well…” the boy stuttered.

Zuko tried to say no, even though it was a total and utter lie. It was like his lips had been frozen. He couldn’t talk. 

“ **_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…_ ** ” Zuko thought. He tried to give any sign that he was “straight”. But his body wouldn’t move. 

Ren looked at him and playfully smiled. “Well, are you? You like men like me, don’t you?”

“ _ Yes… but I shouldn’t. This isn’t right. _ ” Zuko thought. He flinched. In his mind, he was filthy for it; he was a perverted gay. How was he supposed to tell Ren that? “ _ You can’t tell him you’re fucking gay. He’ll hate you.  _ **_He’ll. Hate. You_ ** _. _ ” Zuko didn’t even notice he was hyperventilating. 

Ren caressed his cheek. “Poor baby, you’re speechless. You hate yourself for it, don’t you?”

“Yes.  _ YES! _ This…  **I am wrong** . Fucking wrong.  **_A disgrace!_ ** ” Zuko cried between pants. 

It had been ingrained into Zuko’s head since he was a child that a man being with another man wasn’t right. His father… Ozai had threatened both him and even Azula multiple times. He told them all the things that would happen if they ever even thought about someone of the same gender in a romantic way. It wouldn’t end well. Even with Ozai behind bars, wouldn’t people still judge him for it? Wouldn’t he be mocked and ridiculed for the rest of his life? He was a malfunction in the apparent natural order of things. 

“Well whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong, baby.” 

Zuko’s face got hot. Ren smiled.

“It’s okay. I know that Japan isn’t exactly super accepting of  _ us _ , but here it’s okay.  **I** won’t ever judge you… so tell me, are you… gay?”

Zuko felt tears roll up in his eyes. Zuko had never met anybody who not only openly accepted Zuko and what he was but related to what he was going through. Ren grew up in a way older time, he had to understand it. Zuko genuinely felt… happy. He saw Ren as an awesome man who understood him better than anybody; besides uncle of course. He felt his face get hot as he just couldn’t help but admire Ren.

“ **Yes…** ” Zuko said, as wry as he could possibly be. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of him. 

Then, something in Zuko’s mind clicked. “Wait… if you think I’m cute does that mea-”

Ren cut him off, grabbing Zuko’s slim waist.

“Hey!! What the fuck are you-”

Ren pulled Zuko closer to him. Zuko’s face was hot; from an outside perspective, it would’ve looked like Zuko was straddling the older man. Ren embraced Zuko into a warm and rough kiss. Zuko was in shock. He had no idea what to do… but he wanted to believe Ren knew what he was doing.

“ _ This is destiny….I guess… _ ” Zuko thought, attempting to kiss back. If this was the reason they had met at that party, then so be it.

Kissing Ren was such an amazing feeling for Zuko, despite the initial shock of it. Zuko was sure Ren had experience; his plumps lips gracefully moved through their makeout. It was passionate and spicy. Somehow, it had a strange nostalgic taste to it. He tasted...like August. The mellow, cozy summer bummer month. Even the tobacco on his breath reminded the boy of August. 

Zuko’s heart was beating like a drum. It felt like his heart could burst out of his chest at any moment. Ren’s grip on Zuko’s waist tightened as he grabbed a fist full of the teenager’s hair with his unoccupied hand. He tugged it; Drawing a small yelp out of Zuko as he wrapped his arms around Ren’s shoulders. The way the kisses made him and even his panting between the kisses as they got messier made Zuko go absolutely crazy. He felt warm and safe. The naughty kiss was making the boy high. He almost felt like somebody had struck him with a love arrow. He loved the attention, at that moment, he thought he loved Ren. Zuko felt the older man’s hips buck, attempting to possibly grind on Zuko. 

This made Zuko realize just what exactly they were doing. 

“ _ Shit!” _ Zuko thought, starting to slightly panic. What was he thinking? He was making out with a man over twice his age in public! “ _ It feels… so good… _ ” Zuko thought, about to get back into the flow of the kiss.

“ _ But this has to stop. _ ”

Zuko pulled away from Ren’s kiss, panting like he hadn’t had a breath of oxygen in days. Sweat dripped down his forehead as he stared at the older man. Ren was also panting, but not as hard. He smiled, cupping Zuko’s cheek.

“Isn’t this...wrong? I mean I’m sixteen and you’re-”

“Does it feel wrong? Didn’t you like it?”

“Well… Yeah but-”

“Then how can it be wrong? If you ask me, it was completely right. Besides, I can tell you’re mature for your age… you might as well be twenty years old!”

Ren smiled smugly, “if you can end a war and almost be ready to run a whole country, you can handle a man…”

Zuko nodded, hoping Ren was right. He was older, surely he knew what he was talking about. “ _ I can trust him… _ ” Zuko thought.

“So uhhh…” Zuko looked around, trying to find his words. He had placed himself back to where he had been sitting most of the time. He was right beside the older man. “Does this mean we’re… dating?”

Ren put an arm around Zuko’s shoulder. “Oh, I’ve had my eye out for you ever since I saw you, cutie. I would love to date you.”

Zuko smiled, getting addicted to all the approval Ren gave him. “I… I think I would like it too…”


	3. Sour Cherry, Raspberry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gaang hangs out in one of their favorite spots: a Speedway near a forest. Everything's all refreshing, but Sokka is a bit worried about one of his friends...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aghhhhh I can't believe this is my longest chapter right now haha. Seriously, I had a lot of fun making this! No tws for this, it's mostly innocent fun. Also thanks for all the support!

Aang looked at the drinks available in the convenience store. There the five friends were; bumming out at the Speedway trying to figure out what they all wanted. It wasn’t unusual for them to hang out at the little gas station, they did it all the time. They even hung out at the tiny woods right next to the gas station sometimes. Katara had already picked out some bizarre sparkling water, but the rest were scattered around the store…

“Sokka!” Toph yelled.

The indigenous boy looked over at his friend.

“Get me a Mountain Dew. Now!” 

Zuko looked over at the blind girl. She was pointing at a little fridge. The small gas station fridge… didn’t have any Mountain Dew in it -the fridge that did have all the soda was about three to her left- but she got her point across.

“Sure…” Sokka smiled, walking towards her.

Zuko looked around the store. They were regular customers of the small Speedway. Something about it’s cozy, laid back vibe made the friend group happy. It was homey, to say the least. Zuko wandered around a bit. Aang was still contemplating what to get.

“You okay?” Zuko asked, peering over the boy’s shoulder.

“There’s just so many options….” Aang mumbled.

“I mean, I could get Ginger Ale but it’s just kinda… bleh. And Coca Cola just doesn’t taste how it used to…”

“Didn’t they used to put cocaine in-”

“But the monks just drank “smoothie” thingies. But like do I want to go back to my origins?”

Aang glanced around the store. “Wait… they don’t even have smoothies in this store? That’s bunk!”

“Dude if you’re really that conflicted about some fruit juice just get some naked…”

Aang tilted his head, “I’m sorry-some what?!”

Zuko walked over to a tiny fridge. He pulled out some of the juice.

“Ya know it’s this thing… If you want something sweet but you want something fruity just get this.” 

Aang read the bottle’s ingredients. His eyes lit up and he gave the teenager a crooked smile.

“Neat! Thanks, Zuko.”

“Eh, don’t mention it.” 

Aang gave a wide grin, placing the naked bottle on his bald head. “Look, I can even balance it on my head!”

Zuko looked down, smiling at the enduring boy. The bottle fell after a few seconds, going from Aang’s arrow right to the floor.

“Whoops…”

The two heard a feminine laugh. Katara walked towards the boys. She picked up the bottle, handing it to Aang.

“I hope you don’t try to balance Momo on your head next!”

Katara waited for Aang to laugh. Instead, he just fidgeted with his thumbs and blushed at her. They had only really started dating a month ago. They were still all lovey-dovey. It almost reminded Zuko of his relationship with Ren, he hung his head down as he thought about the older man. Katara and Aang’s giggling brought him back to reality though. He looked over at the slushie machine. A raspberry slushie sounded...good. He walked over to the small machine, drifting off. His mind started to have a hard time being there; how could he focus? Ren burrowed a place in Zuko’s mind and wouldn’t get out. 

He walked, and walked until…. He snapped back to reality! Zuko had bumped into Sokka while drifting off.

“Oh! Um, sorry, buddy!” 

Sokka shrugged, checking his shoes to make sure they weren’t dirty. Zuko wanted to puke looking at Sokka’s bright blue crocs. There were so many shoes to wear. There were so many shoes that would compliment Sokka’s fashion, yet he chose to always wear crocs…

Sokka suddenly lit up, looking at the Japanese teenager. “Oh! You’re getting a slushie too?”

“Oh! Yeah… they’re pretty good.”

“I know, right?! Cherry slushies are just like, groovy.”

“Eh, they’re kinda gross. Blue raspberry is way better, dude.” 

Sokka crossed his arms, “no way! You’re delusional if you think raspberry is an actual good flavor.”

Zuko furrowed his brow, getting a cup. He pushed the raspberry flavor. “The cherry flavor is just too obnoxious. It’s so overrated.”

Sokka threw his arms up, “how do you **_not_ ** like the red cherry flavor?! You _literally_ grew up surrounded by fire!”

The dark-skinned boy then proceeded to pour the red slush into his cup.

“How the **_hell_ ** do you not like the raspberry flavor? You were born in like an igloo!”

Sokka rolled his eyes, “ah yes, because igloos are neon blue.”

“You’re sitting there acting like fire is bright red!” 

“Well, your armor is _red_!”

“Yeah?” Zuko said, looking right at Sokka’s shoes, “well your stupid crocs are _blue_!”

Sokka gasped. He seemed genuinely offended. Yet there was a glint of playfulness in his cornflower-blue eyes. He snatched Zuko’s cup and poured some of the cherry slush into it.

“Oh, now you’re asking for it, bastard!”

Zuko stole Sokka’s cup and let the blue slush pour in his cup. 

Then, they both stumbled a bit as Zuko felt a pain in his side. 

“Will you two little girls stop fighting?! We’re all waiting for you!” a small yet tough voice yelled. It was Toph, who probably had her signature “I’m done with this bullshit” look on her face.

Zuko looked at Sokka, who had the same sorry look he probably had. 

“Sorry…” They said in unison.

The two ended up sticking with their mixed slushies. They didn’t want to make their friends wait even longer for them. Sokka paid at the register, talking some pointless small talk with the angsty looking cashier. _Apparently_ , they were friends; well, in Sokka’s mind they were. Toph yanked Sokka away before he could continue talking though. 

They sat outside, sipping on their drinks. Zuko was sitting on the outdoor freezer with all the ice. He looked down at Sokka, who bounced up. 

“Hey! This is actually pretty good!”

Sokka got up and hopped next to Zuko on the freezer.

“I think that both of them together is maybe even a bit better than the cherry flavor!”

Zuko just nodded. He looked at the streets below them. All the cars passing by… for some odd reason, it made him think of Ren. Zuko didn’t understand; he felt happy when he was around the older man! So why does it feel so wrong… why did Zuko feel like he was hiding such a dirty secret??

….

  
  


Sokka looked at the dark-haired boy. He just suddenly seemed to drift off. It was like he had gone to the spirit world. Sokka wondered just what made him suddenly… shut down? No- it seemed like he was just zoning out or… disassociating? His black nails almost looked like they were attempting to claw into the metal under them. He hadn’t even taken a sip of his slushie.

“Hey…” Sokka nudged Zuko’s shoulder.

He suddenly looked at Sokka. 

“You okay?”

“Yes…”

Sokka held his drink up to Zuko’s face. “You gotta try this! Come on, take a sip of yours!”

Zuko did as he was told with a blank face. Just a moment ago he was seemingly happy… well, as happy as Zuko could be. 

“It’s okay I guess.”

Sokka frowned. Seeing any of his friends so dazed was just… awful. Sokka took a moment to think about the last month or so. Zuko hung out with him and the others quite often, but lately, something just seemed off. Suddenly he couldn’t hang out with any of his friends on the weekend. Not even Mai! It’s not like Zuko had a job; he hadn’t worked at a tea shop since he was in Hong Kong. This left Sokka wondering just what was going on… what could’ve been occupying so much of his time? 

Sokka shook the thought off. He smirked, deciding how to get Zuko back to reality. 

“Sneak attack!” Sokka yelled, tickling Zuko. Zuko tried to swat him away. 

“What the hell?” He couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ha! I knew it! Zukoooo’s ticklish!”

Aang laughed, “I think Momo’s ticklish too!”

Katara tilted her head, “Really? What makes you think that?”

“Well, once I tickled his nose with a feather and he freaked out.”

Sokka frowned, “maybe he just still has a grudge against Hawky…”

“Who?” Toph asked, picking in her ear.

“The messenger bird! I can’t believe you don’t even remember the bird you bought me…” Sokka frowned, looking at the ground. 

Zuko snickered, “You’re so ridiculous…”

He smiled. Sokka’s spirit felt a lot lighter; he had made Zuko happy again.

“Look bird brain, I have lots of shit to remember!” Toph snarked

Katara gasped, “Toph! What have we talked about? Don’t say such inappropriate words!” 

Aang crossed his arms. “Yeah Toph, not cool!”

“Well Zuko said it’s okay and he’s older than both of you!” Toph tried her best to point at the teenager, but she was a bit off.

“I’m technically ninety-six years older than-”

“Oh shut up!” Toph leaned back on the freezer, “But anyway, yeah, I have better stuff to remember than some stupid bird.”  
  


“Oh, what’s all this important information you have to remember then?” Sokka asked, hopping down from the freezer.

Toph shrugged, “I dunno, maybe the next rock I’m gonna throw at your face.”

“Well, I’ll throw it right back at yours!” Sokka smirked.

Toph burst out laughing, “You? Please! You might be able to throw a boomerang but I doubt you’d be able to heave a rock like I do!” 

“Watch me!”

And that was the start of the rock-throwing competition. Toph got up and wandered into the nearby forest. The others just sat there silently, pondering what the tough black-haired girl was going to do. She suddenly came back with a slanted grin. She dropped five rocks right next to her feet, which were even dirtier than normal.

Sokka looked at the rocks in aw. They were… way too identical to be natural. Toph must’ve chipped away at the imperfections. It wasn’t impossible for the twelve-year-old martial arts master. Sokka looked at his friends in envy. Of course, he had advantages they didn’t, but he still wished he could be martial arts masters within a clan. They were spiritually connected to the elements...how cool was that? But there he was, born as just an ordinary dude. Sokka grinned; even without some fancy rock martial arts, he was gonna do well.

“Let’s throw some rocks!” Toph yelled, picking up a rock. It looked too big to even fit in her hands. Yet Toph held it in one hand and tossed it with all of her might. 

It went… unbelievably far. Sokka lost sight of it.

After a few seconds, Toph snorted, “Aaaand it landed! It went... let’s see….” Toph counted on her fingers “about two-hundred-seventy-ish meters?”

“Holy fuck-” Zuko choked.

Sokka’s jaw dropped. He was trying his very best to think of a solution that would make the rock go even half of that distance.

“Your turn, Katara.”

Katara’s eyes widened. 

Toph smiled “Why are you so nervous? We’re just throwing rocks around for fun!”

“Well-”

“I get it, you’re little thing is with water. Yeah yeah…” Toph kicked the rock towards Katara, “just throw the damn rock.”

Katara blushed and turned her head, “look, just don’t expect me to do good!”

She threw the rock with two hands. She aimed it a bit too low though. It ricocheted off of the solid concrete a few times before stopping near the end of the Speedway parking lot.

“Actually… that wasn’t as bad as I thought!” Toph patted Katara on the back.

“That was awesome, Katara!” Aang cheered. He had such a wide smile on his face, and his eyes showed just how much he loved Katara.

Katara blushed. She sat down next to Aang, giving him an innocent peck on the cheek.

“Oh twinkle toesss~”

Aang looked up at the blind girl. He grunted as she dropped the rock in his lap. 

“Your turn. Show me what you’re made of!”

Aang hopped up, smiling. He seemed to be calculating where his arm would be when he threw it. That small gesture gave Sokka a huge idea…

The monk heaved the rock. It went fairly far, reaching halfway through the streets. A car honked in shock at the sudden rock that had gotten so close to it.

Aang gulped, “what does it mean when those vehicles honk again? Did I do something wrong?!”

“Eh, you’re fine. They’ll get over it.” Toph put a finger on her chin. “But you threw it pretty far! You’ve come a long way. Ya’ know you used to be a real baby about training.”

“Now, Sokka. You better not throw like a girl!” Toph yelled.

Sokka stood up confidently. He crossed his arms. “Oh, I’m not just gonna throw a stupid rock! I came up with a super special technique that’s gonna sweep you off your feet!”

“It better not!...” Toph mumbled under her breath.

…

  
  


Zuko looked at the teenager. He planted his crocs on the ground, but he wasn’t really at the best angle to throw a rock. It seemed like it would just bump into a lamppost. And well… that’s exactly what happened. He chucked the rock right into the lamppost, and it proceeded to bounce off of a blue car, leaving a dent. After that, it tumbled onto the concrete. The rock hadn’t gone very far. Zuko wanted to laugh his ass off, but something about Sokka’s face… it radiated confidence in his strange plan. Zuko almost felt bad for him…

Toph fell to the floor cackling. “What the hell was that?! I knew you wouldn’t be as good as me but **that?!** That was pathetic!!”

Sokka frowned, goofily walking back to the freezer. 

“Aaand Zuko! Get over here!”

Zuko shrugged, hopping off of the freezer.

“You’re kinda my biggest competition. Although I don’t expect some angsty fire guy to outdo me! But hit me with your best shot!”

Zuko cocked his neck. He planted his feet to the ground, grabbing the rock with one hand. He took a breath in, getting prepared to throw…..

He dropped the rock on the ground, not even a meter away from his feet.

Toph laughed, confused “was that an accident? You’re gonna throw it, right…?”

“That was my throw.”

“What?!” Toph screamed. She pointed at Zuko, “you’re not just gonna half-ass me like that! Throw the rock!!”

Zuko tilted his head, “ya know… I asked the rock. He said he didn’t want to be thrown.”

Toph’s hand slapped her face. She had facepalmed pretty hard. “Well, as I expected, I won… but it was a breeze thanks to mister Lazy Ass over here!”

Aang clapped for her. Toph shrugged, sitting back down. She grabbed her soda and took a drink before crushing the bottle with her hands. 

Zuko looked over at Sokka, who still seemed down about his peculiar throw.

“I like how you threw it…” Zuko mumbled, patting Sokka’s back.

Sokka suddenly held his head high with a confident grin on his face. “Yeah… Yeah! And if it was a boomerang throwing competition I would’ve won by a **landslide**!”

Zuko smiled, “Uhhh… pun intended?”

Sokka blushed, “Well um... Yes!”

“He’s lying to you Zuko.” Toph chimed in.

“I hate you sometimes…” Sokka mumbled.

“ **Hey!** ” A deep voice called out.

Zuko turned his head. There was an extremely muscular bald man. He was almost completely covered in tattoos and had a thick beard. Zuko thought he looked like Aang about twenty years from now if he had developed a strong addiction to steroids and molly.

“Which one of you heathens wrecked up my car?!” The man asked, his voice booming.

He pointed at the blue car Sokka had dented. Zuko looked at his friend. Sokka’s face was drenched in sweat as he tried his damn best to not make eye contact with the man. And Zuko respected that.

Toph pointed up at the sky, “A car… Now, I’m blind but I think that would be Sokka over here.”

The man walked over to the freezer. His eyes shifted between Zuko and Sokka. He didn’t exactly know who Sokka was, and it wasn’t like Toph could give him any clues.

The man pointed a calloused finger at the native American boy. “You! You look like a Sokka! Did you do that?”

Sokka looked around anxiously. “Uhhh… Sorry, I don’t speak English!” 

The man raised a curious brow, “but… ya’ just did. And I don’t hear no accent in that voice!”

Sokka nervously laughed. “Well you see, those are the only words I know-”

Zuko cringed. Sokka was such a brilliant soul. He had invented things that hadn’t ever even been dreamed about before… but he was just… not very bright sometimes.

Sokka giggled, eyes wide as they could be. “Oh no…” he mumbled, smiling and nudging at the man. The guy’s face was as red as the cherry flavored slushie at Speedway.

“Why you little-”

Sokka hopped off the freezer. 

“Eep… guys I-I gotta go!” 

Zuko watched as he bolted out of there, the angry guy following not far behind.

“See you at home Katara!!” Sokka screamed.

…

  
  


“‘Night, Gran-Gran!” Sokka shouted, walking into his room. 

“Oh! And goodnight grand _Pakku_!” 

Pakku groaned as Sokka laughed, proud of his amazing wit. His heart was still pounding from when he ran away from that guy at Speedway a few hours ago. He smiled, thinking about his trusty crocs. They were surprisingly amazing to run in. Sokka put his hair down from its wolf tail. He shook his head a bit before ruffling his hair out. He laid in his bed, reflecting on the day. He remembered the happy faces of Katara and Aang. He even remembered the mischievous grin Toph probably had on her face as she told that guy who dented his car. But then he remembered Zuko’s face as he was zoning out. His eyes were… so sad and confused. Sokka shrugged it off.

“ _It’s Zuko… he’s sad all the time! Everything’s okay_.”

Sokka smiled, closing his eyes. After a few minutes of hearing nothing but his fan at work, he started to drift into the comfort of sleep. His thoughts became jumbled together, making sentences he didn’t exactly understand. He embraced the warmth of his thick blanket that kept him warm even through the coldest nights in Alaska. He started to imagine a beautiful field of blue flowers… then…

_Thump!_

Sokka’s blood went cold. All of his sleepy thoughts died immediately. 

“Oh no…” Sokka mumbled, falling out of his bed.

“The bald guy! He’s back and he… wants revenge!” Sokka stuttered. He fidgeted with his fingers “He’s gonna come and call Gran-Gran a whore, kick Katara in the shins, and piss in dad’s favorite mug!!”

Sokka cracked his knuckles. He was gonna stop the man from doing any of that. Sokka’s hand moved around in the dark. He felt a cold, weird shape… his boomerang! He clenched it and looked out of the window where the noise came from. All of his tension instantly turned into confusion. 

It wasn’t the man from the Speedway. The figure outside his window was… small. They had big hair and seemed like a little child, surely no older than thirteen. Just the silhouette of this kid looked defenseless and unthreatening. Sokka squinted, suddenly realizing something. Looking at the person’s feet… he registered that they were barefoot. Sokka jumped up in sudden realization, opening his window. 

“Toph?”

The tiny Korean girl jumped for joy. “Yes! I knew I was in the right place!”

Sokka shook his head. “Why in the world are you here?! I mean- **how** did you even get here?!” He made sure to whisperer. They lived in a one-story house with paper-thin walls, and he didn’t want to wake Katara up.

“None of that is important. Listen up, captain boomerang! I need your help…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry for leaving you guys on a cliffhanger...or am I? Anyways, I would appreciate it if you supported this fic! It's nowhere near finished so please bookmark it if you're interested in keeping up with it! Also in this au Sokka is still a badass who took down army ships but is still scared of a random guy from Speedway.


	4. Scandals at a Moonstone Mall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toph has learned some... weird information and needs Sokka's help to make sure her friend doesn't get hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow god damn I don't know if I hated working on this or loved it. A story taking place in 2002 has been such a fun little concept to play around with though. No tws, but like Zuko's "friend" is just being weird again but like what's new luv.

Sokka sat outside, thanking his lucky stars that it wasn’t wintertime. Sure, he could handle a lot of cold, but he would much rather prefer sitting in shorts in the summer air than in the chilly winter. Toph probably couldn’t care less; it seemed like she just wore sweats and some 90’s t-shirt whenever she felt like it. She sat across from Sokka, head facing the ground.

“So…” Sokka said, using his hand as a headrest, “what made you hitchhike all the way to my house?”

“Well, I’m no storyteller, but this is different.” She took a breathe in, “Look, Zuko’s a pretty honest guy. And he’s a terrible liar. When we hung out earlier today… he kept lying. Everything about him was off… even his heartbeat! So…”

Sokka leaned towards his friend. Having his worries be validated was such a suspenseful feeling... He was correct, there was something off about Zuko. “So?”

Toph laughed, “Well I… kinda sorta eavesdropped on him when he got home…”

Sokka rolled his eyes, “Spirits, Toph, you _really_ have a good understanding of privacy.” 

Toph punched Sokka in the shoulder. “Look, jackass! You would do the same if you could feel just how weird he was being!” Toph sighed, “Besides, I learned some stuff that isn’t just normal Zuko things.”

Sokka couldn’t help but perk up. He knew something was wrong and Toph had the answer. He wanted to- no… he **had** to know. 

“Hold up! What’s going on with Zuko?!”

Toph smirked, “why would I tell you? I **do** have an amazing understanding of privacy, after all.”

Sokka shook his head. “Haha, how funny. Look, come on, Toph! You came here for a reason, right?”

Toph smiled, “of course I did, I just wanted to fuck around with you a bit.”

Toph put a finger in her ear. “Almost as soon as he came home, I believe he got on the phone with somebody. Now, I couldn’t hear everything, but he’s gonna meet up with somebody. And judging by the way he was talking, it wasn’t somebody like Mai or Aang…”

“Who could it be? Iroh?”

“No dipshit, Iroh was in the other room drinking tea. I don’t know who it was, but the vibrations from the phone makes me believe it was somebody with a deep voice. Like, a full-grown man.” Toph smiled, “or maybe just an extremely manly sounding girl. I mean, maybe Zuko’s into that.”

“Maybe he’s taking more Shaolin lessons?”

“Oh I don’t think so. He’s meeting the other person at a mall.”

Sokka’s brow furrowed, “Oh…”

Toph put a hand on Sokka’s shoulder. “Look, I’m sensing something fishy going on. And like, Zuko’s a dumbass but I don’t want him getting hurt.”

Toph crossed her arms, continuing with what she was saying. “He said he would meet up with this person at 1:15 PM at the nearest mall. I’m going to see just what he’s getting himself into, but I need a pair of actual eyes... You care about Zuko, right?”

“Well, of course I do, I care about all of you. But why me? Why not Aang or Katara?”

“I don’t really know. I just feel like you bond the most with him. And I don’t think the lovebirds would understand this…” Toph remarked, clearing her throat, “So, are you in?”

“Yeah…” Sokka said, smiling at her, even though she couldn’t see it. “Totally!”

Soon after, Toph made her way back home. Sokka didn’t know how she was so good at finding people’s houses, but it was Toph. She could basically do anything… well, except see out of her eyes. 

Sokka went to sleep shortly after. He woke up at 8:06 AM, the time he woke up every day. He spent about ten minutes or so playing on his GameBoy. Then, he put his hair up and opened his bedroom door. He smelled the nostalgic aroma of Ajiaco. Of course, Gran-Gran and Katara couldn’t make it as they did back in their tribe; but it was still tasty. He saw his father, watching some weird soap opera he liked. He always said that it reminded him of mom… but Sokka never liked to think about it too hard. Pakku was probably still sleeping or listening to his favorite traditional songs. Sokka didn’t really care though. 

Soon, they ate breakfast. Gran-Gran had called Pakku to eat. He came to the table without hesitation. Only Gran-Gran could drag Pakku out of his room... Breakfasts used to be so sad and empty, but now that the family was back together (with a new addition to it) it was more lively than ever. Sokka loved living in the small town with all of his friends. It was their year to relax and embrace life without war before going on to do things that would make the world even better. Sokka had big plans, much like the rest of his friends. With the help of Pakku and the chief of his sister tribe, he would be the one to rebuild the southern tribe. Sokka imagined it all perfectly; there would be so much grand architecture, so many amazing meat markets. It would be absolutely full of T’ai chi masters just like Katara. It would be just like the northern tribe… that’s how he wanted it. And Sokka wanted to think that it’s how Yue would’ve wanted it too.

For the next few hours after that, Sokka didn’t do much. But when the clock struck 11:45, Sokka was ready to go. Toph and Sokka had made the plan to meet at the Beifong family’s condo (where Toph was staying) first, and travel to the mall together. Sokka thought that it was a bit too early for him to be going, but Toph didn’t like it when people were late. She had specifically instructed him to come at that exact time. Sokka slipped on his crocs and headed out the door.

“Where exactly are _you_ going?” Katara asked, leaning against the door.

“Sword training lessons!”

Katara tilted her head, “oh really? I didn’t know you still took them. Piandao’s all the way in Japan though… how are you gonna learn?”

“Oh uh- Zuko’s agreed to teach me! Ya’ know, we **both** learned from Piandao! And you remember when he… kinda sorta _really_ kicked my butt in all those sword fights… he’ll make a great teacher!”

“Okay… have fun.”

Sokka sighed in relief inside of his mind. He walked farther out the door.

“ **Wait!!** ” Katara suddenly barked.

Sokka gulped, turning around. He was… pleasantly surprised when he saw her smiling, holding a bottle of water.

“You’ll get thirsty. Take this!”

Sokka smiled, grabbing his sister’s bottle and walking away to the bus station. He put the water bottle in his bag and walked up to the condo. Sokka wondered just why the Beifong family had their own private living space in a small town like this one out of all places…. But he supposed there was no reason to think about it for too long. He knocked on the door.

“Hey! This is Sokka, friend of Toph Beifong!”

“Come in!!” A young voice yelled. Of course, it was Toph herself. Sokka walked into the sight of a maid putting the last few touches of makeup on the blind girl’s face. She looked **way** different than usual. She wore a long traditional Korean gown, mostly made up of green and beige patterns. Instead of her usual jet black hair, she put up, this time, she had a wig on. It was a light auburn color; just a little bit below her shoulders. She looked like some sort of royalty. For once, she looked like the daughter of the richest family in Asia.

“Woah... what made you wanna get all… fancy?”

“I don’t _wanna_ be like this.” Toph mumbled, “it’s a _disguise_. Look, I don’t know how you look but I’m gonna assume that Zuko’s gonna recognize both you _and_ me if we go in that mall looking like ourselves.”

The maid then took out two colored contacts and put them into Toph’s eyes, masking her blindness. Her eyes were now a deep, mesmerizing brown.

Toph pointed at Sokka, “hey, go doll that idiot up too.”

“What?!”

And like that, the maid sat Sokka down on the couch and gave him a makeover he would expect out of a professional.

“So... “ Sokka said as his nails were being painted pastel pink. “How’d you get your parents to let you stay here?”

Toph’s brow furrowed in frustration. “That’s none of your damn business!”

“She and her parents are working through some tough stuff right now, sir. You shouldn’t pry for answers.” The maid explained in a monotone voice.

“Alright, alright! Sorry…”

Now Sokka understood why Toph wanted him over so early. Makeovers aren’t exactly very quick… The maid was very good at what she did though. Sokka’s only complaint is that Toph wanted him to look like a high-class _girl_. The maid covered his face in makeup that was pretty but didn’t look right for his skin tone. She even put him in a platinum blonde wig styled in large twin buns with bangs and wisps of hair hanging down near his face. Sokka… kind of hated it. Did he _have_ to go on a stakeout in drag? And why a blonde wig?? Once his makeover was done, he looked like a Beifong himself. His blue eyes that would have immediately given away his identity were covered by green colored contacts. They weren’t a brilliant emerald green he had seen from some of the prettiest women in Hong Kong though; they were a dingy green like the foggy swamp. Would Sokka flirt with his female self? The answer was a solid **maybe**. Sokka got up, walking towards the door.

“Well, come on, Toph let’s head out-”

“ **Hold it!** ” Toph yelled.

Sokka turned around, “what is it with people always telling me to wait when I’m almost out of the door?!”

Toph stood up, “miss Biyu, I’ve heard from Zuko that Sokka wears these things called “crocs”... Is he wearing them right now?”

The maid looked at Sokka’s shoes, “yes ma’am.”

“Sokka…” Toph grumbled, “You have to take those off!”

“But…” Sokka pouted his lip, “I-I love them…”

“Look, it would be different if your hanbok went to the ground like mine, but if Biyu could see your shoes, it obviously doesn’t! So, you have to wear normal shoes! Why not miss Biyu’s?”

Sokka smirked, “Well, my shoes are a size nine so… I can’t possibly fit in girl shoes!”

“Actually” the maid, Biyu chimed in. “A size nine in men’s in perfect. My shoes are a size thirteen and a half.”

Sokka’s jaw dropped. The maid wasn’t tall at all, she had absolutely no reason to have such big feet. “Why are your feet so… so freakishly huge?!” 

The maid took off her flats, handing them over to Sokka. “I’m a descendant of Avatar Kyoshi, women with big feet are no strange occurrence in my family.”

Sokka shook his head “ _Spirits, of course, she has big feet… why wouldn’t she? Just my lucky day..._ ”

And with Sokka’s new pair of shoes, they were ready to go.

“Am I a pretty girl?” Sokka asked in the girliest tone he could pull off, strutting down the street.

“I have no idea what you look like. But I’m gonna guess no.”

Sokka frowned, crossing his arms “I bet Zuko and Aang would tell me I’m pretty…”

“Whatever, pretty pants.”

The journey to the mall wasn’t very long. They rode on a train to get there and proceeded to walk about half a block. Sokka hadn’t been on the streets they were roaming before. It was a fancier city next to where Toph lived. Toph mocked him for being so amazed though.

“You really are just some country boy… You’re impressed by anything…”

Sokka crossed his arms, “I’m not a country boy! I am an _ice boy,_ thank you very much. And you’re not impressed by anything!”

Toph shrugged “Fancy cities usually just mean more vibrations. Nothing special to me.”

Sokka looked at the sight in front of them. It was a huge mall. 

“This is it…” Sokka mumbled, instinctively trying to put his hands in his pockets. He got frustrated, remembering he was walking around in a dress.

“Yeah… there’s a shit ton of people here…” Toph crossed her arms, “what’s the time?”

Sokka pulled up his long sleeve to view his watch. “1:21 PM”

“Damnit!” Toph sighed, “we’re later than I wanted us to be…”

“What do we do now?”

Toph grabbed Sokka’s hand, “you’re my pair of eyes. Try and spot Zuko. He couldn’t have gotten far. And please keep a hold of me…there’s too many people in this damn mall. I don’t wanna lose you.”

“Got it!”

Sokka wished Toph recognized Zuko’s footsteps, but it wasn’t like he was super light on his feet like Aang. He had a pretty average walk. They stepped inside the mall, instantly being greeted by the strong smell of ladies’ perfume and 90’s pop playing all over the store. Sokka trotted all over the first floor, but there was no sign of Zuko just yet. Sokka’s stomach filled with anxiety at the thought of them being too late. 

“ _Think…_ ” Sokka thought to himself, “ _All black, messy hair, fair skin, yellow eyes, scar…_ ” Sokka was trying his best to think of every noticeable feature Zuko had. It _shouldn’t_ have been hard… half of the guy’s face was burnt. But in a crowd of so many people, he could’ve easily missed him. Then… Sokka bounced up as he saw the messy black hair he had become so familiar with. He walked closer to it, and the person turned around.

_It wasn’t Zuko…_ The guy in front of Sokka had extremely big blue eyes and no scar. He was just some scene kid. Sokka frowned.

“Toph… I don’t think we’ll find him.” 

Toph frowned “damn it! Come on, he has to be here somewhere!”

Sokka looked around, feeling as though he failed Toph. No Zuko... On a whim, he looked at the escalator. A guy with black boots stepped on it. Sokka felt like he was forgetting something… like there was something his mind knew that his memory wouldn’t show him. Then… he thought back to about two months ago. _Of course…_

Sokka looked up at the wearer. He was right next to an extremely tall, muscular man. He had a head of messy black hair and was wearing all black. Then, he revealed the left side of his face and it all came together.

That was him. Sokka had found Zuko! He had been wearing the boots he bought two months ago. Sokka remembered the older boy showing them off to him when he purchased them. Sokka smiled as he remembered going to the local Goodwill to try to find a bag that was even better than his stupid goth boots. He couldn’t find a bag that he genuinely liked… but he did find a neat little bracelet that matched his crocs.

“Found him.” Sokka mumbled.

“Really?!” 

“Yes! He’s going up the escalator right now.”

“Sweet! Don’t you dare lose track of him!”

After a few seconds, Zuko and the man he was talking to had gotten to the second floor. Sokka figured it was safe to go up as well without seeming suspicious. Sokka didn’t take his eyes off of the Japanese teenager. Zuko was walking towards a pretzel station, still talking to that strange man…

“Let’s take a seat near the pretzel bar. Or… station? Whatever it’s called.”

Toph sniffed around and pointed. “It’s that way, yeah?”

“Yup!”

They took a seat near the line. Sokka watched Zuko interact with the guy. He was faintly smiling, and his good eye had a twinkle of curiosity and joy in it. 

“I hear him…” Toph whispered. 

“Good…”

Sokka sort of hated just how well both Zuko and Toph could hear. Although Sokka supposed it was fair considering Toph was blind and Zuko is well… half-blind. But the stakeout wouldn’t be as successful without Toph’s hearing.

“They’re just talking about what they’re gonna get so far… Some of those pretzel balls with cheese.”

“That doesn’t sound half bad…”

Toph punched Sokka in the arm “focus! We’ll get food later.”

Sokka watched as the man next to Zuko ordered his food. Seeing Zuko next to such a big guy was almost unsettling. Zuko had been only an inch -if that- taller than Sokka when they met. But both Sokka and Aang had grown a bit after the war ended. Aang had just started growing though; But Sokka? Sokka was even a bit taller than Zuko now -not by much though-. Zuko was maybe 5’4… but the man he was accompanied with? That guy was at least 6’6. The woman behind the counter handed them their food, and the two sat down. Sokka celebrated inside his mind as he could hear just what Zuko was saying to the guy.

“What’s wrong?” The man asked in a low voice, “you’re being rather quiet.”

“Ok… that has to be a guy, right?” Toph whispered.

“Yup.” The man looked like the main protagonist of a badass action movie. He was dressed in a simple button-up shirt and jeans. 

“Oh! Um… nothing really, just kinda nervous for our…” Zuko murmured, looking down at the ground.

“ **Date?** ” The man asked, smiling.

Sokka wanted to shout right there. “ _Zuko’s… dating?! He’s dating a guy like_ ** _that?_ ** _!_ ” Sokka thought. Sure, Zuko was a bit of a weirdo. But what was going through his head to make him think that dating some shady ass older man was a good idea?

Sokka looked at Toph. She cringed. “Wait… how old is this guy?”

“Uhhh…” Sokka looked at the guy, “well I dunno. No offense but you guys over in the east look way younger than you actually are…”

“Oh fuck off” Toph grumbled. “Look, just give me a damn estimate!”

Sokka looked at the guy. His face screamed “ _rugged twenty-something year old_ ” But those eyes… they looked like they had a lot of experience. And although his face wasn’t super wrinkly, Sokka could make out some forming wrinkles. It was clear that the guy was nowhere near as young as Zuko. 

“Well, he’s at least… forty maybe?”

“Yuck! Welp, his official nickname is mister Pervertson.”

Sokka wanted to laugh. It was true though; why would a forty-year-old man go for a teenager if not for his own selfish desires?

Sokka hadn’t even realized that Pervertson had continued talking to Zuko.

“You don’t have to be nervous. I have everything planned just for the two of us…” 

Zuko smiled, taking a pretzel ball and popping it into his mouth. 

“How could he trust him so much?” Toph whispered.

“Are you picking up anything off about him?”

“I’m not a mind reader, ya know. His vitals have been the same this whole time though.”

Sokka heard Zuko giggle. “Thanks...you’re the best! You _have_ to meet Aang and the others! They’ll love you-”

“Woah, Woah!!” The man interrupted. “Look, I’d love to meet your friends… but let’s keep this our little secret, cute stuff.”

Zuko frowned, “Why? Surely if they just meet you nothing bad will happen…”

“They just shouldn’t know I exist. Don’t even tell your uncle about me, okay?” He smiled, putting a hand on Zuko’s cheek, “secrets are fun, right?”

“I-... I guess”

Sokka wanted to throw up. To practically force a kid to keep a secret just didn’t sit right with the native American boy. The whole situation just made Sokka feel uneasy. The two finished their snack relatively quickly and talked a little bit about stuff Sokka didn’t understand. There was a mention of a beach and phone calls late at night. It was clear that they were no strangers. After the last pretzel ball was gone, Zuko and Pervertson began moving again.

“Keep an eye on them!” Toph whispered. Sokka did so. It would be a catastrophe if they lost the two. 

The man led Zuko to an arcade. Sokka snickered. “ _If he actually knew Zuko, he would never make him go to an arcade._ ” Sokka thought. Memories of when he and Aang took him to an arcade fled back to him. Zuko was mellow most of the time; apparently, he blew up and broke a machine last time he went to one. He made sure to stay far away from the wack-a-mole, but he didn’t hesitate at all to play Street Fighter. He beat Sokka multiple times and beat Aang… although, that wasn’t much of a challenge; the kid had never even seen an arcade before.

“Are we gonna go after them?” Toph asked.

Sokka thought about it for a little. “Let’s not. Don’t wanna look too suspicious.” 

Sokka instead looked over at Zuko and his creepy date from afar, examining them closely. The arcade was right next to a Lush, so it gave them a bit of cover. Pervertson always stood right behind Zuko, never really even looking at what game he was playing. Sokka gagged… it was so weird how specific the man was. Even when he gave some games a shot, he always had to have things at a certain angle. The guy was actually pretty good at most of the games, which impressed Zuko greatly. 

“ _He was probably a teenager when arcades became popular_.” Sokka thought. 

It was weird just how overbearing Pervertson was. Whenever Zuko was even slightly struggling with a game, his hand would linger towards Zuko’s. Even when the teenager was visibly uncomfortable, the older man would never hesitate to just… stand behind him and guide his hands. It would’ve been cute… if he wasn’t old enough to be Zuko’s dad. It didn’t help that he always had that smug smirk on his face like it was all planned. 

Sokka didn’t watch Zuko and the guy the whole time they were there though. They spent at least an hour or two at the arcade. Although Sokka and Toph always kept track of what they were doing. The two friends also just drifted off into conversations sometimes. Toph didn’t like to share her feelings, but she always shared what was going on in her favorite audiobook. She had a nasty habit of dropping a story just to pick it up two months later; but it was always fun hearing about the fractions of stories she told. This time she was talking about an 80’s Americana story she had been listening to. It was about some girl and her big dog helping two brothers fight a mafia and a group of communists. Sokka thought it sounded interesting at the very least.

Sokka noticed two people walking out of the arcade. He grabbed Toph’s hand and walked into the Lush store behind them so they wouldn’t look out of place just standing outside of the arcade. Zuko walked out with a big stuffed animal of a black bunny with two heads. Zuko was blushing and smiling, thankful for the prize. It made sense; the stuffed animal looked like something straight out of a gothic wet dream.

“You’re pretty good with the whole Street Fighter game.” The man said sheepishly.

“Haha, thanks… It was the only video game I ever got to play as a kid.”

“Don’t lose them!” Toph whispered.

“Hello, ladies! Welcome to Lush” a worker girl called out, grabbing Sokka’s arm.

Sokka wanted to curse himself. He _almost_ forgot he was dressed as a fancy Korean girl.

“What can we get for you?” A guy asked, grabbing onto Toph’s arm. She jumped in shock. Why were Lush workers always so grabby?

Sokka panicked as Zuko started to fade out of sight. 

The male worker smiled at Toph. “Are you barefoot? Ya know, usually, it’s no shoes no service but I’ll make a pass for you, little girlie.”

Toph punched the guy in the gut. “Shut up! We gotta go! Grab my hand!”

The worker proceeded to do so. “Not you, dipshit!” Toph yelled, yanking away.

As soon as she felt Sokka’s hand touch hers, she went off sprinting.

“Shit. Shit. Shit!! Where’d they go? Do you see them?” 

Sokka looked around. Once he spotted the two-headed rabbit plushie, he knew where to go. It took a little running, but they were eventually at a safe enough distance to Zuko. 

Zuko and his date were just sitting at a little bench. Sokka and Toph decided to slouch on a pillar nearby. Zuko hadn’t noticed them yet, and they wanted to keep it that way. Pervertson put his arm around Zuko’s shoulder.

“I love your outfit today…” He said, mouth close to the teenager’s ear.

_Way too overbearing…_

Nonetheless, it seemed to make Zuko blush.

“Can I kiss you, cutie?”

“That’s so gross…” Toph whispered.

It was true. Sokka was wondering just how Zuko wasn’t bothered with the guy’s behavior. Zuko did seem to pull away a bit though.

“I mean… we’re in a mall. I dunno if I’m totally-”

Pervertson lifted Zuko’s chin. “It’ll feel good…”

Zuko still had a hesitant look on his face as the guy embraced him in a kiss.

“Umm…” Toph uncomfortably whispered, crossing her arms, “what are they doing?”

“Kissing…” Sokka replied, looking away. He cared about his friend, but he wasn’t going to watch him make out with some weirdo. They continued for a few seconds before Zuko pulled away, panting. Sokka looked at him. He looked rather uncertain for a little. He seemed like he was contemplating something. Then, he closed his eyes; and when he opened them, the worried look vanished. 

The older guy laughed, looking at Zuko’s flushed face. “Do you wanna go get some clothes now?”

Zuko perked up. “Um… sure! Well, if you want. I don’t have that much money on me.”

“Who said you had to pay money? I’ll buy you whatever you look at…”

“ _This guy means business…_ ” Sokka thought. He pondered about where the guy could get that money for a bit.

“You’re the best, Ren~” 

_Ren_ … so that was his name. Sokka shrugged; Pervertson made more sense. 

Pervertson smiled his smug smile. They both got up and the guy led Zuko to the Hot Topic.

“Damn, how did you know this was my favorite store?!”

“ _It’s not that hard to tell…_ ” Sokka thought, looking at Zuko’s striped sleeves, tight black jeans, and black choker. 

Sokka decided to go into the Hot Topic with them. Both him and Toph were sure the date was going to end in less than an hour or so.

Sokka had never seen Zuko smile so much. Getting an edgy stuffed animal and going to a Hot Topic on the same day must’ve been a dream come true. Zuko wandered around the shop, his date right behind him. Sokka noticed just how much the older man was biting his lip in the clothing store; specifically when looking at Zuko. Sokka was starting to wish he was blind like Toph. She was oblivious to the little details about Pervertson that made Sokka’s stomach twirl up into knots. 

The first thing that caught Zuko’s eye was a keychain. The cashier took some interest in it as well.

“You’ve heard about the Blue Spirit?” he asked, pointing at the little keychain.

Zuko’s lips curled in a mischievous smile. “Yeah… I’ve heard a few stories from some… _friends_.”

“Woahhhh” The cashier adjusted his beanie; “that’s meta… have you ever like, met him before?”

“Can’t say I have.” 

“He’s lying…” Toph whispered, “what relationship could he have had with the Blue Spirit?”

“He **is** the Blue Spirit, Toph.”

Sokka had seen him fight with his twin blades. He was no doubt the Blue Spirit. Besides, Aang had already told him who the Blue Spirit truly was. Good ol’ Zuko.

Zuko took the keychain. He just stood there, holding it for a little while before moving on.

Sokka started to sweat. Zuko was… an incredibly slow shopper. He always had to think before getting something. He had gotten multiple items of clothing. Then… his date decided to surprise him.

“Do you like this?” He asked, holding up a shirt.

Zuko’s jaw dropped when he saw the shirt. “Oh my Spirits! Of course I do! Mindless Self Indulgence is like, my favorite band!” 

Zuko took the shirt without hesitation. Actually- maybe shirt wasn’t the right word. More like a crop-top. Sokka wasn’t a personal fan of MSI, preferring classic rock over anything; but even then, he could still recognize the design on the front. It was their latest album cover. It had three Frankenstein girls on it. Sokka didn’t mind the art style, and the three undead girls were almost strangely sexy. 

Pervertson went up to the cashier and whispered something Sokka couldn’t make out. But the cashier nodded, going in the backroom. 

“Zuko…” the older man purred, “you’ve made my life so much better… and I want to reward you for it.”

Sokka saw Zuko look up at him with a hint of hope on his face.

“So that’s why I got you this”

The cashier came out with a black denim jacket. It had countless pins on it, most relating to Green Day. The jacket had kanji on it that Sokka couldn’t really read. Sure, it was cool, but nothing special to Sokka. However, when Zuko saw it, he froze. It was like time had paused.

A silent “ _How…?_ ” escaped from Zuko’s quivering lips.

“It’s the one and only. When I found out you were apart of the royal family, I knew I had to give it to you.”

Zuko gently grabbed the jacket, looking at it for a moment. He gave it a melancholy stare, seemingly thinking about some memories. He hugged it meekly.

“I don’t know how the hell you got a hold of this, but… thank you.” 

Zuko ran up to his date and hugged him passionately. The older guy didn’t return the hug though. Instead, he just had a slight grin on his face. Sokka balled his fists; he wanted to just wipe it off at the speed of sound. He was definitely up to something and it wasn’t good.

Shortly after that smug bastard paid for all of Zuko’s clothes, they walked out of the store.

“Oh… hey guys. Sorry, that guy and his little royal boyfriend had me tripping. See anything you like?” The cashier croaked.

“Nah, just looking.” Toph said; of course, Toph could never look at the clothes. Even if she could, she probably wouldn’t buy them.

Sokka went up to the cashier. “Hey handsome, I’m a pretty girl, right?” He battered his false eyelashes. Sokka just wanted a little validation that he would make a hot girl.

However, the man gave him a weird look and just walked away to the backroom. He refused to communicate with Sokka. The teenager frowned. _That’s a no…_ or maybe Sokka’s beauty was just too good for words. Probably not, but it was fun to think that.

“Sokka!” Toph cried. He turned around.

“Where are they now?”

Sokka looked around. Now that they had all those bags, they were pretty easy to spot. Zuko and Pervertson were going down an escalator.

Sokka grabbed onto the blind girl’s tiny hand “I see em’!” He walked with Toph towards the escalator. “Leave it to Sokka to be awesome!”

“Yeah, awesomely full of shit.” Toph said, laughing.

Sokka shook his head. She always had something to say… But he couldn’t help but find it endearing.

Once Sokka got off the escalator he looked around a little. Zuko was wandering towards a milkshake station. He seemed very… calm. Pervertson looked eager for something though. It was hard to tell, but he wasn’t fully contempt like Zuko. It was like his desire for something was slowly taking over his mind. 

“Wanna share a milkshake?” he asked, pointing a calloused finger towards the little station.

Zuko’s face was flushed, full of color. “Ummm… Sure!”

“Good, _good…_ ” Pervertson purred.

The two proceeded to get a chocolate milkshake. Sokka decided to let go a little, and so he finally got something. He got some orange chicken while Toph munched on some cheesy fries. Sokka sat down with Toph, unfortunately not close enough to hear what they were saying. Sokka knew it wasn’t good though. Something about that man’s eyes… it was just bizarre. He had a look in those hawk-like eyes that didn’t seem right. Zuko was oblivious to it though; and if he noticed, he didn’t care. Sokka had never seen the teenager’s cheeks look so rosy. Toph insisted that they were just having a lot of small chat while drinking their milkshake, most of it making Zuko pause and laugh.

“I can tell he gets uncomfortable around him…” Toph whispered, stuffing a fry in her mouth.

“Can’t say I blame him.”

After finishing the milkshake, the older man picked the cherry out of the glass cup and gave it to Zuko. He shook his head. Zuko only really liked cherry cola; he didn’t care for anything else with that sweet red flavor. The man popped it in his own mouth and… got up to kiss Zuko. The cherry presumingly went right into the boy’s mouth. Zuko was shocked… and so was Sokka for that matter. He wanted to gag…

There was no way Zuko could decline it now. He chewed it up and swallowed, giving an awkward smile to his date. They continued to talk a bit more before Zuko had seemingly got over his date’s creepy action. Pervertson chuckled, grabbing Zuko’s hand and leading him somewhere else. 

Sokka watched as the two walked out of the entrance door. The date was over…

Sokka shook his head. “Damn… that was just…”

“Let’s follow them some more.”

“Why? The date’s over.”

“I wanna know just how Zuko’s gonna get home. His house isn’t exactly close to the mall.”

“Alright, alright. But then we have to go! I need to take a nap after all this or I might just throw up…” 

Sokka spotted them right away in the parking lot. Pervertson was putting all of Zuko’s gifts in the back of his bright red sports car. They were going home together.

“Let’s like… hide behind a car so they don’t see us.” Sokka whispered, going to the parking lot. Toph followed right behind him, holding his hand.

“It’s a wonder how they haven’t become suspicious,” Toph remarked.

“Well, Pervertson is too busy looking at Zuko’s ass.”

Toph snorted. They snuck their way to the right of the car next to them. There was so way either would spot them. Sokka could just barely pick up on the conversation.

“Seriously… thank you so much. This has been the best day of the summer.”

“Aw no problem, baby.” The older man hummed “but you know, you did cost me quite a lot.”

“I’m sorry… I’ll give you all the money you want later. It’s just, I thought you said you would pay for it yourself…” The teenager sighed, “Um… damn, I’m… so sorry.” He was so awkward but sincere nonetheless. 

Sokka heard a deep chuckle. “I never told you to pay in money…”

“But-”

Sokka heard some struggling. He was about to spring up and make sure that the bastard wasn’t hurting Zuko, but he calmed down when he heard a kissing sound. It went on for some time, skin slapping against clothed skin sometimes making its way to Sokka’s ears. Eventually, all Sokka heard was raspy panting and deep groaning. 

“I’m…” Zuko took a pause, “confused. You said I didn’t need to pay money… so why are you even bringing this up?”

“That’s true… but I never said you didn’t need to pay.”

Sokka could imagine Zuko’s shocked face as he probably pulled away from Pervertson.

“Are you-”

“ _Yes…_ ” The older man chuckled, “why don’t you come to my house so you can **pay?**...” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy fuuuuck this took a lot of editing haha. but uh Grammarly said it looks good so I'm hoping it's okay. ngl I made the chapter and rereading the last part still makes me uncomfortable. But that's my goal; when I had a Ren in my life, he did creepy-ass shit that should've been red flags. But I thought they were sweet in the heat of the moment. Anyways he's going full sugar daddy mode on this bitch. Also quick thing I wanted to add if I called Toph a Hun Gar master in this chapter I'm sorry. While in this au, she is apart of the Hun Gar clan (cuz she's an earthbender in canon obviously) Toph's fighting style is actually based on Northern Mantis, although other earthbenders are in fact based on Hun Gar. Just a little oopsie I made but this is an ao3 fanfic it's gonna have some little errors.


	5. Sex for Homework

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko pays Ren and things get way too steamy. There's a part of Zuko's mind telling him that things have gone too far...but does he listen to it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God damn, I honestly don't even have words for this shit.
> 
> Quick tw, this whole chapter is basically just a big sex scene. I've been through the exact same shit Zuko went through in this chapter and it still makes me a bit uncomfy but I still wanted to write it cuz this is a fanfic on ao3. But just know that this chapter is COMPLETELY skippable!
> 
> Soooo with that out of the way, I wanna thank everyone who has been supporting me haha. Also, I read back on a few of my first chapters and I don't really like chapter 2 so I may or may not edit it when I'm done with the fic. Anyway, hope you enjoy it!

“ **_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ **” Zuko thought, his mind racing as they pulled into the driveway. He was here…

Ren’s house was more normal looking than the teenager was expecting. He’d probably passed by it a few times in the past. It was small with a plain yet well-kept lawn. Zuko looked around, trying to distract himself from what they were about to do. But it was pointless; he couldn’t avoid the elephant in the room for much longer. Zuko started to feel guilty. Maybe he should’ve expected this? Wasn’t _it_ a normal thing for couples to do?

Zuko smiled; “ _me… dating? This should be great. Couples are cute and this is…normal? Yeah! It’s gonna be fine. I’m going to be fine._ ”

Zuko’s thoughts were muted as he heard a low giggle. It was Ren, looking at Zuko drift off.

“You look so beautiful when you space out like that…”

_“He cares about me…he…loves me_.”

Zuko took a deep breath in, smiling at the thought of somebody liking him like that. He deserved to be paid back after all he’s done for the boy… _right?_

Ren tilted his head, “are you nervous?”

Zuko nodded, looking out of the window.

“Want a cigarette?”

“Nah…but do you have any rum?”

Ren smiled, opening his car door, “yup. There’s some in the house. Let’s go inside. I’ve been waiting _so_ long to get you here…”

The older man let Zuko in his house. Zuko took his shoes off at the front; walking around a house with shoes on seemed like a stupid idea. Zuko looked around at his surroundings. It was fairly nice, covered in expensive and fussy furniture. Ren grabbed a bottle of rum and led Zuko to his bedroom. It was a marvelous sight. Absolutely covered in red velvet. It looked like the room of a distressed princess he would see in a fairytale. It was like a velvet garden of lust. They talked about just how nice the house looked on the inside. It smelled great too. The whole house smelled of hypnotizing lavender. Ren took off his shirt, laying on the bed with a smile on his face.

Zuko’s lips pressed against the bottle. The liquor on his lips relaxed him a bit. Zuko took a seat on the bed, getting another hit of the rich rum. 

He couldn’t help but stare at the older man’s bare chest. A part of his mind was telling him to be scared, nervous of what the outcome of this encounter could do to him. Zuko felt anxiety take over his mind. He gulped down more alcohol. After a few minutes, his lips had loosened and his mind was relaxed. _He could do this…_

Zuko’s lips curled into a smile, being comforted by the buzz he felt. Gorgeous beams of the afternoon sun peeped through the luxurious curtains. “I like your shirt.”

Ren laughed, looking at the teenager as he put the bottle on the nightstand.

“Are you ready to pay me?”

Zuko suddenly picked the bottle back up, gulping down some more. He contemplating answering before realizing that there was no turning back now.

Zuko looked down at his feet, “as ready as I’ll ever be…”

The older man smiled slyly, “good…” He grasped Zuko’s neck, not too hard for it to be scary. However, it still managed to surprise the boy. “Get on your knees.”

Zuko felt his face get red. “ _This is really happening…”_ He did as his date asked, hopping down to the carpeted floor and getting on his pale knees. The truth was that he could quite literally be on his knees all night if he wanted. It wasn’t a big deal for him. Ren took a sharp inhale looking at the teenager.

“Well look at that…” He sat at the end of his bed, thighs housing the boy’s face, “I got the future lord on his knees for me.”

Zuko tried to look away. Even under the influence, it was embarrassing. He complied though. Ren seemed like the type of guy to want a submissive yet confident answer. “Yes sir…”

“Fuck… you’ve been making me so hot. I need you to take my pants off, little cutie.”

Zuko looked up at him. He was biting his lip, practically begging to be touched. The teenager brushed his hand up against his crotch. Ren sharply inhaled. “ _Damnit…_ ” Zuko thought. He was doing such a lewd deed... He continued to rub against his date’s growing bulge. He looked up at Ren, who was breathing heavily. Zuko tried his best to smile as he played around with the older man’s zipper. 

“Do it already, you little tease!” 

“Okay, sir.” 

The teenager felt his throat dry up a little. He gulped, slowly pulling down the golden zipper. Once it was all the way open, he unbuttoned the older man’s pants. He pulled them down and began to rub Ren’s thighs. They were nice and flawless; just like the rest of him. So impressively sculpted that he could just sit there and stare at them for hours. 

“Come on baby, give me some air down there.”

Zuko giggled, coming to a different conclusion than Ren probably wanted. He started to blow on his clothed crotch. He looked up at the older man playfully.

Ren didn’t seem as amused. He took a fist full of Zuko’s hair, giving it a hard tug. “Not like that, silly. Take them off too… you wanna see it, don’t you?”

“Damn, calm down. I was only fucking around a bit, sir.”

Ren slouched back a bit, putting his bulge even closer to Zuko’s face. “Just be a good boy for me.”

Zuko wanted to pull back and tell him no. Being ordered around like that _again_ was chipping away at the little pride he had left. But did it matter? Seeing Ren go crazy was almost worth it. He had to pay him, after all.

He rubbed against the older man’s boxers. There was a huge tent in his boxers begging to be set free as some pre oozed out; leaving a small wet spot. Zuko looked at it with a blank face. Ren was so turned on…that feeling made Zuko high. He wanted to continue now just to see the satisfied face of the older man. He wanted to know he was doing well. Zuko continued rubbing his clothed cock, going down to kiss the tip.

“Fuck! Take it off, baby…” 

Zuko smiled, breathing louder than normal. For a second, it seemed like he sobered up and thought about if he actually wanted things to go this far so soon. He ignored that thought. _Ren wanted this and he wanted it now._ He slowly pulled his boxers down. 

_Smack!_

The teenager flinched as Ren’s dick sprung up in his face. It smelled musky, making Zuko pull back a bit. His good eye widened, looking at the older man’s dick. Just like the rest of him, it was thick and large. He was hung like a fucking horse. It had an interesting girth to it. Zuko wanted to compare it to an extra meaty burrito. Yikes, that was cheesy. But he didn't know what else to see it as. Seeing it up so close made his face red. Zuko was drunk off of a strange kind of lust.

“Well…do you like it?”

“It’s… one of the biggest I’ve ever fucking seen…”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Ren put a finger on his chin, “I wonder… do you want to suck it? _Can_ you even suck it?”

Zuko made a little pouty face; “of course I can suck it.”

“Good… You’re gonna take that dick down your throat like a champ, right?”

“Yes sir.”

The older man purred, grabbing a fancy looking bottle of lube. “I like it when you call me that...”

_Plop!_

The baby oil touched Ren’s hand. He stroked it, making himself wet.

“A lot of stupid guys don’t seem to understand that their cocks don’t smell like roses. Always cover it in something to smell better…besides this kind isn’t bad to lick. Doesn’t have a taste.”

Zuko felt his heart throb. Finally, a guy understood that he smelled fucking disgusting if he didn’t shower beforehand. His fat dick looked even better all lubed up. 

Ren grabbed a fist full of Zuko’s hair, making him yelp. The rush of pain felt good. He looked up at Ren’s hungry face. “Suck.”

The teenager grabbed the base of his cock. He started to lick it all the way…but he teased the tip. He felt proud, seeing Ren’s lustful face contort. Men always acted as though they hated teasing, but Zuko always knew some desired it deep down. Zuko decided to give Ren what he wanted though. He finally touched the tip. The older man let out a groan. The teenager was licking the tip, swirling his tongue around ever so slightly. 

“Fuck…!”

That was Zuko’s sign to go farther. He finally popped the tip into his mouth. He trusted that Ren had the stamina to take a long blowjob. Zuko started to suck, moving his tongue as he bopped his head up and down. He felt satisfied hearing Ren whimper and moan. Zuko decided to suck more of his length. He had plenty to work with… 

He firmly grabbed the base, stroking it thoroughly as he started to take more and more into his mouth. He quietly moaned, feeling Ren’s dick throb and ache in bliss.

“Oh- oh my…” the older man groaned, running his fingers through Zuko’s hair, “you’re like a little vacuum mouthed whore…” 

Zuko wanted to laugh, " _is that normal slang?_ " he thought to himself. Ren pulled at the boy's hair.

" **Whore**."

He felt a rush of pleasure ache all over his body. _Whore_ … for some reason, that encouraged him to take even more. His head moved faster as his tongue was licking almost every inch of Ren’s dick. He could only imagine what Ren was thinking. Maybe about how his tongue felt or the way Zuko looked as he sucked the guy off. He was going crazy, wanting more. And Zuko started to want more too. He started to crave the nonexistent taste of baby oil on his tongue; he wanted to taste Ren’s precum. Zuko couldn’t hold back…

He shoved the whole thing in his mouth. His tongue pressed against the girthy base like it was trying to crush it. The teenager closed his eyes, loving the feeling of Ren’s hot cock going down his throat. He could barely breathe.

“What the fuck…” The older man chuckled before groaning. “I wonder…” He panted before continuing, “you’re such a good dick sucker… Is this a secret talent of the royal family…or have you just been down this road too many times?”

Zuko’s eyes darted away from Ren but he continued to give him head. The humiliation he felt from earlier came back… Zuko wanted to sigh, but instead just closed his eyes, feeling Ren’s pubic hair touch his nose. Some precum dripped right into his throat. It all felt…weird (especially the pubes) but comforting in a way. His date wasn’t having it though.

Zuko felt his hair get yanked back. The dick was out of his mouth and he was looking straight at Ren. He tried to catch his breath; panting as he looked at the older man.

“ **Answer me.** ”

Zuko didn’t respond. He looked away from Ren. But he just grabbed Zuko’s cheek and made the teenager look right at him again.

“Be a good boy and tell me how many dicks you’ve sucked. There’s no way this is your first blowjob…is it, baby?”

A chill went down the boy’s spine. The look Ren gave him was not a very comforting one. Zuko sighed, “no... I’ve done it before. I can’t remember how many I’ve…” He flinched, feeling his face get hot. 

“So you’ve lost count…how naughty. Why would a prince be out sucking cock?” 

“I got banished for three fucking years... I was homeless for a little while too. It was for money.”

It was true. Being poor, stranded in such an unfamiliar land with nothing to eat didn’t sit right with Zuko. He often found himself going out robbing people…but he did other things to get money. Some of the men in the two Koreas and China were desperate for a blowjob by a young man. Zuko still got degraded though; even when he was pleasing them, he wasn’t enough. He would never be enough, would he? 

Ren snickered, shoving Zuko’s face back to his cock. Precum oozed out.

“You’re such a little slut…hustling for money like that. You must have no dignity or honor, don’t you?”

Zuko was about to tear up… He felt his self-control snap. _No honor…_ damn that awful word. It didn’t even matter. Ren liked it, so it couldn’t have been that bad. It wasn’t like the older man had that much dignity either; he was asking no- **_begging_ ** for this. Zuko giggled, grabbing the rum. He needed more of that shit before he had a mental breakdown. He gulped it down, putting it back on the table.

“You’re so sexy…keep sucking it for me. I bet you would love my cum all over your face and in your slutty little throat.”

Zuko did so, taking it all at once. He felt Ren attempt to squirm around as he let out a moan. The teenager didn’t know how to feel. It all felt so exciting and sweet…he loved the praise. He even loved the dirty talk. He was getting high off of it but…a part of him was also sad for some odd reason. But he didn’t care. Zuko was actually enough for a man and that made him feel good. 

The teenager was practically trying to fuck his throat with that cock. He needed more. After going steady the whole time, Zuko finally choked on it. A chill went all over his body, making his nipples feel different. _It made his nipples hard._ He was hard himself. He blushed out of shame. It was all so indulgent…but felt so euphoric.

Zuko took the length out of his mouth, feeling it throb in pleasure. He slowly licked and kissed the tip, finding comfort in Ren’s groans. Ren loved it, and that alone made Zuko love it. 

“Fuck! I-I’m gonna-”

_Splat!_

Zuko looked up at Ren. His eyes closed out of bliss as the last few drops of his seed dripped out. Zuko was probably making some sort of pouty-ish face. His breath quivered as he felt some of his steamy load drip down his face. He felt it in his mouth too; it tasted like weird whisky. It wasn’t the most pleasant taste, but at least it didn’t taste like battery acid. 

“Are you gonna swallow the little mess you made?”

Zuko nodded, swishing his cum around his mouth a little. He gulped it down, panting.

“What a good boy…” Ren ran his fingers through his own hair; “You give a mean ass blowjob.”

The two sat on the bed for a little. Ren held the teenager close to his chest. They said very few words as they laid there, touching each other’s bodies. Sometimes Ren would lean down to kiss Zuko, but for the most part, they did nothing. Zuko didn’t know how long they silently laid there. It could’ve just been for twenty minutes, or over an hour. Eventually, Zuko decided to break the silence.

“Did I pay you well?”

Ren smirked, “ohhh yeah…but you’re not done yet cutie.”

Zuko raised a brow; “what do you mean?”

“I just have to fuck you…”

Ren pinned Zuko to the bed, embracing him with a messy kiss. Zuko felt so hot… it was like he could explode out of pleasure at any moment. But anxiety dangled over his head…he never had sex before. Did he really want to? Zuko could only imagine that messing around with something that size would be nothing but pain. 

Ren cupped Zuko’s cheek. “Have you ever done that…?”

The teenager just shook his head, looking away. Ren snickered “I see you’re not a total whore.” He smiled, seeming to fantasize about something, “I’ll be your first… I’ll be the only one to say that I got to fuck a sexy little prince.”

Ren wanted it…Ren wanted _him_. The older man wanted something that he could give to him so easily, he might as well. Ren gave him attention and so it was justifiable in Zuko’s mind. He viewed him as a hot gift from the spirits. Ren could do no wrong in Zuko’s eyes.

“I’ll be happy to let you take my…”

Zuko blushed. Realizing he was sixteen and had never had a sexual encounter that wasn’t for money was rough. Wasn’t it normal for teens even younger than him to try something? Zuko shook his head. Things were different when you were bred by war. He was just experiencing normal teenage things a bit later than most...right?

“Oh! Uhhh…my v-virginity.”

Ren gave him a warm smile, lifting his shirt. Zuko struggled to get his hands out of his long striped sleeves. When he managed to get it off and toss it to the ground, he looked up at the older man. He was biting his lip.

“What a nice build…” he laughed, “I thought you would be way skinnier!”

The teenager’s face got hot. “Well… I was skinny for a long time! But eventually, all the workouts paid off….”

Ren brushed his hand over the boy’s waist. “You still have a slender structure though.” 

He chuckled; “such a girly little waist…” he murmured under his breath.

Zuko closed his eyes… _damn was this embarrassing…_

Ren cocked his head. He traced his hand over the scar under his chest. “My…you’re just covered with burns. How’d you get this?”

Zuko flinched thinking about his sister in a time like _this…_ **_gross_**. But all of his sexual thoughts were shoved down his mind as he thought about that moment.

“Well… someone struck me with fucking lightning.” he cringed, “and that someone is my sister but I don’t wanna think about _any_ of my family while I’m about to have sex…”

Ren gave him a surprised look. “Lighting…that’s a crazy thing to do for such a young Shaolin master! How did you even survive that?!”

Zuko glared at him uncomfortably. 

“Oh….sorry.”

Ren tried to bring up the topic of the boy’s blowjob to get his fucked up family out of his head. After a couple of minutes, it worked well enough to get Zuko back into the mood. He forgot all about that awkward conversation. To be showered in compliments like that… it was beautiful. Ren was rubbing around his scar. The man’s soft touch made Zuko’s usually tense body relax.

He felt a warm hand on his chest. The teenager sharply inhaled as a thumb rubbed over one of his nipples. 

“You’re a sensitive one…”

Zuko opened his amber eyes to look at Ren. He smiled, drawing his hand lower and lower. Zuko looked at his thighs; Ren was hard again and wanted more. The older man didn’t beat around the bush; unbuttoning the boy’s pants and almost ripping them off. 

“You look so fucking beautiful.” 

Ren’s lips touched Zuko’s. The teenager felt so mushy inside… it was such a perfect experience. 

“You’re so hot, Ren…” he whispered as Ren took his boxers off.

The older man grinned, “pretty…”

He got off of Zuko, digging in his drawers for something. He pulled out a condom, wrapping it around himself. He put some lube on it, stroking his cock with fierce precision. 

“I haven’t gotten tested in a little while. Don’t wanna dirty you up with something.”

Zuko smiled, “ _he’s so considerate…he’s amazing_.” 

“Bend over, cutie.”

“Yes sir.” 

The teenager hummed, flipping over on his stomach. “ _This is so weird…”_ He bent over, blushing.

Ren whistled.

_Slap!_

Zuko felt a little pain. He bit his lip…what was he supposed to do?

“You’d look so cute if you arched your back.”

Zuko tilted his head, “uhhh… what does that mean?”

Ren sighed, laughing.

“Dude, sorry! I haven’t gone to school in like...three years.”

“You know what the McDonalds M looks like, right?”

“I guess…”

“Like half of the M, but upside down.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?”

“Okay… just like stick your ass in the air as far as possible.”

Zuko somewhat understood it better. He did so, yelping as the older man smacked his ass again. 

“There we go…” he croaked.

Ren used one hand to grab onto Zuko’s side, dick brushing against his pale skin. 

“Just tell me if I need to pull out. I hope you’ll take this like a little slut.”

Zuko gulped, preparing himself. “ _It’s gonna hurt at first… but it’ll get better. You got burned twice…it’s gonna be nothing compared to that_.” He thought to himself. He gripped the thick velvet bedsheets. 

“I’m ready...”

Ren rubbed the tip around his ass. Zuko blushed, wondering what the older man was thinking again. He cocked his head imagining the dirty things that could be racing through his head. Then, he felt extreme discomfort. He was trying to stick the head in. It felt like he was trying to put a samurai katana in a tiny dagger scabbard. Ren grunted. After a few seconds, the pain got a bit worst.

“Is it in yet?”

“I don’t even have the head in. You’re tight as could be…” 

Zuko’s face got red, “can’t you like… put your finger in first?”

“I’m gonna have to.”

A chill went down the teenager’s spine as he felt a slick finger go inside him. Ren fingered him, making the boy feel weird. He didn’t see the pleasure in it just yet. It felt more like he was just plugging a large finger in his ear or something. Then, Ren added two. Two digits somehow felt way different than one. Zuko flinched, feeling himself loosen up. It was painful…yet desirable. If that’s how being fucked felt, he wouldn’t mind. 

“There we go~”

Ren took his big fingers out of him. The teenager couldn’t help but moan as he felt a greater pain. Then it died down a bit as he felt himself suck up something large like a magnet. _It was in._

“Does it hurt?”

“It… i-” Zuko panted, grabbing the sheets, “it feels so...good.”

He felt baby oil drip onto his ass. Ren started to move his hips, slow yet calculated. 

“So…you’re a little masochist?”

“No…!”

He gasped as the older man smacked his ass. He let out a wanton moan, trying to restrain himself.

“I bet you love pain as long as there’s no fire… You cute little slut.”

_Fuck_. Ren’s dirty talk was accompanied by his rhythmic thrusts getting faster as his cock throbbed. With every thrust, there was some slight discomfort, but it started to feel incredible. The luxurious friction made Zuko want to explode. It made all the aching earlier worth it. He bit his knuckles in an attempt to silence himself. They started to bleed as his teeth dug into them.

Ren grabbed Zuko’s wrist, “stop that. I love hearing you so flustered~”

Zuko’s breathing came out in messy puffs. He whimpered as he heard Ren groan.

“Does it…does it feel good?” Zuko asked between pants.

_Slap!_

“I love the feeling of this young bussy~”

Ren moved around a bit, making the boy go crazy. The older man snickered, giving Zuko’s hair a little tug. “Found your p-spot.”

“My _what_?”

The older man didn’t respond, instead acting on his desires.

Ren groaned again, beginning to slowly ram himself into the teenager. 

“ **Fuck!** ” Zuko cried. He felt tears well up in his eyes.

“Does it hurt too much?”

Zuko sighed under his breath, not answering. He couldn’t even talk anymore… He just tried to keep his composure (doing a rather poor job). He could barely even think in English.

“Baby…” Ren leaned in closer to Zuko’s ear, “I asked you a question.”

“N…” the boy paused as his mind lingered with desires, “N...no.”

“Great. You’re being such a good boy~”

Ren sped up. Zuko had to close his eyes; he felt like they would pop out of his head if he tried to roll them back any farther. He tried to bite his lip but found himself panting and moaning too much to do so. He clawed onto the sheets as if his life depended on it. He felt an infinite amount of ecstasy. _So this was sex…_ What a euphoric experience. No wonder characters always boned in movies.

Zuko gasped, feeling Ren’s dick burrow into him as he let out an incoherent mess of noises. He let his body rest against the teenager’s body. Zuko stopped “arching his back” or whatever it was called. He didn’t mind the heavy weight of Ren’s slumped over body on him. He actually found himself enjoying it…the crushing feeling only made his constant huffing more enjoyable. He liked it. 

Although Ren eventually got off of the younger boy. Zuko turned around, laying on his back again. Ren’s face was bright red. He lazily pinned the boy down. Zuko couldn’t blame him though; he fucked with a lot of fire and passion. Sweat dripped onto Zuko’s chest. The boy was still trying to catch his breath. Ren smirked, taking off his condom. 

“Look at how much you made me cum…”

Zuko was truly shocked. He wouldn’t have been surprised if some had leaked out inside of him…or did condoms not work like that? Putting that aside, it made him feel so dirty knowing he had made a man nut twice in one day. It showed just how much he liked Zuko…how worthy he was of romantic love. He had never truly felt like that. He desired to feel more of that sweet pleasure. But there was still a small part of his mind telling him that this was wrong. Zuko couldn’t tell if it was because of Ren’s age or the fact that he’s a man. He tried his best to shake the thought off. 

_“It’s okay to like guys…it’s okay to like Ren.”_ He thought. He repeated that exact sentence over and over in his head until he felt something warm touch his cheek. It cut his thoughts off. Zuko looked up. Ren was pouring the cum from the condom right onto the boy. 

“Do you like the way I fucked you?”

Zuko’s lips quivered as he tried to form some sort of sentence in English.

“H-...” Zuko paused, thinking, “yeah. I-I loved it.”

“Do you like this dick?”

“Yes sir.”

Ren chuckled, looking at the teenager with a warm and comforting look in his eye. Zuko felt the hot, wet feeling of cum on his neck and chest as Ren poured his load all over him.

“Smile for me…”

With the rum combined with making love, Zuko was tired. He gave him a messy smile. His mouth was open and his brow furrowed in a sleepy yet romantic way. Ren hummed softly.

“You look so fucking perfect.”

He took his right thumb, stretching the side of Zuko’s mouth farther open. Zuko thought it was strange and tried to pull away.

“You’re weird…”

“Yes, I’m aware of that. But you’re just so cute.”

He got off of Zuko and laid beside him. Zuko nuzzled his chest, legs intertwined as the love lingered in the room. Ren put an arm around the boy’s shoulder.

“You should probably go shower so you can head home. You can borrow a shirt of mine if you need to.” Ren kissed his date on the forehead, “but please stay in my arms for a little longer.” 

Zuko smiled, caressing Ren’s chest. “Well…okay.”

  
He loved the feeling of mellowness and warmth as he was with Ren. He never wanted to get off of him. He wanted to be there for a beautiful eternity. Zuko loved being with Ren. He smiled at the thought of Ren loving to be with Zuko. Zuko held on tighter to Ren at the idea that the older man might’ve even loved Zuko. Ren cares about him… **_doesn’t he?..._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it through this you're either very horny or just dedicated to reading this fic haha. But in this chapter, I had another place to describe in pretty details like with the beach. Also random detail but I just noticed how much I include cherries in this fic... it's in my username for fucks sake I'm obsessed. This fic only gets more fucked up from here but I'm gonna write a few lighthearted chapters. Thanks for all the support! I have no idea how long the next chapter's gonna be but hopefully it'll be out soon! :)
> 
> Oh also I had no idea how to translate lightning bending over to martial arts so uhhhh interpret that as you will.


	6. Gothic Gold Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gaang goes grocery shopping to get snacks for a movie when they spot some familiar faces...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy FUCKKKKKKKK I am so sorry this took ages to make my birthday was the 30th and it was chaos. And like I've been neglecting my art so I worked on it the last few weeks. But ayyyyeee it's finally out. Also yeah I'm an unoriginal jackass who's made three fucking chapters take place in some type of store I PROMISE I WON"T DO IT ANYMORE FIJAOEHO. Anyways hope this doesn't suck too bad.

“Dude…” Zuko sighed, hearing the obnoxious and shitty 2000’s music play in the store, “what movie are we watching again?”

“The Scooby-Doo movie!” Sokka exclaimed, scanning the aisle for fruit snacks. 

Aang bounced up and down, “yeah! I know it’s just gonna be great!” He tilted his head, “what’s a Scooby-Doo?”

“Are you shitting me?” Toph chimed in, “I thought you guys were gonna watch a good movie…”

“Hey! My friend from Speedway said it was awesome and he watched it in theaters!” Sokka snickered, “Oh, and you’re watching it too, Toph. It probably has a lot of funny dialogue that you’ll enjoy!”

“I’d rather have my feet burned again than sit through that…”

Zuko was just utterly confused, “wait what the fuck is a Scooby-Doo?”

“That’s what I’m asking!” Aang threw his hands in the air. Zuko was glad he wasn’t the only one baffled by what Sokka was saying. Even if that someone had never even heard of a movie before.

“You know…it’s like that show with all the hippie stoner kids and their talking dog!”

Zuko….still had no idea what it was. But he just nodded, pretending that something had clicked in his mind.

Zuko heard the sound of a shopping cart. He turned around to see Katara. She had all the drinks in the cart. There was everything from water to some obscure diet soda.

“Why do you need so many drinks? It’s probably like a one-hour movie...” 

Katara rolled her eyes at the teenage boy. “First of all, why aren’t you guys out getting the snacks? And second of all, this is a sleepover. You can never be too prepared!”

“Yup.” Sokka put his hand over Zuko’s shoulder, “you know she’s little miss Paranoid Neat Freak.” he whispered slyly. 

“I heard that!” 

Zuko leaned towards Sokka, “she’s kinda sensitive too…”

Sokka shrugged, “eh, the youngest usually is. But that’s what makes Katara so awesome!” He smiled at his little sister.

_“Azula isn’t sensitive…_ ” Zuko thought, almost instantly. Zuko had never seen her cry since she was four (until her breakdown). She was more like a cold-blooded middle child. He looked at Katara, who had softened up at Sokka’s remark. She was still angry though.

“You’re so stupid…” She muttered, “but seriously, go get the snacks!”

“Alright, alright!” Sokka cleared his throat, posture more proper than usual, “Aang! Go get the sweets! And Zuko! Go get the noodles! Toph just stays with me.”

Katara smiled, giggling, “that’s the spirit!”

Zuko just shrugged. He didn’t mind picking out the noodles. The teenager headed over to the aisle, mind wondering with trivial thoughts. He vaguely felt like he was forgetting something. _Did he forget to put one of his earrings on?_ He abruptly came to a stop. The pasta aisle! There it was in all of its carbohydrate magnificence. He was just looking for some cheap ramen, which was way over near the other side of the aisle. No biggie; the real challenge would be finding something that the group would like. That strange feeling of forgetfulness came back. Zuko sighed out of frustration; he was going to be pissed all night if he didn’t figure out what he forgot. 

“ _Just focus on the damn noodles…_ ” 

He glared at all of the different brands. _No, no, no. no..._ Then, he happened to glance over at a particular spicy kind of ramen. _Yes_! Did Zuko have an addiction to spicy food? Perhaps. But wasn’t it in his nature? He grabbed a box, but then that burning itch in the back of his mind came back and spread all over his brain. He had forgotten something important...but what?

“Damnit…” He smacked himself a few times, “ _think!!! What the fuck are you forgetting?!_ ” 

“Mommy! Mommy!! What is that funny guy doing?” A child giggled. 

“Just look away, Lee…” The mother sighed, “teenagers these days…so disappointing…”

The old Zuko would probably yell at the woman to shut up and mind her own business. In fact, Zuko almost instinctively wanted to tell her to be quiet. But he understood that he looked like a total lunatic.

“ **Well, this one’s pretty cool…** ” 

Zuko looked up. He recognized that husky voice…it sounded so recognizable. A chill went down his spine. 

That stubble...those lips... **that was Ren** . Zuko’s heart raced and his stomach became queasy looking at him. Why the hell would he meet him here? Was it that much of a small world? He thought about the last time they had seen each other in person.. _.that night_ …

“Hey, Zuko. Whatcha’ doing in a place like this?”

“Uhhh…” He gulped, trying to avoid eye contact, “looking for...pasta! But not Italian… That stuff’s kinda gross. Um, no offense if you’re Italian! Like, you know…ramen?...” 

He sounded like a fool. A damn and utter fool. Ren didn’t mind though, he never did. There was a tint of pleasure in his eye as he let out a laugh. 

Zuko grabbed another box of the brand he was eying. 

Ren’s eyes widened at the sight of the ramen. “Damn! Are you trying to light your mouth on fire or something?”

Zuko sighed, “oh come on, you’re one of my people! You should be able to handle this, right?”

The older man paused for a bit, thinking. Suddenly, Ren’s lips curled into a smile, “why don’t you come to my place so you can find out?”

Zuko froze in place. No…he couldn’t. Zuko couldn’t just leave his friends like that. But the look on Ren’s face told him that he _had_ to come over. He saw the burning desire in the older man’s face. It was beautiful yet so bone-chilling. Then, Zuko felt something bump into him. For a second, he thought it was Ren smacking his ass. But then he heard a voice.

“Zuko…?”

He turned around and looked down. “T-Toph! Aren’t you supposed to be with Sokka?”

“Oh…” Ren murmured, “sorry I ran into you earlier, little girl. Sometimes I need to watch where I’m going!”

Toph seemed to be shocked. It was as if she had a huge realization. “Yeah, you should be sorry…” she grumbled.

Ren snickered, “you must be Toph.”

“Damn right I am!” She crossed her arms, “you done picking out the noodles?”

Zuko glanced around. He remembered Ren’s words… “ _let’s keep this our little secret, cute stuff_.” Ren didn’t want this. And frankly, Zuko didn’t want to find out what would happen if he introduced Toph to a guy like Ren. He had to get Toph back to Sokka. 

“Uh...yeah! But gimme a second, I’m thinking about how much I need to get.”

She wasn’t moving. Toph knew he was lying. _Shit..._

“Well, I’m gonna go get a….Paris Hilton shirt too! And then I’m gonna go to the bathroom to fix my...makeup!”

Toph’s angry look seemed to vanish. Instead, the girl looked...sad. Like she was disappointed in something or someone. She turned away from Zuko. “Ugh, whatever...just tell me when you have the ramen. I’m gonna find Sokka I guess.” She walked away, “and next time don’t lie just to get me away from you…” she mumbled.

Zuko furrowed his brow. She sounded genuinely sad. He disappointed her once, and now he did it again. Did Toph feel like he didn’t care for her? That wasn’t true!...but he could understand if it came off that way. He blatantly lied right to her face. He almost wanted to ditch Ren and just hug her. But he couldn’t, he didn’t want to see Ren angry at him. 

“So...you’re here with your friends?”

Zuko directed his attention back to Ren. He nodded, head hanging low. Ren grabbed his chin, making him lookup. Those brown eyes stared at him.

“What are you doing with them?”

“We’re just having a sleepover…”

“Is that so?”

Ren paused, thinking to himself. “Well...you can still come to my place. Or hang out with your...friends. I’ll let you decide.”

Zuko sharply exhaled. This was so much pressure...what could he choose? Would Ren be mad at him if he went with his friends? He didn’t like the thought of Ren being angry. It almost reminded him of the feeling he would get while around Ozai. Was he walking on eggshells with Ren? Zuko’s heart ached at the thought of seeing Toph’s disappointed face again. The boy grabbed a few boxes of noodles. The odd sense of stress made him nauseous. Not to mention the damned feeling of forgetfulness that plagued his mind. 

“I’ll think about it.”

He went back to the snack section. Sokka grabbed a huge bag of some nasty chips and shoved it into the cart.

“There you are!” He chirped as a charming smile spread across his face. 

Zuko just nodded, putting the noodles in the cart. Sokka inspected them for a second. He put a finger to his chin. Zuko almost felt comforted by that curious face… Sokka perked up, piercing blue eyes looking at Zuko. 

“Zuko! You know me and Katara can’t eat that spicy stuff!”

Katara cleared her throat, “Katara and **_I._ **”

It all clicked in Zuko’s mind. Of course….that’s what he forgot. None of his friends grew up putting jalapeño peppers on everything. They couldn’t eat spicy food.

Zuko sighed, “Damn...well, come on, I’m sure you can handle it, buddy!”

Sokka pouted his lip, “but...spicy ramen always makes my tummy hurt…”

“I just don’t get spicy food...it’s just the flavor of pain. Why would you want that?” Toph tilted her head. She had a hint of sadness in her voice.

“ _You’re such a big baby_.” Zuko thought. But he couldn’t help but feel bad when he looked into Sokka’s eyes. He shrugged, he didn’t want to cause his friends any problems. Zuko nudged the indigenous boy’s shoulder.

“Okay, okay. I’ll get a different kind just for you guys. But when we get to your house you better turn that AC off! That living room is cold as fuck!”

Sokka smiled, “deal. Anything for you and some mild ramen, man!”

Katara rolled her eyes, “you really need a swear jar. Toph’s picking up on your bad habits!” 

Toph just shrugged, head hanging low. Zuko felt like shit. He started to wish he was like Sokka. That boy could cheer anyone up just by talking. 

“I’ll go get a different brand now…”

Zuko walked back to the pasta aisle. He looked around….no Ren. He almost wanted to sigh in relief. If the older man asked him what he wanted to do right now, Zuko would’ve told him to fuck off. He had to make it up to Toph. But at the same time...he would let Ren down in the process. Zuko didn’t know how to feel. The Japanese teenager just grabbed some mild ramen and made his way back.

“There you are.”

_Shit…_. Zuko looked up. Ren found him.

“Are you okay?”

Zuko didn’t know how to respond. His mind was telling him to say no, but it wouldn’t help the situation. He was mad at himself for being such a jerk.

“What’s wrong, baby?” 

“I just don’t feel good about well...myself.”

Ren raised a brow. “Why? You’re so beautiful~”

Zuko smiled, admiring the man’s face. He shook his head, lowering it. “I just...fucked up.”

“We all do.”

Ren lifted Zuko’s chin up. He hummed in a husky voice. He caressed the boy’s cheek. Zuko looked up at him. He could smell the tobacco on his breath as he looked at Ren’s lustful face. He smiled, leaning in closer to the boy. Zuko’s lips were parted as he exhaled the gentle air.

Ren sighed, “You look so fucking kissable right now.”

Zuko smiled, softly pulling Ren’s hand away from his cheek. “ _He’s so sweet… He deserves me-_ ”

“Hey!”

Zuko turned around. Katara was staring at him from afar, the rest of the friend group by her side. Both Katara and Aang looked curious, gazing at the older man. They seemed interested to know just why he was talking to Zuko. The boy gulped; he hoped that they didn’t hear them. They were talking quietly, so all Zuko could do was have faith that they didn’t know. Sure, Zuko was more comfortable in his skin with Ren’s validation, but he still couldn’t help but feel disgusted by himself. He had been aroused by pleasing a man...he kissed one. He couldn’t let anybody know. Especially since Ren said to keep their relationship secret. Zuko looked over at Sokka. He seemed to be alert at the sight of Ren. Some theories popped into Zuko’s head. 

“ _Maybe he’s seen him somewhere before. Or maybe he’s just surprised at how handsome Ren is. No...Sokka’s not queer. He’s normal. You’re just overthinking._ ”

Katara raised a brow, “who’s this?”

“Yeah! You’ve been acting kinda weird.” Aang chirped.

“ _Fuck_.” Zuko thought for a bit. He could technically tell the truth…

“He’s a Shaolin master I met…”

It was true. Ren was very skilled from what Zuko had learned about him. It made the boy think sometimes when his mind was blank. How could somebody become so good at Shaolin even in a relatively clanless city? He had never asked Ren about that. He didn’t even know the older man’s job. Zuko looked at his friends, not knowing what to expect. He was relieved to see there were no doubtful faces. Although...Sokka seemed different. Angry? Was that the right word to describe it? Zuko didn’t know, but he definitely didn’t look contempt. And poor little Toph still looked a bit melancholy. Zuko gazed at her, lips parted. He felt dazed, not knowing what to do. His body tensed up as he felt a hand on his left shoulder.

“So...what are you gonna do?” Ren whispered.

Zuko felt a chill go down his spine. His mind was split into two; what could he do? He could go with Ren and make him happy. He could see that satisfied grin on the man’s face, and he could feel the warmth of his strong body… He could get a smell of that strange lavender again… Maybe he should-

No. Something in the boy’s mind told him not to go. He already made Toph feel like shit, he didn’t want to let the others down. Even if his friends didn’t shower him with romantic praise, he knew that he was loved by them. It was just a different kind of love. Their smiles weren’t out of lustful fantasies to come true, they were out of happiness by his company. And those smiles were almost worth as much as Rens. Even if Sokka’s house was way too cold for Zuko to be comfortable in, he could always huddle in a blanket. A faint smile spread across his face at the thought. He felt all fuzzy inside thinking about it. Zuko felt...confident in a way. For once, he felt like there was no way he could mess things up by making a decision. 

“Sorry for keeping you guys waiting, let’s go get back to watch this stupid movie. Oh, and I’ll pay for the stuff!”

Aang shrugged, “alrighty!”

Zuko walked towards his friends. He put the ramen in the cart.

“Before you ask, yes it’s mild since you babies can’t handle a little fire.”

“Hey, that’s not true! **I** can eat spicy food!” Aang smiled, pointing a finger at himself.   
  


“You don’t do it much, but I’ll take your word for it.” Zuko leaned towards Sokka, “he’s still a baby.”

Sokka chuckled, “yup! He’s a tiny baby ball of spirituality and power!”

“Hey! I’m not a little kid anymore!” He puffed his chest up and stood on his tippy-toes, “I’m **thirteen** now!”

“He’s got a point!” Katara chirped.

“Touche…” Sokka smirked, “but that means nothing! I’m turning _sixteen_ soon! I’m gonna be as old as Zukoooo~”

Zuko shrugged, “yeah for like, what? Five months?”

“Alright you old fucks, let’s get going!” Toph yelled. 

Zuko looked over at the blind girl. Although she still looked upset, she had a slight smile on her face. That alone made Zuko smile. He looked around, waving goodbye to Ren. His smile didn’t last long. Ren had such an expressive face...it was so easy to tell just what he was feeling. And Ren was disappointed. Utterly disheartened, he gave a slight nod. _Shit..._

“ _I guess I still messed things up…_ ”

Why couldn’t he just make everyone happy? He had already caused enough damage in his past, he just wanted to redeem himself. Sure, his friends trusted him, but deep down Zuko still felt like a bad person. He had done so many wrong things, he had been so awful to so many people...he needed to make up for it here. Right? If he should be pleasing anybody, it should be Ren. But he failed. Zuko wanted to speak up, but Ren walked off before he could say anything. Zuko sighed.

They went to go pay. Katara was chatting with her boyfriend and brother. The three always seemed so happy when they were together. Zuko couldn’t help but think about how he let Ren down.

“Sokka…” Katara tilted her head, “why in the world do you have pink nails?”

Zuko perked up. “ _He does?”_ He glanced over at his hands. Sure enough, Sokka sported some nice long nails. Zuko was usually the only one who painted his nails, so it felt a bit odd. But it was neat in a way; Sokka expressing himself like that was strangely empowering.

“You just noticed?” Aang asked.

Sokka’s eyes widened. “Well uh-” he gulped, “remember when I went to go practice with my sword-fighting?”

“Oh yeah...you were with Zuko, right?”

What? Zuko didn’t remember ever training with Sokka. Besides, they had different styles of using their swords. Training Sokka wouldn’t do any good for the boy.

Sokka nudged the teenager in the shoulder, “well, you know Zuko...he painted my nails! He’s really good at it!”

“I...did…? I don’t really remember-”

“Of course you don’t! You got _suuuper_ wasted!”

Was Sokka lying?... Zuko hadn’t touched any sort of alcohol since that day with Ren. Before he could think too much about it, he felt a sting on his cheek.

Katara slapped him. “Zuko! We’ve talked about this! Underaged drinking is dangerous! Two words for you, mister: Not. Cool.”

“Whatever...sorry, D.A.R.E officer.”

Toph snickered, “good one!”

Zuko smiled. Some of his guilt went away; at least he made Toph happy. Even if he had supposedly gotten piss drunk.

After they paid for everything, Zuko drove them to Sokka and Katara’s house. He was a bit nervous on the ride home. He hadn’t told his friends, but he hadn’t gotten a license yet. But nobody seemed to notice. When the luminous traffic lights turned red, he couldn’t help but think about Ren every time. Did he do the right thing? If he did, why did he feel so awful? Zuko clenched the wheel as the light turned emerald green. “ _Maybe_ **_I’m_ ** _just awful_.” 

He felt a nudge to his shoulder. “The light’s green, buddy.”

He looked over at Sokka. Even in the afternoon darkness, he could see his worried face. But Sokka also looked...contempt. Did he know something Zuko didn’t? Zuko just nodded with a blank expression on his face.

Once they got to the house, Zuko carried in most of the stuff. Sokka helped out too. 

“When did this movie come out?”

“Sometime in June maybe?...”

“Wait…” Zuko muttered, “then...how the hell do you have it on Blu-ray already? It’s August!”

Sokka grinned, grabbing the CD from the shelf, “my friend from Speedway sent it to me. He knows some funny people, man.”

Zuko shook his head. “So basically...you pirated a movie from a bunch of shady people?”

Sokka eagerly nodded his head, “awesome, right?!”

“It’s a crime, Sokka.”

“Oh come on, you out of all people should be okay with a little pirating. You’ve committed war crimes! And worked with a bunch of felons!”

“Tch…” Zuko shook his head, “touche, touche…”

Sokka playfully smiled at him. “Come on, man! I’ll go get some blankets for you and we can watch this!”

Zuko couldn’t help but smile back. “Thanks…”

They all huddled up on the couch. Sokka popped the CD in and sat back. “You guys ready for the best movie ever?”

Aang bounced up and down, “Yeah!”

  
Zuko shook his head and glanced over at Toph. Even if Zuko had made it up to her, he still pitied Toph. She didn’t want to listen to Scooby-Doo; she probably didn’t even like movies that much. She couldn’t see or feel any vibrations to know what was going on. All she could do was hear. Zuko closed his eyes, digging in his pocket. Once he felt the tiny rectangle, he searched around the room. He smiled, seeing headphones lying around on the coffee table with all the snacks.

“Psst…” Zuko whispered, paying no mind to the brown CGI great dane on the TV, “Toph.”

“What do you want?”

Zuko’s brow furrowed, “look, I’m sorry for lying...and I’m even more sorry you have to sit through this shit.”  
  


He saw the slightest expression of surprise and appreciation on her pale face. Toph shrugged, “so?”

“Well…” he pulled out his iPod, searching for the right playlist, “I want to make it up to you.”

Toph’s surprise was more visible on her face. “Go on, keep talking…”

“Well- a little while ago I sorta made this little playlist…” he fidgeted around with the small device, “after the solstice... It was kinda-sorta- made for um...you…!”

“Oh really?”

“Y-yeah!” Zuko looked down at the floor, “I thought one day I could make up for the whole field trip thing… I guess today’s that day!”

He put the headphones around Toph’s neck, “it has all your favorites…”

“Even MJ?”

“Yup! There’s some Snoop Dogg too.”

Toph giggled, “thanks! This is just what I need to deal with Sokka’s bullshit movie...” 

Zuko snickered, “I’m sorry...”

“Apology accepted!”

Toph jabbed the boy in the shoulder. 

“Shhh! Some of us are trying to watch a movie!” Sokka yelled.

Toph and Zuko just laughed. He felt a little better. _At least he could make someone happy…_

The movie was...not that good. Zuko utterly despised CGI, and the 3D dog was just awful. Maybe if he actually knew who the strange cast of people was, he would’ve liked it more. It probably would’ve spooked him out as a little kid, but it was just too dumb for the sixteen-year-old boy. Not to mention all the errors… At least now he knew to never pirate a movie from a Speedway worker. There were times where the movie just...stopped. And there were other times where a random infomercial popped up in the middle of nowhere. Sokka would try to make excuses, but they all knew that it was just a badly made CD. It could almost be considered a scam. But Aang loved it; the idea of something like a television blew his mind. The movie ended with a sudden flash of glitches and color before the credits even came. The screen went black, and that was Sokka’s cue to take the disc out. The boy looked back at his friends. Aang was clapping with a lot of enthusiasm. 

“That was amazing! Best. ‘Movie’. Ever!!!”

Sokka laughed out of embarrassment. 

Zuko shrugged, not able to see much now that it was dark. “This is why plays are better.”

“Plays are boring! Come on, that was an awesome movie!” Sokka argued.

“I’m sure if you showed it to a bunch of 19th-century monks they would agree with you. But it’s the 21st century….I’ve seen better.”

“Hey! What’s wrong with 19th-century monks?”

Zuko just realized what he said. “Oh uh...no offense, Aang. But there’s much better shit out there.”

“Don’t listen to him, Aang! He just doesn’t like it ‘cause he’s a stuck up theatre kid!”

“I mean, I kinda agree with Zuko…” Katara mumbled.

Sokka let out a gasp, “how could my own sister turn against me?!”

Zuko smiled. “Ya know Sokka, you should get into theatre too. You’d be a great actor!”

“Awwww….you think so?”

Even in the dark Zuko could see Sokka’s smile and rosy cheeks in his mind. 

“I still don’t agree with you though!!”

Zuko shook his head, smiling. Sokka truly was something else… He nudged Toph’s shoulder.

“Huh?” She muttered as she took off her headphones.

“The movie’s over.”

“Finally!”

The group of friends continued to talk and play board games. Katara made the right decision by getting so many snacks. Toph and Sokka won most of the games, but Aang surprisingly showed them his impressive skills in Clue. They were having a bunch of fun until Katara saw the time.

“Guys! It’s eleven…let’s get to bed.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. He still didn’t know why his friends always wanted to get to bed so early. The night was still so young! He wasn’t even close to tired yet. But just like the rest of his friends, he listened to Katara. It wasn’t like she was trying to send them to bed too early. Katara just...cared. It was second nature to make sure her friends went to sleep early so they could be well-rested. Zuko respected the hell out of her for that. She was already so mature, even at fourteen.

Sokka and Katara decided to split the group. Katara and Toph would sleep in her room, and the boys would sleep in Sokka’s. 

“I’ve got a GameBoy if any of you wanna play it. I might play with it later...trust me boys, I’m gonna stay up all night!”

Just ten minutes later, Zuko heard Sokka’s loud snoring fill his ears. He almost wanted to laugh out of frustration. He was trying his best to sleep, but it was no use. Aang had even stopped fiddling with the GameBoy after a little while. He was awake and all alone. The only company he had was his thoughts. Maybe he could go to the bathroom and take a nice bath. Maybe he could snatch the GameBoy from Aang’s little hands and play for a bit. Zuko even considered looking for some alcohol or even tobacco to just relax. But he didn’t want to upset Sokka or his family. 

“ _Maybe I can go outside…_ ” 

Sokka and Katara’s house was surrounded by a lovely garden of flowers. There were so many different kinds, all beautifully gathered up in one place. His mind drifted to the thoughts of flowers… He thought of the scent of one. The smell of lavender and cheap wine... _fuck_. He thought of that enchanting velvet room. The warm feeling he had in the older man’s arms. No...he couldn’t think about him in a place like this. The boy tried his best to lure his mind away from Ren. Shame took over as he realized his mind was hooked to thinking about that bruting face. The look in his deep eyes as he went with his friends. Zuko laid on his side, getting frustrated at himself all over again. This was more nerve-racking than him forgetting that his friends didn’t like spicy food at the store. 

“ _Why didn’t I go with him?_ ” He thought, even though he already knew the answer. He wanted to spend time with his friends, he wanted to see them smile, and he wanted to make it up to Toph. That much was obvious. “ _Did I make the right decision?”_ He could’ve sworn he did. He had a good time with the group and got to see each one of them smile. Surely it was the right decision. “ _But...what if Ren’s angry at me?_ ” He flinched at the thought. Was Zuko being selfish? He embraced his pillow.

“ _What if...he doesn’t want to see me anymore?_ ”

His heart ached as he imagined Ren not liking him anymore. “Damn it!” Zuko whispered out loud. “ _Why am I so stupid? I’m such a fuck up!_ ” Even when he made the right choice he still found a way to mess up. But did he really mess up? Zuko put himself in Ren’s shoes. 

“I _f I wanted to hang out with Ren but saw he had plans...I would’ve just called it off._ ” Zuko started to wonder. Why didn’t he just call it off? Zuko just shrugged it off. Sometimes when people want something, they don’t think much. Even then, should’ve Ren been contempt with Zuko’s choice? Shouldn’t he have understood better? Zuko shook his head. He was just confusing himself with all his thoughts. Zuko was poisoning himself with hatred.

  
He sighed, going against his better judgment. He snuck out of the room, making sure the two boys were still asleep. He snuck into the periwinkle bathroom. He let the water run down the faucet and plugged the drain. He took his black sweater off, gently putting it near the sink. With quiet feet, he softly walked to the kitchen. “ _Sorry Sokka,_ ” he thought. He opened the cabinet all the way to the left. Some wine and a bath didn’t sound too bad...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my fucking goooodddd this was such a disaster to make fihhre. So some quick trivia the original plan was for them to watch Kill Bill to give it a more cool vibe but of course Kill Bill came out in 2003 so I was like "fuck what do I do now". So I legit ass just looked up "2002 movies" and one of the first results was the Scoobie Doo movie and I was just like "okay I guess we going with this". But like I think it didn't come out on Blu-ray till like October??? So I was originally gonna pretend like I didn't see that but then had the brilliant idea of Sokka fucking pirating the Scooby Doo movie. And uhhhh it was supposed to come out way earlier today but my ADD brain just wasn't having that luvs. Hope u guys liked it! Thanks to the lovely people who gave me kudos by the way yall awesome as fuck. also fun fact this whole story would've never existed if I didn't think that goth emo Zuko wasn't a completely awesome idea at 2:00 AM. Cuz like that's where the au started and then the whole thing happened with me and "my Ren" as I like to call him and I wanted to make a story out of it. So uhhhhh yeah gjfkjsdkl. Oh and another btw this took me like 20 minutes to copy and paste this from google docs I was so fucking angryyyy


	7. Mauve Carnations and Snapdragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren buys new gifts for Zuko and tells him some very special words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this chapter isn't that long compared to some of my previous chapters but I hope you guys still like it! I've been super sick and high recently so sorry if this is poorly edited my mind is just iefiofhgjio. Anyways ye hope it's alrighttt

His head was empty. All Zuko could think about was his soul, which was probably somewhere in a dark abyss. His breath quivered as he felt Ren dig into his neck. Zuko sharply inhaled when he felt the older man kissing and sucking in one place. Hadn’t he already left enough love bites on him? Zuko didn’t want to wear turtlenecks for a whole damn week, but he didn’t say anything. He was too dazed to care. All he could care about was the warmth around him. Ren was hot to the touch. Zuko always loved that about him. He was the perfect blanket. Zuko tried to drown out the sound of skin smacking against skin. Although, he had to admit it was romantic. He would’ve felt pleasure and pain if his mind wasn’t so detached. He felt a shiver go down his spine as he smelled the familiar scent of tobacco. Ren’s lips were right near his ear.

“You like that? I bet you  **love** it you little slut~”

Zuko didn’t respond. Ren tugged at his messy hair. 

“I’m marking my territory. I don’t want  _ anybody  _ else touching your soft skin.”

Zuko’s mind was still in the abyss. He couldn’t help but think about that time at the grocery store. This was the first time they had met in person since that day. Ren insisted that after such a long time that he should come over again. That little voice in the back of his head told him to doubt Ren though.

“ _ Why did he do that at the store?... _ ” He thought over and over again. 

Zuko yelped, feeling a strange kind of pain. Ren was yanking his hair like he was trying to rip it out.

“You’re not talking that much, baby.”

Zuko sighed in relief as Ren let go. He started to run his fingers through his hair as a way to say sorry for pulling it so hard. Ren had definitely brought Zuko back to reality.

“Is everything okay?”

Zuko’s breath was shaky. He didn’t know what to say. But...doesn’t any sort of relationship rely on honesty? Shouldn’t he just come out to Ren about his questions? It  _ would  _ give him some closure…

Zuko took a deep breath, “well, the whole store thing just has me thinking....”

“Oh?” Ren paused for a bit. Zuko was about to talk again, but he heard Ren begin to form a sentence.

“I didn’t mean anything by it. I don’t want you to think I was angry at you.”

Zuko sighed, “it’s not that you were angry. You just looked...so disappointed in me. I had to get drunk in a bathtub to go to sleep!”

“Really now?”

“Yeah! And then I had to make up some sort of excuse as to why my pillow was wet in the morning! It was a total fucking mess!” Zuko stopped talking, realizing how hot-headed he sounded. “Sorry…”

“It’s okay...but you don’t have to think that deep into it.”

He ran his fingers through his hair once more and snuggled closer to the boy. “I’m never angry at you. How could I ever get mad at that cute little face?”

“Tch...I don’t see what’s so cute about a face with such a huge fucking scar. It’s ugly!”

“No, not at all...it’s...actually what drew me to you. Scars add so much beauty to someone, baby~”

Zuko stopped. Beauty? That was so sweet...he couldn’t help but love it. Maybe Zuko was just overreacting…Ren wasn’t even upset! Zuko decided to let it go. 

“I’m sorry for not going with you…”

“Oh well, at least you’re here with me now. All that stuff is in the past, let’s just forget about it.”

Ren kissed the boy’s neck. Zuko smiled. “I-It feels really good, by the way…”

Ren laughed under his breath. The two enjoyed the moment. To Zuko it almost seemed perfect; he was surrounded in a crimson room, being embraced in Ren’s warmth. This was spooning...right? Zuko took a moment to think about what that meant.

“ _ Me...spooning? Or am I being spooned? _ ” Zuko thought for a bit. Whatever the hell he was doing, it felt great. Being cuddled and lusted after….somebody could overdose on such a euphoric combination. Zuko closed his eyes, picturing a perfect moment where they were kissing in the dazzling sunset, soft ice cream melting in his hands. They would be right next to a cherry tree. As Zuko imagined a loving, gentle smile from Ren, he shivered. That was when he smelled the same exact tobacco smell. 

“You’re so precious… You know, Zuko, I-” he leaned in even closer; Zuko swore he could even hear the older man’s heartbeat. “ **I love you~** ” 

Zuko gasped. He took in those words...  _ I love you _ ...they were three simple words, but they meant so much. Zuko smiled, wanting to jump for joy. He had only heard those words from three other people in his whole life; his mother, his uncle, and Mai. But that was different. Iroh and Ursa loved him like a son, and Mai loved him as a friend. But Ren? He loved him in the way he had always dreamed about. Somebody loving him romantically...that was the best. It felt like the spirit of love had blessed him, kissing his soul and promising him a life of tangerine dreams and ardor.

Zuko realized that it had been way too long to have not replied. He panicked, thinking about Ren even more. According to his concept of love, he adored Ren. He treated him so nicely and was just so hypnotizing to be around. “ _ Ren’s a fucking gift. He’s  _ **_perfect_ ** _ …I love his face. I love his body. I love the way he speaks. I love the way he takes care of me. I love it when he kisses me. I love it when he calls me ‘baby’...I love  _ **_everything_ ** _ about that fucking man. I love him. I- _ ” 

Zuko smiled, sharply inhaling as he felt Ren giving him another love bite, “I-”

He whimpered; Ren was getting aggressive with “marking his territory” or whatever. He was so dominating… Zuko took some deep breaths.

**“I love you too!”**

Ren stopped, giggling in a deep tone. It...was a bit of a turn on.

“You’re such a good boy~”

Zuko felt overly lustful. He had never even felt like that before… _Lustful_...he liked that. It made him feel dirty but _so_ ** _so_** good at the same time. The two laid there, dozing off for a minute.

Ren hummed, “you know, you’ve been such a good boy that I think I should reward you.”

Zuko bit his lip, “w-with what?”

Ren sat up, grabbing a pack of smokes. “I’m gonna go to the store to buy you some stuff. I want you to stay here though, it’s a little surprise.”

Zuko turned over to lay on his back. Ren handed him a cigarette. “Here…”

He put on a button-up. “I’ll be back before you know it. Bye, little cutie~”

He put on some black jeans, making sure he looked presentable. Zuko smiled; _ he was just so hot _ . Zuko felt like he was falling in love with Ren.

“S-see you later, uh...handsome?”

Ren chuckled, “kay.”

Zuko rummaged through one of the drawers as Ren left the room. Once he saw a lighter, he closed it back up. It had the design of a lion, and Zuko could just read out the word “Leo”. Wasn’t that a xodiac sign? Wait...or is it called a  _ zodiac _ sign? Zuko shrugged, not caring. Most people in the Shaolin clan were born in the summer, Zuko being one of the very few exceptions. The boy lit the cigarette; he almost felt invincible. It was like nothing could ruin the moment. Although, maybe a shirt could make it better. Zuko took a puff, scanning the bedsheets. He didn’t see his shirt anywhere. He shrugged, Ren probably wouldn’t mind if he borrowed a shirt. He got up, exhaling the smoke. He walked towards the large closet. It made him think of when he used to live in Hong Kong. He lived in a room just like Ren’s closet. He skimmed around for a T-shirt. He saw one that looked fairly interesting. He slipped it over his shoulders, putting his cigarette on a shelf. He was much more comfortable now. He picked the ciggie back up, taking another puff. Zuko made his way back to the bed. He let himself slump over on the bed rest. What a perfect little moment.

_ Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! _

Zuko felt his face get hot as he felt vibrations underneath him. “W-what the fuck-”

He scrambled to get up. It was his cell phone. He shook his head, picking it up.

“H-hello?”

“Is your refrigerator running?” A strange voice asked. It sounded like a high-pitched teenaged girl trying her best to sound like a macho Latino bread-winner.

Zuko sighed, “bye, douchebag-”

“Hey! Wait, wait! Wait!!”

Before Zuko hung up, he slowly put the phone back to his ear.

“It’s me, Ty Lee!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” he mumbled, making sure the flip phone was far away from him. He pressed it against his ear once more, “what do you want?”

“Oh nothin’ really. I’m just waiting for my food…” she whistled after her sentence, “and Mai just happens to be with me…”

“Oh!...Hi Mai!!”

“I’ll let you two talk…”

Zuko smiled, taking a puff from his cigarette in the enchanting room. 

“Hey…”

“Sup,” he looked around the room, looking for something to talk about, “you don’t sound very happy.” 

“‘Cause I’m not, jackass.”

His smile got wider. Mai was always playful when she called him stuff like that. “What’s going on?”

“I and Ty Lee are at this fancy-smanshy restaurant and we’ve been waiting for like....” she paused, “an hour.”

“Aw man, that shit sucks.” He snickered, “so...you and Ty Lee?”

“H-huh?”

“I mean, nothing, really…” He smiled, “I’m just imagining how weird it’ll be since I’m the third wheel now.”

She scoffed from the other line, “h-hey! Nobody said anything about….”

“The d word?”

“Yeah…”

Zuko took another puff from his cigarette. “Alright, alright. I guess taking your best friend to a five-star restaurant is less romantic than I thought then.”

“Psh, whatever.”

“Are you guys having fun?” 

“Besides the whole no food thing, yeah.”

“Well, that’s cool.”

The two continued to talk for a bit. Zuko was proud of Mai; she was always so fed up with her parents’ rules. Just like Zuko, one of the rules was no dating someone who was of the same sex. Unlike Zuko however, she never took her parents’ ignorant words too personally. She was a rebel at heart; and she was confident in who she was. Zuko thought for a bit as they were talking. He didn’t hate Mai for liking girls. She was normal for it. So why did he think so differently about him liking guys? He started to space off thinking about it. But then the giggles filling his ears caught him off guard. Ty Lee had taken the phone. The three continued to talk about a bunch of things. Ty Lee and Mai eventually just went on speaker. Zuko was happy. He blew his cigarette out halfway through a conversation. He could barely remember the last time he had a phone call with Mai or Ty Lee. Somehow, their conversation started to drift towards the topic of shitty film directors.

Mai hummed softly, “So you guys watched a movie the other day?”

“Yeah, Sokka pirated it from some shady shitlords.”

Ty Lee giggled, “that’s such a cute little thingie to do~”

Zuko shook his head, “you sound like a forty-year-old dad talking about his daughter’s best friend.”

“Well, that was super specific.”

“Anyway,” Mai sighed, “how was it?”

“Kinda crappy. But at least Aang liked it.”

“Lemme guess...was it an Adam Sandler movie?”

Zuko raised a brow, “w-who?”

“Well, ya know, Sokka’s an American boy and Adam Sandler is an American movie maker. He made Little Nicky, remember?”

Zuko cringed at those two words. Little Nicky was by far the worst movie he ever watched. He was starting to think that western movies were just doomed to be bad. 

“I-I don’t think it was…”

“Well, then it couldn’t have been that bad. Trust me, Adam Sandler’s like the worst film director out there.”

“Nuh-uh!” Ty Lee argued, “it’s gotta be Micheal Bay! He ruins every movie. Like an explosive parasite! M Night Shyamalan is awful too!”

“I…” Zuko thought for a second, “I have no idea who any of these people are-”

“Well, your father doesn’t control your life anymore and you’re not stuck sailing on a boat. So get away from that damn rock you’re living under!”

“Okay, okay…sorry.”

The girls stopped talking for a second. “Ugh, the food’s finally here.” Mai mumbled.

“Thank you for the food!” Ty Lee shouted.

Zuko snickered, “how does it look, your majesty?”

“Too...saturated. But, I guess it smells good.”

“Well, I’ll let you ladies eat.”

“Oi! We’re not done talking.”

Zuko imagined Mai’s faint smile from the other line and grinned. “Oh? What’s up?”

“Nothin’, Mai just really misses you~” Ty Lee exclaimed.

“Ugh…”

Zuko smiled, “I...I miss you too.”

Zuko looked into the hall as he heard the doorknob jiggle. Ren was back... _ how long had they been talking? _ Zuko’s heart raced at the thought of the girls hearing Ren or what he could say. Ren was promiscuous in nature; what if he said something sexual? He knew there was no way Mai would judge him, but he still didn’t want her to know about what he was. It was his secret. Zuko just tapped his finger on his thigh.

His lips quivered, “w-well, I-”

“We haven’t hung out in like, forever.”

“ _ Shit… _ ” He bit his lip, “yeah, um, sorry about that.”

“We should totally do something together soon.”

He heard Ren’s heavy footsteps approach. “S-soon?”

“Yeah! Like, go back to Japan for a little while.”

“Ooh!” Ty Lee probably perked up at the thought, “yeah! Like, go to an island and eat some sashimi, and mochi, and teriyaki, and-”

“Yeah Ty Lee,” Mai sounded happy, “we definitely should. But, let’s plan it later, okay?”

“I’m back~” 

Zuko looked up. Of course, Ren was there. He had plenty of bags in his hands too. Zuko tried his best to smile at him.

“Uhhh, Zuko?” Ty Lee asked.

“Y-yes?”

“Who the hell is that?” Mai asked.

“A...um..friend!?” He facepalmed.  _ Why did it sound like a question?!  _

“Where are you?” Mai sounded suspicious.

Zuko gulped. “At my house, of course.”

The girls paused, creating an uncomfortable sense of tension. Zuko just prayed to the spirits that they would buy it.

“Hmmm…”

“ _ Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK! _ ” He thought.

“Well…” Mai took a faint breath in, “okay. You sound like you got people to hang out with too. Talk to you later, okay?”

Zuko’s heart leaped for joy. “Yeah! Bye!”

“Bye!!!” Ty Lee cried before hanging up.

Zuko sighed in relief. He couldn’t believe that worked. He directed his attention back to Ren. He had a winsome, curious look on his face. 

“Who in the world were you talking to?”

“Mai and Ty Lee. It’s been forever since I’ve hit them up.”

“Well, maybe that’s for a reason.”

“What does  **that** mean?” Zuko didn’t like what Ren might’ve been implying.

“Not what you think it does. Maybe you’ve just been too busy for them, yeah?”

Zuko thought about it for a bit, “I guess…”

Ren carried on, “well, that doesn’t matter. I went out shopping for you.”

“Thank you! I really appreciate it!” He smiled at him.

Ren lent the bags to Zuko. “Why don’t you take a look at what you got?”

Zuko nodded, digging in the bags. They smelled like mauve carnations and...snapdragons.It was hypnotizing. He was a bit shocked at some of the things he found. Zuko never judged somebody’s fashion sense. If a guy wanted to dress girly, that was okay. Whatever. But overly feminine stuff just wasn’t him. Everything that Ren had got felt girl-ish. Striped thigh-highs, cutout mesh crop-tops specifically meant to show off a pair of tits, laced up outfits, shirts that could pass as dresses, Ren had even bought thongs! It was...strange. He looked up at the older man with a hint of curiosity in his eye.

“This all looks...really lady-like.”

Ren raised an eyebrow, “and?”

“I’m a dude…”

“Guys can wear this stuff.”

“I guess...but, it’s just not really my thing-”

“So...you’ve worn things like this before? That’s quite dirty~”

“Hey, w-wait!! I never said I tried stuff like that on-”

“So then how do you know you won’t like it?”

“Tch…” He shook his head, “I guess you’re right.”

“Isn’t it pretty?”

Zuko took a look at his new stuff. It was all beautifully made. The clothes were very expensive looking. It made him feel...nice. 

“Well, it’s all very cute looking stuff. T-thank you.”

“You know I just had to buy pretty clothes for such a pretty boy~”

Zuko felt his face get hot. He bit his lip as he tried to smile at Ren. He laughed. He must’ve thought that face was cute. 

“Well, go on, let’s put all your clothes back in the bags.”

“Kay!”

Zuko did so with enthusiasm. His heart pounded for some reason. He just felt...lovey-dovey. Sure, he didn’t know if he would be comfortable in his new clothes, but it was the thought that counted. He looked at the older man and he stared back. Ren came closer, embracing the boy in a kiss. Their fingers intertwined, and the soft bedsheets caressed their bodies. Ren was pinning him to the bed. Zuko couldn’t help but let his mind wander with pleasure.

“About what you said…” 

Ren raised a brow. Zuko bit his lip again as he looked Ren in the eye. His rugged face looked back. Zuko felt like he was up in pink smokey clouds. 

“Do you really...love me?”

Ren smiled softly. “Well of course I do, baby”

Zuko started to zone out as Ren ran his fingers through his hair.

“What’s not to love about someone like you?”

Zuko smiled, wrapping his arms around the older man. He pulled Ren in for a kiss. He had never really taken charge like that, but it felt good. Making the older man receive a naughty kiss was just so euphoric. Zuko felt all gushy inside.

“ **I love you too, Ren** .”

  
Zuko’s heart fluttered at the thought of being in love.  _ This was all a glorious dream come true. _ He adored being in “love”. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh thanks for all the support recently! I know this fic doesn't have too much popularity since A: it's super long and no way near complete and B: it deals with some pretty fucked up shit but I appreciate those who like it so far! I don't know how to go about writing the next chapter, but I'll try my best!


	8. Moody Blues Mysteries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iroh becomes rather concerned for his nephew. Said nephew is having trouble with some addictions...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy FUCKKKKKK sorry this took so long for such a short chapter fiuguif. Hope it isn't too bad tho and sorry for everyone who's been waiting. For some reason, I was just not happy with how short this was gonna be due to the little amount of dialogue but short chapters are necessary sometimes. 
> 
> Also no TWs for this but I would reread chapter 4 for this for...just a little recap hehe.

“Bye, Uncle!” 

Iroh smiled as he looked at the young man walk out of the door. “Goodbye, Prince Zuko.” 

He had never seen his nephew so happy. He muttered a thank you in the avatar’s honor for shaping Zuko into the boy he was today. Sure, Aang might never hear it, but Iroh believed that the positive energy would come his way. He sipped his tea as the door closed behind the boy. He paused, thinking for a bit. He looked at the clock. He slouched back in his fairly comfortable chair. He still had an hour or two before he had to go and work at his new tea shop. His faithful workers over in Hong Kong promised to hold the place down as he went to live in the small town. So, he simply got hired to work in another tea shop! China was a bit too far for him to just go back and forth for his job. A new job would keep him occupied with delight. The old man reached out to grab his roasted duck. 

“Hmmm…”

He noticed it wasn’t there. Iroh shook his head and smiled. “ _Dear, I’m so forgetful these days…_ ” He thought back on the day. It wasn’t very late. The clock had just ticked, indicating it was only a little past noon. A little lightbulb went off in his head. Just a couple of minutes ago, he went to Zuko’s room to check up on him. He was so proud of the boy for finally having so many friends. He always seemed busy or on the phone recently. Iroh thought back to his own teenage years before getting up to retrieve his food. 

“ _Times truly have changed…_ ”

Iroh smiled at the sight of his roasted duck on the nightstand. The room was rather clean besides the pile of dirty clothes in the corner. That nightstand was also a little messy. Iroh didn’t care though; his nephew seemed happier than ever. Although the old man couldn’t help but feel as though something about him had changed. Zuko had been much quieter at dinners recently. Maybe he was just going through some teenage issues… He went to grab his roasted duck. Iroh couldn’t help but raise a brow when his hand brushed up against a piece of paper as he grabbed his bowl. 

“Salva...tore?” 

Yes, that was certainly what the tag said. That was strange; Zuko never mentioned buying any Salvatore clothes. He could afford it, but it just wasn’t his style. Zuko much rather preferred dark and edgy clothing. Did someone buy it for him? Sure, it was generous, but why? Iroh glanced at the closet. It was mostly a sea of black. But that was when Iroh noticed something shiny on a shelf. Gold… He stepped closer to the closet to get a better look. It was attached to a fancy looking bag. Was this a Salvatore bag? The more he looked at the closet, the more he started to see things he didn’t recognize. He wasn’t trying to invade his nephew’s privacy, he never wanted to. But something just didn’t seem right. There were such familiar T-shirts next to delicate clothing he had never seen Zuko wear. Some of the clothes made him very uneasy, as matter of fact. He knew his nephew; none of it seemed like things he’d willingly wear. Iroh didn’t want to jump to conclusions though. Maybe he was seeing someone. Perhaps they weren’t harmful, just eccentric. And didn’t know what Zuko’s style. He looked back at the designer bag. Then...he stepped back, startled.

_Thud!_

A box fell from the shelf. 

“ _When in the world did he get so many boxes?_ ”

There were many looming over him. They were all on the shelf. Iroh shook his head, frustrated at himself for being so rude. Zuko’s clothes or what he did wasn’t his business. But...what if it was harmful? Iroh gulped at the thought. The boy attracted the wrong people sometimes. Zuko had become so used to being acquainted with criminals...what if he had become blind to red flags? Iroh felt a feeling of guilt fill the pit of his stomach. Maybe he should’ve been more reluctant about letting him work with such bad people. Iroh closed his eyes. He had to calm down. If something nasty was haunting Zuko, he would eradicate it sooner or later. But Iroh would deficiently keep a close eye out for the boy. He might need some help. 

Taking a deep, calm breath, he went to put the box back right where he found it. But then he froze. His blood ran cold as he read out kanji on the box. It was small, yet bold. Simple, yet chilling.

**_For Uncle_ **

It should have been comforting. But something about it made him get a nauseating feeling. He shouldn’t have done it. He should’ve just shook it off. He should’ve waited for the day where Zuko would give it to him. But...he couldn’t help but open the box up. It was an irresistible urge. “Please forgive me, Prince Zuko…”

He couldn’t believe what he saw. For a second, he felt as though he traveled back in time. It was like he was in the 90s again. He pulled the piece of clothing out of the box. His heart raced. It was the real deal...those pins, the kanji written on the back, that denim that felt all too familiar. He had touched this jacket before. He had bought it all those years ago…

_That jacket...was his son’s._

Lu Ten was a gentle and kind boy. But his fashion choice was strange… Iroh remembered buying his beloved son the black denim jacket. He couldn’t have been older than fifteen. Ever since he would never be seen in public without it. Of course, he added his little creative touches to it. He added pins and patterns as he grew into a gentleman. He was always into punk rock. Then he went to war and...the rest is history. 

Iroh wanted to close his eyes. He wanted to put the thing away. He couldn’t bear the memories flooding back to him. But he couldn’t pull away either. He felt that familiar feeling of his throat getting tight as tears started to make their way down his cheeks. Iroh remembered looking all over the palace, up and down like a sobbing mess. But he never did find his little soldier boy’s jacket. Prince Lu Ten left little behind when he left this world. But there it was...the jacket that had vanished almost six years ago. The anniversary of Lu Ten’s death was coming up rather soon. There was only one word racing through Iroh’s head.

_How???_

How did he get that jacket? He had to get it somewhere from here. How in the world did his son’s jacket end up in such a small town? Who had their hands on it before it came Zuko’s way? Iroh’s heart skipped a beat. How _many_ people had worn it throughout these six years? The thought of someone wearing Lu Ten’s handmade jacket and possibly dirtying it...Iroh hadn’t felt himself shake like that in a long time. He took a deep breath.

“ _At least it’s finally here with me again...thank you, Zuko…_ ” His breath quivered. “ _Zuko…_ ”

This all confirmed the dreadful thought on his mind. Zuko was definitely seeing somebody Iroh wasn’t familiar with. And that someone wasn’t a teenager or even just an ordinary citizen. They must have ties and connections. They must be mature and wealthy to get their hands on such a rare item. His dearest nephew…

Iroh flinched at the thought. Zuko could be in trouble that a life of war had never prepared him for. Somebody-somebody _very_ bad could be taking advantage of him. Iroh tried to comfort himself. Zuko was a smart young man, he would get past this as he did with everything else. Iroh was sure of that. But...he had to confront him. If Iroh had a chance to know anything about his situation, it would make him feel better. He could help Zuko more effectively. And that’s what was important.

Iroh glanced at his son’s jacket one last time. Zuko had planned on giving it to him...that much was clear. Iroh couldn’t help but wonder why he would wait. Then he understood why.

“ _He doesn’t know how to bring the news to me._ ” 

He knew Lu Ten was always close to Zuko. They were like brothers. The jacket must have had value to the boy as well. He would get nervous trying to give it to Iroh. What was there to say? Surely there would be so many questions and difficult things to explain. Iroh understood and thanked Zuko for his newly found sensitive nature. He was growing into a fine young man, just like Lu Ten had. 

Shedding a tear, Iroh put the box back where he found it. Then, he sneezed. It was rather unexpected and sudden. But he realized what caused it. A strong scent quickly hit his nose as he put the box away. It was...some sort of flower? Lilacs? No... _lavender_. Lavender and a hint of tobacco. He had never smelled something so bold. It must’ve come from Zuko’s clothes. That was when Iroh noticed a certain shirt in particular.

He didn’t know how he hadn’t noticed sooner. It was a dark grey shirt. But that wasn’t what stuck out about it… The shirt was massive. Iroh took it out of the closet for some inspection. There was no way Zuko could fit that… It would have been so loose and long. 

Just like Iroh in his youth, Zuko’s growth spurt hadn’t hit very hard yet. He was still rather short, and though he had bulked up a bit, he was still pretty slim. But that vintage T-shirt? That was something a very tall and muscular man would wear. Iroh was at a loss for words. He had been given so many ugly puzzle pieces to a sinister picture. 

He hung the shirt back up and grabbed his roasted duck. The old man slowly walked to the kitchen, brown eyes looking at the floor. He put his food away; he lost his appetite. He put on The Beatles in an almost ironic way to cheer up. He closed his eyes, sitting right back in the chair. 

“ _I hope you’re okay, Prince Zuko…_ ”

  
  


…

“You never fail to amaze me.” Ren chuckled.

Zuko imagined his eyes dancing around as he moved, scrambling to find his shoes. The sound of light jazz in the background soothed him a bit. It was yet another celestial time with Ren.

“Sorry I have to leave so soon…” Zuko cleared his throat, “I made some plans with my friends.”

“I really want you to stay…”

Zuko sighed. He didn’t want to feel like a piece of shit again...

“But I understand, baby~”

He sighed in relief. “T-thank you.” Zuko was thankful for just how sweet Ren was.

“Here…”

Zuko shivered as he felt the older man’s warm breath. The boy turned around to see a single cigarette in his calloused hand. He had just smoked a few days ago...doing it again would be bad for him. _His rule was once a month_. But something about it seemed so tempting. He looked at Ren. Something about that handsome face...no-something about Ren made him want to do it. 

“ _Maybe it’s because I feel so invincible when I’m with him…_ ”

Zuko smiled at the thought. He took it. Surely just one more couldn’t hurt. He nuzzled his face in the man’s warm chest, embracing him in a hug. He smiled as he heard Ren chuckle. _He was making him happy…_ Zuko dug around in the older man’s pocket. Once he felt the familiar shape of a lighter, he playfully turned around. 

“Um...I-I love you! Bye, Ren!”

“Bye-bye, baby~”

Zuko got out of the crimson room and made his way to the door, lighting his cigarette. A small buzz rushed over him. Ever since that night on the beach, he associated cigarettes with Ren. They made him feel good and were addictive. Although unlike cigarettes, Zuko saw Ren as unharmful. In his amber eyes, the man could do no wrong. Zuko swore he had never been happier than when he was with Ren. Being showered in his praise was the best feeling in the world.

Zuko pulled out his phone, dialing a familiar number.

“Yo, Sokka.”

“Heyyyy buddy!” He said in his charming tone, “so you’re coming?”

“Yeah, just for some shits and giggles.”

Sokka chuckled, “Whatever you say! We’ll be at the boulder.”

Zuko nodded, “gotcha’.”

“See ya’!”

“You too…”

_Beep!_

At that point, it had only been an hour or two since he had left his own apartment. Zuko smiled, proud at how well he planned his day. He got to spend time with Ren and would get to spend time with his friends. There was one thing about the woods that made it so convenient. It was right next to the Speedway but was on a street that pretty much united all of his friends’ streets. Sure it was a little bit of a walk, but it was worth it. The only problem was that Aang’s farm was pretty far from the charming little woods. 

Just the thought of the farm made Zuko chuckle. The boy’s people were extinct, and it wasn’t like he had parents. He had nowhere to go. Katara and Sokka had offered to let him live with them, but he declined. He loved the two, but Aang wanted to honor the ways of the monks. So when the White Lotus offered a small farm to live in with Appa and Momo, he accepted it immediately. He could have some time to meditate and reflect on everything that happened. Also, the two’s meat-loving family wouldn’t mix well with Aang’s vegetarian lifestyle. The thought of Aang living on a farm was so interesting to Zuko. Sometimes he would just imagine Aang partying with a horse on the farm. There was no reason, in particular, he just found it amusing. 

The boy yawned. The quiet streets of the small town were so calming sometimes. He loved every moment of just living a normal life. He took a puff from his cigarette. “ _Yeah, this is normal…_ ”

He found himself thinking that word a lot. He always had to reassure himself. There was a little part of Zuko’s mind telling him that something was wrong. He hated it. Surely this high was fine, what he did with **him** was fine. **_He_ ** had told him so. This. Is. Normal.

Zuko coughed. It took a little while till he finally ended the coughing fit.

“ _Damn...maybe I should stop smoking…_ ”

He noticed the silhouette of the Speedway and familiar trees. That’s when he knew he was in the right place. Which meant he would have to put the cigarette out soon. He stopped in his tracks, thinking about what to do. Reluctantly, he took another puff. And then another. With a faint smile, he just stood there and smoked for a minute. He finished the cigarette, craving for more.

  
“ _But it just feels so good…_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn hope this is as impactful as my sorry ass thinks it is. Next two chapters are gonna take place right after another btw sooo be ready for that haha. Also hope my little symbolism was noticeable. Shout out to everyone who's been supporting me btw ur all very awesomeeee


	9. Roses and Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gaang has a little mid-day picnic. But Katara can’t help but notice how odd a particular friend has been acting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy god sorry if I kept y’all waiting my computer is a little bitch. Basically I downloaded a fucking stoner mod for TS4 and it gave me a virus skeiebwkdod. The mod doesn’t even work so...yeah that’s just sad luvs x. Anyways sorry if this isnt that good, this was only reread and edited 2 times instead of my usual 3-4. Also to the guy on Discord: if ur reading this right now you’re literally insane lmao but thanks. Also ps I actually had to start a new doc cuz my old one was running slow as hell cuz I mean this is like, almost 200 pages of fanfic? Also wow,,, to everyone that’s read all of this: just know that you’ve legit ass read 200 pages of some edgy little atla fanfic haha. Anywayz, on with the chapter! No tws, it’s pretty mundane. But heyyy it takes place from Katara’s perspective because she’s cool oduenelfkfwn

She had to make sure everything was perfect. They all knew that times in the woods were guaranteed to be long and fun. Katara was _planning_ to hang out near the little pond, but Aang convinced her otherwise. What was she going to do? Tell him they couldn’t hang out near the big boulder? Of course not. Aang knew that the girl couldn’t resist those cute grey eyes. Once Aang and the siblings met up, they got to work. Aang had brought Appa and Momo with him. The fluffy bison was carrying blankets, snacks, and of course beverages. With everything they needed, Katara started setting it all up while Sokka invited their friends. 

Katara needed to work extra hard to make this perfect. Why? Because there wasn’t gonna be four friends, but five. Sokka had invited Suki to tag along. Katara was surprised at how much that girl could handle her idiot brother. She loved him, and Sokka loved Suki. Their relationship was weird, to say the least… 

Katara was hurt when the breakup happened. It wasn’t like they had a big fight or anything, it just kind of...happened. Suki needed to focus on the future of the Kyoshi warriors and her rollerblading. Sokka understood completely. His guilt about Yue hadn’t completely left, no matter how hard he tried to put it away. He started to feel like maybe he wasn’t ready for a relationship _just yet_. But he was sure to let Suki know when that day would come in case they still harbored feelings for each other. They were still close friends though. They even flirted from time to time too. So when Suki accepted his invite to hang out, he got in high spirits immediately. Katara liked that. Seeing any of her friends happy was the best feeling in the world. 

With a toothy grin, Sokka invited Toph and Zuko too. Both had accepted the offer. Katara had everything prepared; the blankets were spread out perfectly over the lush grass. The picnic foods were guaranteed to be fine with everyone. She had even sneaked in some of the finest egg custard tarts for her sweetheart. She smiled at her sneakiness; Aang had no idea what awaited him when everyone got there! 

The three waited patiently for their guests to arrive. After gazing at the puffy, gentle clouds for what seemed like a beautiful eternity, they finally started to come. The first one there was Suki. She arrived with rollerblades in hand. Katara had to admire the girl’s athleticism and commitment. It seemed like she didn’t even try sometimes. Although even Suki had her faults; she was great at applying her Kyoshi warrior makeup but normal makeup? Not so much. Katara had spent some time trying to help Suki with her struggles. And it was slowly paying off. The girl’s style was becoming more expressive; more like Suki instead of some plain Jane. 

Sokka grinned when he laid eyes on her. “Suki!!”

He tossed his arms in the air and ran over to her. They shared a hug before she sat down with the rest of the group.

“Sorry if I was late. You know how being a leader can be-”

They stared at her.

“Um...we kinda don’t-”

Her deep blue eyes widened. “Oh! Yeah, right…”

She frowned and began to fidget with her thumbs. 

“ _Poor girl…_ ” Katara thought. Suki truly did try to be her upbeat yet collected self, but sometimes her stressed soul just had to show its head. Keeping up with the warriors must’ve been challenging from so far away…

Sokka patted her on the back. After a few moments of silence, he spoke. “But I **do** know a certain someone who would totally understand how you feel!” 

That caught Suki’s attention. “Really?! Who?”

“Oh, just a little guy named…”

Suddenly, Sokka paused. He looked up and all over for- well, something. Or was it _someone_? He just stood there, dumbfounded for about a minute. The others began to stare at each other with an awkward sense of anticipation. 

He cleared his throat. “I _said_ : **just a little guy named…** ”

Suki snickered as the three watched his face contort in frustration. “Oh come on! He always walks in on a conversation at the right time!”

Even Momo was confused, giving him a curious stare as he shoved an insect in his mouth. 

“Ummmm, Sokka?” Aang whispered. Sokka leaned towards the boy.

“Are you talking about Zuko?”

The monk truly tried to whisper, but it just wasn’t his talent. Katara had to admire his efforts despite that. She couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Seriously?! You thought that Zuko would just appear out of nowhere because you said something about him?” Katara rolled her eyes. “ _He’s so ridiculous…_ ”

Sokka blushed, “w-well yeah, it happens all the time! You’ll talk about someone and then poof! They’ll just-they’ll just.”

Sokka sealed his lips shut while he was still ahead. But his graceful fumble through the conversation was enough to make Suki laugh. Sokka shrugged, smiling at what he had done. Katara and Sokka were different in many ways, but both of them get all emotional when they see their loved ones smile and laugh. 

“I mean, the four of us are like, Zuko magnets.”

**“Wouldn’t it be just the three of you?** ”

They all recognized that high pitched -almost bratty- voice.

“Suki doesn’t run into him much. But let’s see…”

She stomped her calloused foot. “One motherfucker, two motherfuckers, three motherfuckers…” Toph mumbled. A wide smile was spread across her youthful face. “Yup! That’s three Zuko magnets.”

She plopped herself onto the blanket, limbs spread out without a care in the world. “Not counting _me_ , of course.”

“ _How crude…_ ” Katara thought, wrinkling her nose at the blind girl. She loved Toph like a little sister, but just like a little sister, Toph could be...frustrating. She cussed too often, was always sloppy, and was constantly covered in dirt. Katara just couldn’t understand how she could live like that. But Toph was still an incredible friend.

“Soooo how’s that audiobook about Americana goin’?”

“The what?” Toph paused, taking in the older boy’s words for a moment before a lightbulb went off in her head. “Ooooh! Yeah, I took a little break once I hit like, chapter twenty or somethin’. Now I’m listening to this story about a badass alien cowboy who left his family behind and fights people with this funny prostitute girl!”

_Prostitute_?! Katara swore on the water spirit that Toph shouldn’t be allowed to listen to things in the young adult section. But that sneaky girl would still find her way around any rules Katara could try and place on her. She was about to chime in, but Suki suddenly perked up.

“Oh hey! Are you talking about Gangster of Love?”

“Oh yeah,” Toph cleared her throat, “that’s what it’s called.”

“Oh. My. Gosh!! I love that series! You have to tell me when you get to chapter thirteen! I promise it gets like, way more interesting! Basically-“ Suki closed her mouth before she could say more.

Katara knew she had a habit of spoiling stuff when she got excited. Suki had spoiled the first book of Harry Potter for her. _And_ the Kyoshi K-drama, and- 

Katara shuttered. It was best to stop thinking about it while she still could.

Toph gave her an appreciative smile. “Will do, Dragonfly, will do.”

_Achoo!_

The four paused. Yet again, there was a random sound. Katara picked up on the sound of footsteps.

“What about a dragon?”

Yup, she recognized that voice too. It was too raspy to be anybody else’s but his. The indigenous girl turned around to see none other than Zuko. His hair was messy and his lips were parted.

“Well, there you are!” Sokka shouted, “just like three minutes too late...” 

Zuko tilted his head, “l-late for what?” 

Sokka shook his head. “Oh, whatever...just come and sit down with us!”

He gave the group a crooked smile. It was almost charming, but Katara would always like Aang’s smile more. She still appreciated Zuko though. He accepted death for her. He was a loyal friend, and so she was loyal to him. 

He sat down, grin suddenly disappearing. 

They all rambled on about all sorts of topics; music, culture, what was on the television, even who could scarf down the most dumplings the fastest. Sokka and Toph had a long debate about who would win.

“I’d kick your sissy little ass at that shit!” Toph yelled.

Katara scoffed, about to say something. She knew how this was going to go. She would say one word and Zuko would silence her and go on about how she’s a “growing girl in distress” and how “cussing really isn’t all that bad, man” (his words, not hers). But despite Zuko being right next to her, he didn’t go to stop her. She was a little concerned. He was being awfully quiet. She cleared her throat. 

“Toph! You know what I-“

“Hey, they don’t call me Sokka the meat and sarcasm guy for nothin’! You would be _so_ dead! I’d smoke you like a dragon!”

It wasn’t Zuko who interrupted her. But her brother. He didn’t even look up from the floor. _What was going on?_

“What about veggie dumplings?” Aang chimed in. 

“It doesn’t matter, Twinkle Toes!!!” Toph yelled, “vegetarian or not, you know _I’d_ smoke him in a dumpling eating contest, right?”

Aang looked around, “well uhhh…”

Toph’s face scrunched up. “Answer the question!”

Sweat dripped down his brow. “Well- it’s just…”

The two waited for a response.

“Sokka could probably eat more, even if you could eat quicker.”

_Oh boy…_ Toph’s face exploded with anger.

“What the **hell** makes you think _that?!_ ”

“I mean, you’re just so…”

“Aang, _PLEASE_ stop while you still can-” Katara called out. But it was too late. He said it…

“ **_Tiny_ **.”

“Oh, now you’re asking for it!”

And before Katara knew it, she was playfighting with Aang. She held him in a headlock and gave Aang the most aggressive noogie Katara had ever seen. The blind girl cackled, letting him go. Aang was a little dazed, but he grinned too. His smile was so contagious…

Suddenly, Katara felt an elbow nudge her arm. 

“Do you guys always fight like this?”

Katara shrugged, “Toph fights with everyone. I don’t have any part in this.”

Suki smiled, “if you keep doing stuff like that, you’re all gonna get bad skin!”

Toph laid back on the floor. “What’s that mean?” 

Suki seemed embarrassed. “Oh! Sorry, I must sound like Ty Lee right now…”

Sokka raised a brow, “that circus girl who’s always hitting on me?”

Suki giggled, “yup, _that_ circus girl. She rubs off on people so easily.”

Aang put a finger to his chin. “Hmmm...well, I don’t talk to her too much, so I wouldn’t know.”

Thinking of the Tibetan-Japanese girl instantly made Katara think of Zuko. She looked over at the boy. She frowned. His head was still hanging low. “ _Maybe mentioning a childhood friend will help…_ ” she thought. Sure, they argued and were two completely different sides of one coin, but Zuko was still a friend. And he deserved to be happy after all he’s done. They _all_ deserved to be happy after what they had accomplished. 

“Zuko here knows all about Ty Lee, isn’t that right?”

She waited for a response, but it never came. Suki was invested.

“Wait, you’re close to Ty Lee?” She smiled, “are you dating?”

Still no answer. Katara cleared her throat.

“Hey! We’re talking to you!”

Zuko suddenly looked up, confused, and shocked. “Oh, uh-“

_Flick_!

Toph threw a little pebble at the teenager. “Helllooooo?! Earth to Panic Prince! What’s going on in that angsty little head of yours?”

“Uh…” he looked around, “what was the question again?”

Katara facepalmed. Sometimes that boy was dumber than the rocks Toph threw around…

Suki didn’t mind though. Even after their...less than ideal history, she made an effort to try and get along with him. They escaped prison together after all. Suki was patient with dumb boys as long as they didn’t underestimate her or the Kyoshi warriors.

“You’re friends with Ty Lee?”

“Oh! Yeah, we go way back I guess.”

Suki tilted her head, “sooo, are ya dating her?”

Zuko paused. It was just for a second, but at that moment he seemed to be thinking back on something. It was like he heard those words before…

“ _You’re thinking too deep into this, Katara_.” She thought. But...was she? She was just thinking about the obvious.

“Oh hell nah. I’m-”

Zuko paused once more. He put on an awkward smile, “I mean, she’s pretty but I could never share a _chick_ with like, six other guys!”

That wasn’t Zuko. Even a deaf person could tell that he didn’t talk like that. It’s like he put on some sort of mask. Katara wanted to pull on her braid. Why was he being so weird?!

“Are you like, sick or something?” Katara asked, unintentionally sounding blunt.

“Huh?”

“You know, you’re being weird.”

“I mean, he’s always weird.” Sokka chuckled, nudging Zuko’s arm. 

“I’m...fine.”

Katara leaned closer to the boy. That’s it! She knew something was off. She smelled the obvious scent of tobacco from him. Her blood boiled. First, he drank, and _now_ he smoked?

“God, you’re such a delinquent! I thought rich kids were supposed to be above this kind of thuggish behavior!”

The whole group -except Toph- looked at her, puzzled.

She looked Zuko in the eye and poked his chest. “I can tell you’ve been smoking!”

He put his hands up. “Ah well, you caught me.”

Katara sighed. It was like Zuko was trying to ruin his life! All she wanted was for all her friends to be safe and do the right thing. Yet there Zuko was, probably chugging down liquor and chain-smoking like a madman. What gave him the right to hurt himself like that? Was it just because he was a little older and therefore “could do what he wants”? Katara wasn’t having it.

“Why do you keep ruining your body? You need to treat it like a sacred temple!”

Zuko snickered, “wow, you sound like Aang.” He put his hands in his pockets, “I guess monk wisdom from your boyfriend can rub off on you.”

That made Toph laugh a little.

“I’m serious! You’re gonna look awful if you keep this up!” She crossed her arms.

Zuko nodded off for a second before his lips curled into a slight grin.

“Huh,” he tapped his finger on the grass, “I think you’re just jealous ‘cause I’ve got bigger tits than you.”

Katara jumped up from those words. **_How. Absurd_ **. “Why would I be jealous? Plus you’re-...you’re a guy! And you-”

“I mean, I just feel bad because all of the sudden I’m the bustiest in the group.” 

Toph and Sokka busted out laughing. Katara wanted to smack the life out of that boy! What did it even matter? Why was he even comparing-

“ _Ugh_.” She thought, shaking her head.

Yet she couldn’t help but smile. She was beaming. Because at that moment, Zuko was somewhat back to normal. He was back to making his snarky little comments with a sense of humor none of them could really decipher. But he still made them laugh from time to time. Maybe it was just because of the absurdity, but sure enough, Sokka and Toph were giggling like schoolgirls. Katara looked at Zuko.

It was like a fire had been lit, and normal Zuko finally showed his face that night. But almost as soon as he came, he left. Katara frowned. That fire was extinguished. 

“ _What is going on with him?_ ”

They all continued to talk. Aang’s bright smile distracted Katara from her concerns. But even with her loving boyfriend’s words, Katara was still caught in a net of curiosity. Sure, she wasn’t a Tibetan monk, but she could still sense when something was wrong with her friends. All of it just...bothered her. Zuko would seem normal for a second or two, and then he became shyer- no, more _detached_ again. Zuko truly was just a wandering soul. So when something was on his mind, he must’ve always been like that.

Their conversations went from place to place, topic to topic. Katara was happy that all of her friends enjoyed the food. They all munched down between conversations. Suki in particular seemed to really enjoy the Yan Yan. Then, her friends were talking about what they were going to do when they got back home. 

“Well…” Aang paused for a second, “I was thinking of training Momo a bit more.”

The lemur made a small noise in response.

“There were monks back in the mountains that trained their lemurs to play Pai Sho!” He looked up at the mystical clouds in wonder. “Can you imagine that?! **_Momo_ ** playing Pai Sho?” 

“Yeah, ‘cause he _totally_ wouldn’t try to eat the pieces.” Sokka snarked.

Katara scoffed. _Why were teenage boys so sarcastic?_ Aang’s brows furrowed.

“Maybe I should wait until morning though…”

“Why’s that?” Toph asked. She was plucking fresh green grass from the dirt.

“By the time we’re done, it would be dark out.”

Zuko shifted slightly at that sentence. “Wait...what time is it?!” There was a sense of urgency in his voice that was rare for the boy to muster after Sozin’s comet. 

He looked at Aang first.

“Uhhh…” he inspected the sky, “afternoon?”

It was foolish to ask Aang. He had _just_ started to use normal slang; what made Zuko think he would already carry around a watch?

“It’s like, 5:00-ish.” Sokka chirped, looking at his neon blue watch that “perfectly” complimented his hideous shoes. Katara hated those cursed crocs.

Zuko loosened up at the response. “Any of you guys gotta go home soon?”

They all either shook their heads or said no. The boy gave a little smile.

“Well, I guess I’ll stay for a bit longer. Uncle doesn’t get home till 8:00. Want me to paint your nails?”

Everybody seemed to be happy at the suggestion. He was the only one really into that, but it was a sign he cared. He always showed his affection through actions. Zuko fumbled through words too much to show his love through them. Maybe this is his way of saying “sorry for being all weird, please don’t be mad at me”. But even though Katara appreciated it, she couldn’t help but wonder about what was going on. 

**_“Sometimes I do shit like this to blow off some steam...I guess.”_ **

Was that it? Yes, that was exactly what he said that night. Those were his words at the sleepover. Zuko had taken a longer time than normal to remove all of his dark makeup. It made Sokka question just why in the world he would wear it all the time if it was such a hassle. That was Zuko’s answer. Was he... _upset?_ Katara didn’t know, but it was stressing her out. 

But he put on a smile as he pulled some nail polish out of his pockets. His face told Katara to stop worrying about it. He couldn’t have known about her concerns, but perhaps he knew he was acting strange. That’s why he was apologizing with the nail polish. Katara had taught Aang the arts of T’ai chi and he had taught her how to tell when someone was upset. Katara pondered for a bit. 

“ _What would Aang do?_ ”

If Aang was in her position, he would wait to ask him in private. She smiled as she thought about her boyfriend. Katara was going to do what he would do. It was a fool-proof plan!

“Why do you just carry that stuff around?” Sokka asked, pointing at the small bottles.

Zuko raised a brow. 

“Is it a crime? Do you want your damn nails painted or not?”

Sokka blushed, “y-yes! I was just asking…”

“Less talking, more letting me paint your nails damn it!”

Suki smiled her considerate smile, patting Sokka on the back. Katara smiled as her big brother let out a hearty laugh. 

“You’re such a jerk!” He playfully teased.

Katara felt like jumping for joy as she saw the smiles of her peers. Even Zuko was smiling. _What a comforting feeling…_ If Katara could stop time, she would’ve. She wanted to keep that moment forever. There was a genuine smile on everyone’s face. What more could she ask for?

But still, even at that moment...that boy looked upset. Zuko was hiding something... _but what? What kind of rosey secrets could that boy be hiding?_ **Ugh.** She shook her head in frustration.

Zuko tilted his head. “You okay?”

“Oh! Um, yeah…”

Katara decided she needed to let it go for now. She didn’t like all the stress it brought her. What if he was just having a bad day? Yeah, that’s probably it. Surely Zuko couldn’t be getting himself into too much trouble...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again hope this didn’t suck too bad. And thank you for all the damn support recently! It’s awesome like I freak out when I see it and all these new lovely comments wkejneke. Oh also little fun fact about me: I actually also like Suki/Sokka as a pair. Tbh I’m okay with a lot of the atla ships except for the incest and pedo ones (this fic is about a minor and adult relationship, but keep in mind that I’m not trying to say that it’s ok. I’m speaking from my own experiences and how it feels). Anyways, I’ll just leave Suki and Sokka’s romance ambiguous for the reader’s sake. So if u want to think that Sokka just gets with Zuko, go ahead! But I’m not gonna stop u from also thinking he gets with Suki. Sokka DOES have two hands after all. Anyways, I hope my personal life doesn’t delay these chapter uploads anymore lol


	10. Shades of Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guilt plagues Zuko's mind once again as he worries about what to say to his uncle. Should he ask for advice? Or should he stay silent about some recent relationships?...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyygriohgojbkld sorry I've been starving you all for like ages now. I had a tiny bit of writer's block and I needed to work my ass off on some Christmas Art. But happy holidays! I'm finally getting back into the writing spirit but just some little warnings:  
> While this fic is gonna get a LOT darker, it is starting to take a bit of a grim turn. I said so in the tags, but this isn't really the place for some wholesome ship content. Although I do plan on maybe making some more wholesome ship stuff in the future! Anyway, yeah, this is for me, a CSA survivor to cope with some of my experiences, but I totally understand if it can be triggering for other CSA survivors.
> 
> And also quick trigger warning: the f slur is said sorta near the beginning.

Midnight. Cerulean. Jade. Crimson. Amber. Those were the colors he always carried around in case anybody wanted to get their nails painted. It was a dumb, overly feminine hobby; especially for a prince. But he needed to take a page out of his uncle’s book. Tea making was  _ his _ hobby. When the old man needed to wind down or cope, he made a cup of tea. That’s a rather peculiar hobby for the one of the- no, more like  _ the greatest _ general and master of Shaolin in history. So what was wrong with indulging in theater and nail painting? It was Mai’s idea anyway. Zuko smiled as he thought back on his day. He got to see Ren, and Zuko was convinced that was a dreamland of ecstasy. He talked to his other friends and hopefully bonded with Suki as well. That was a step in the right direction. “ _ Suki… _ ” The thought of the Chinese girl made him gulp.

“ _ Maybe if I legalize weed again she’ll like me or something… _ ” He stopped in his tracks.

“Probably not…” Zuko mumbled out loud. She seemed like a goodie-two-shoes like the rest of that group (with the exception of Toph). Then, a little idea popped into his head.

“ _ What if I sell like, a shit ton of Kyoshi village products?! _ ” He thought. Now  _ that _ was an idea. People in Japan wandering around in blue silky Kyoshi robes? Or...would she want them green?

Maybe he should just leave that kind of stuff to Sokka.

But his internal debate between blue or green robes reminded Zuko of their time together. Suki and Aang were strange when it came to their manicures. Sokka and Katara got matching blue nails. Toph, of course, didn’t care at all. 

“Whatever’s closest to the dirt, I guess” was a fairly reasonable response from a blind rebel like Toph. Zuko understood completely. He was just thankful for the smile on Toph’s face when he painted her nails a jade green. She tried to play it off like she didn’t care that much.

“It just feels like a layer of dirt or something!” She scoffed with a smug grin on her face, “almost makes me forget that this is pansy shit.”

Zuko smiled as he looked back on the memory. He knew deep down she was just happy to be included in something artsy like the others, even though she was blind. But while Sokka, Katara, and Toph all had one nail color, the two others wanted something different. 

Suki had requested blue and green to not only honor her village but her Inuit grandmother as well. Zuko did what she wanted with a smile. He thought it was sweet. The girl had lived with her grandmother and mom for all of her life. Suki thanks that woman for her no-nonsense attitude she has. Suki thanks her grandmother for giving her those deep blue eyes as well. It was a sign of gratitude Zuko could respect. But Aang? He just chuckled and put a finger to his chin. “I want all of them!”

Zuko remembers raising his brow. “Uh, some of these colors don’t go-”

“I’m the avatar! It makes sense that I should have all! It’s like the four clans, right?”

He sighed, “Aang, there’s five colors-”

“Okay, so let’s just make up a clan!”

He shook his head, watching the monk think about this ‘new martial arts clan’.

“The...the glue clan! A clan where all the glue artists live together in harmony!” His playful eyes shifted around, “but then...everything changes when the Elmos tribe attacks!”

The boy threw his hands in the air. Zuko instinctively grabbed Aang by the arms to put them down. “It’s Elmer’s. Elmer’s glue…” He sighed, “but ya know, fine. If you want all five, I’ll give you all five.”

For the next ten minutes after that, Aang tried his best to convince the teenager that he said he only wanted five colors on his left hand. Aang swore up and down that he said he wanted his right hand all yellow. It was frustrating at the time, but Zuko could laugh about it now. He walked the streets as the sun began its escape from the moon by setting. He was still patient with the boy; that was the key to nail painting anyway. That was what his uncle would’ve done. Once again, Zuko stopped himself in his tracks. His uncle...he would be home by the time Zuko got back. His good eye got wide at that thought.

“Shit!!” 

He felt all the exposed parts of his neck for hickeys. There were no teeth marks, and none of his skin hurt when he touched it. He was safe. Then, he remembered Katara’s words.

**_“I can tell you’ve been smoking!”_ **

He yanked his arm to his nose.  _ Of course… _

_ He smelled like a Tobacco hellhole. _

Zuko put his hands in his pocket, defeated. He would have to come home smelling like a ciggy. He couldn’t have his uncle worry. What if he found out about Ren? What would he do? Uncle Iroh was such an understanding man, but he grew up in a time and place that looked down on people like him. Zuko bit his lip. One thing could lead to another.

His paranoid mind led him down a dark path as he trembled in that spot. If his uncle noticed the smell of tobacco on him, he would certainly confront him. Maybe even have him take off the shirt, where the smell was most certainly coming from. Then that would make things worst. Zuko knew he had a damned hickey right below his collar bone. One look at that and his secret was over. Spirits, that would be humiliating. 

Nobody who has the same blood running through Zuko’s veins should see his fucking hickeys. That was just indecent. What was more scandalous was the indications of love bites and tobacco. Anybody could pick up from those two things that it meant Zuko’s lover was a man...an older man at that. The teenager tugged at his messy hair. 

“ _ Uncle’s been through enough! He doesn’t need to know about this! He can’t… _ ” Zuko closed his eyes out of shame, “ _ he can’t know his nephew’s a fag… _ ” For some reason, even if it was just in his head, calling himself that was cleansing. It should’ve been hurtful, he should’ve blocked it out of his head. But that small indication of self-loathing made Zuko smile.

“ _ That’s right… _ ” he giggled, “ _ I’m Ren’s little faggot. _ ” He thought to himself. He smiled...his face felt a little hot. Then suddenly…

**Honk!**

Zuko jumped instinctively. He squirmed around, stumbling a little before falling right on his ass. He smacked himself in the face.  _ What the hell was that?!  _ How could he think such disgraceful things out in public…? That was disgusting! But that didn’t matter. He looked at the road, seeing the source of that noise. Some red truck. Zuko scrambled to get up. 

“ **Oh fuck off!!!** ” He screamed as loud as he could. The guy probably didn’t hear him, but he surely gave the teenager a middle finger in response. Okay, maybe he went a little too far. If his uncle saw that, he would certainly advise him to be calmer. Zuko took a few deep breaths and recalled what he was thinking about before.

“ _ Yes, Uncle...he can’t know about my secret. I don’t want to hurt him any more than I already have… _ ” He thought as he started to walk again. “ _ Spirits, Zuko, keep it the fuck together!! _ ” 

As he walked in the dim sunlight, he came up with a plan. Surely he wouldn’t be able to smell the smoke from far away. Katara was rather close when she smelled it out. Besides, uncle Iroh wasn’t a paranoid mess about safety like Katara. He wouldn’t try to sniff out some tobacco smell that might not even be there. That just didn’t sound like him. In fact, imagining his uncle with Katara’s personality made him laugh for some reason. Or maybe it was the image of Iroh with those ‘hair loopies’ as Sokka called them. It was a real Native hairstyle, but imagining anybody else besides Katara with those was comically absurd to Zuko. So absurd that for a split second, he forgot that his uncle could possibly discover Zuko’s secrets. Yup, that smile on his face died fast once he remembered. 

If Zuko didn’t run to the shower as soon as he got home, he was convinced his uncle would think less of him. He knew his uncle would always love him...but if he caused the poor man any more sadness, the teenager was sure he would have some negative thoughts about Zuko. Besides, he needed to keep Ren a secret. If he ever told anyone, he would definitely lose the older man. Zuko couldn’t have that either. He was finally adored romantically, there’s no way he could give up the taste of love now. He opened the apartment door, not looking towards the living room. He waved in that direction before trotting to the bathroom.

“H-hi, Uncle!!”

“ _ If I can keep this all a secret, everybody will be happy… _ ” A sigh of relief made its way out of Zuko’s mouth as he closed the bathroom door. “ _ I’m making the right choice… _ ”

The whole shower was a blur. His mind was just focused on trying to get that damned smell off of him. He drowned himself in any nice smelling product he had. By the time he was done, he smelled like some germaphobe’s wet dreams. He put on a tight white turtleneck he never wore. Of course, he put a black T-shirt over it. It was a weird habit to wear multiple layers of clothes. But Zuko knew he was still slender enough to pull it off without looking bulky or anything. His pants didn’t matter. He just put on some basketball shorts and some white socks. He put his hair up with the pin his uncle gave him. It belonged to his noble ancestors. It belonged to the avatar’s past life too. Therefore, it was important to Zuko. He drenched himself in whatever perfume or cologne he could get his hands on. He smiled, walking out to greet his uncle more properly.  _ No way… _

He came to a shocking and almost frustrating realization. Uncle Iroh…

_ wasn’t even home yet. _

Zuko recalled the time that had gone by. In a panic, he had miscalculated earlier. Two hours with Ren… Three hours with his friends. That was a mere five hours; Iroh was still at his tea shop. Zuko shook his head profusely.

“ _ Damn it. Damn it.  _ **_Damn it!_ ** ” He went through quite a bit of trouble and guilt. And for what? He worried himself and came up with lies for nothing!

“ _ Wait… _ ”

Zuko’s knees shook at the realization.  _ He was wholeheartedly ready to lie _ . He was prepared to lie to his own uncle without a second thought until that moment. That man raised him, and he was going to repay him by lying about what he was really up to. Lying...

_ Azula always lies. Azula always lies. Azula ALWAYS lies.  _ **_Azula always fucking lies_ ** _. _ No...he can’t be going through this shit again. Zuko was sweating, stumbling as he grabbed a handful of his hair. It was wet. He was panicking. 

“ **_Liar._ ** ”

Flinching, he blindly stumbled to his room. 

Zuko practically collapsed on his futon. Tears were rolling down his cheeks until he burrowed his head right into his pillow. And he just screamed. 

“ _ Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. Just like  _ **_them…_ ** ” He thought over and over again as he sobbed and screeched. It was purely irrational, but he tortured himself out of guilt. But screaming like that with such a raspy voice came at a price. Soon enough, he was coughing. His throat couldn’t handle yelling all the time like it used to. And for that moment, he calmed down a bit. Laying on his back with his lips parted, he remembered his uncle’s words.

“ _ Who I am isn’t determined by destiny. _ ” He told himself, “ _ I’m not like them. I won’t be like them if I stay on the right path… _ ” 

His uncle would try to look on the bright side. And the bright side was that Zuko realized what he did wrong. All he could do now was accept his past mistakes and try to do better. He smiled, rolling over on his side. “ _ Uncle truly is the best. _ ” 

Suddenly, he yawned. It was long and drawn out. For a second, he thought about how Ren would probably say something about it. He would probably call it cute. 

“Fuck!” Zuko called out. The yawn made him even more teary-eyed. “I’m tired as hell.” 

His eyes were half-lidded as he thought about the time. “ _ Yeah...I’ll have like, four hours before he gets home… _ ” Usually getting to sleep was a constant challenge. Nightmares, insomnia, and being a light-sleeper was an awful combination. But when Zuko’s body was tired, there was no way in hell he could stay awake. He’d probably pass out for a few hours and finally get some good sleep. For a second, he felt like Sokka. Sokka could always sleep like a baby. But looking at his tear-stained pillow made him think about some different people as he drifted into sleep. He closed his eyes.

“ _ I won’t let myself be like  _ **_him…_ ** ” He thought as he pictured Ozai looming over the teenager as he did three years ago. He gasped, eyes once again open. 

“ _ Jeez, I’m making mountains out of molehills...I’m fine. I just can’t let myself lie to Uncle… _ ” He thought, closing his eyes once more. For a second, Zuko thought his consciousness sounded like Ren. He drifted off thinking about that name…

……..

“ _ Prince Zuko… _ ” A faint voice called out.

That was weird. Zuko was by himself with the turtleducks. He smiled at the one he named Yoko, shrugging his shoulders.

“You guys get me.” He stated with a gentle smile. His noble robes were loose but flashy and fitting. For once, he didn’t mind wearing all red. His hair touched the water and the lilies and Yoko let out an adorable little quack.

“You guys are just full of love…” He could see the turtleduck from the corner of his eye. “Sorry for hitting your mom, by the way. I was hella young and dumb back then…”

Yoko stared at him with empty eyes. He tilted his head. 

“Zuko!?” the turtleduck asked. She had a...man’s voice. He could recognize that Japanese accent from anywhere. He screamed.

“ **What the fuck?!** ” He cried before realizing he was no longer in the calm little pond. He was right in the apartment with Iroh by his side. His uncle looked concerned until he saw the boy look at him.

“I am sorry, my nephew. You felt awfully cold and it was hard to tell if you were breathing…” He chuckled, “I did not mean to disturb your dreams in such a startling way!”

Zuko shook his head. “It’s fine, you just scared the living hell-” Zuko cleared his throat, realizing he was talking to his uncle, “I mean- uh, you just...really scared me!” 

Iroh smiled, “I appreciate you trying to cut back on the profanity, but I don’t judge. I lived with sailors for three years too, you know…”

Zuko shrugged. “Yeah...I just don’t want to give you a heart attack.” He smiled before realizing what he said. “Um, not ‘cause you’re an old gasbag or anything! I mean, you’re just such a...mellow? No-peaceful. Yeah! Peaceful old man! I mean-” He gave up. He held his head down as embarrassment stung his face. “ **Fuck…** ” he mumbled.

His uncle laughed and shook his head. “Would you like to join me for a cup of tea? Dinner is going to be ready soon!”

He looked up at Iroh. His smile was genuine, yet still concerned. Zuko nodded. 

“Yeah, just gimme a moment to wake up.”

As he walked to the dining room, he ruffled his hair. He took it out of its topknot. The smell of tea was strong and pleasant. Zuko took a look at the clock. He frowned.  _ He’d been asleep for four hours straight.  _ Thinking about his ‘nap’ only made things worse. He had basically cried himself to sleep. Zuko gulped.

“ _ If he asks anything, I won’t lie. _ ” He thought.

_ Thump! _

He bumped into the table. Whoops.

“Ow!” Zuko cried, looking at the ground as he took his seat.

“You must pay more attention to your surroundings.” The old man brought two cups of tea over with a smile. “Hm...what did I say that one time?” His brows knitted together as he tried to remember.

He then laid two humble bowls of spicy noodles on the table. “Oh! You two are too busy fighting that you do not see your own ships burning!” He grinned.

Zuko tilted his head. “Uh…”

His brows furrowed once more, “maybe that wasn’t quite it…”

Zuko scratched his head, “I don’t remember…”

His uncle chuckled, “you don’t remember? I’m supposed to be the old one here!” He took a sip of his tea. “Though, I don’t blame you. You were going through a lot back then.”

The teenager nodded, digging into his food. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke.

“I was kinda uh...an asshole back then.”

Iroh shrugged, “Do you think I was any better at your age?”

He looked up at his uncle. He had that signature smile that could light up a whole room. In the past, Zuko had always hated his cheesy ties or Hawaiian flower shirts. But now he knew it fit his uncle like a glove. He just has an aura that makes him a joy to everyone he met.

“What did we say about bringing up your past self?” Iroh asked, still smiling.

Zuko smiled back, even though he was technically being nagged. “It’s pointless; I can’t change the past. All I can do is improve and learn from my mistakes.”

Iroh gave him a thumbs up. “There you go! I couldn’t have said it better myself!” He gave Zuko a sly smirk, “well, I definitely could’ve, but I would hate to embarrass you.” 

Zuko snickered; it was rare for Iroh to tease the boy. But when he did, it was sort of funny. He was harmlessly joking. Iroh took another sip of his tea.

“But you have certainly gotten wiser, Prince Zuko.”

“Guess I learned from the best!”

Zuko ate the noodles with a smile. Being with sailors and being homeless certainly yanked the teenager away from his luxurious lifestyle. He had made noodles and a few other dishes before. Were they good? Not the best, but at least he could make edible food. Deep down, he was still a rich kid. His uncle, on the other hand, knew how to make some pretty tasty stuff. His moments of silence were interrupted by the sound of his uncle drinking more tea.

“Even though you are indeed wiser, please never hesitate to come for advice.”

Zuko paused. “Why would I hesitate?”

Shit. Zuko sounded mellow and monotone. Surely sounding like a stoned robot would draw suspicion. He flinched, remembering what he told himself. “ _ I won’t lie to Uncle… _ ”

“Some things can be shameful, and you might be scared to ask for advice.”

Zuko’s blood ran cold, and his palms got sweaty. He had cold feet. The teenager avoided eye contact. But he knew Iroh was looking right at him. 

“Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of things you should keep private...” the old man paused for a second, “but true friends and family never judge.”

Zuko didn’t want to look. He just wanted to keep his head down and nod. Yet he looked up across from him on a whim. His uncle was smiling, radiating such kind energy it made Zuko want to tear up. It was such a contrast to the boy’s dark secrets.

“You get to choose your family, after all.” He poured himself another cup, “I consider the White Lotus my brothers…”

Zuko thought about Aang and his friends and their chaotic yet charming times together. 

“Found family is great...and you are too.” He croaked out. Zuko’s voice was too shaky for him to sound casual. 

Iroh laughed, “well, thank you, Prince Zuko. You are great as well.”

He took another sip of his tea, “and that’s why I want you to ask for help when things get too stressful. No matter how embarrassed you are. I’m always here for you.”

Zuko tried to fake a smile, “t-thank you! I’ll never forget that!”

He clenched his fists. “ _ I won’t lie to Uncle… _ ”

The old man hummed, finally digging into his noodles.

“ _ I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle.” _

“ **So, Zuko…** ”

_ “I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle.” _

“ **If there’s anything,** **_anything at all_ ** **, troubling you as we speak, feel free to tell me.** ”

“ _ I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t-” _

Both his eyes widened. “ _ This is your chance. Tell him the truth. _ ” His fingers trembled. It felt like he was all alone in a dark, icy cave. He told himself over and over again to not lie. Iroh was like a torch in the cave. This was Zuko’s perfect chance to tell him everything. Zuko could finally stop doubting his relationship and get advice from somebody who’s been up and down that block. He would be able to see the light. He opened his mouth, but then he froze. There was a gigantic snake in the cave. 

**_“Let’s keep this our little secret, cute stuff.”_ **

Those words dug into Zuko’s skin like a pair of fangs. And they were venomous. The teenager couldn’t move as he thought about Ren. His face...how would it look when he learned Zuko had told his uncle? Unloving. It would ruin their relationship, and Zuko didn’t want to imagine his life without Ren’s attention. “ _ I need Ren…don’t I? _ ” He had two options. Zuko could keep the snake warm or burn it with one sentence. His mind would be clear of conflict if he burned it...but then what? Wouldn’t he be left in the dark with no flame to guide him? 

“ _ Sharing your shame will only bring Uncle shame.”  _ He told himself, looking at the ground. It was true-it **_had_ ** to be true in Zuko’s mind. A gay family member would just be humiliating. It would make both Iroh and Ren happy if he just didn’t tell him. “ **_No! What the fuck are you thinking?! Tell him!_ ** ” His mind was at war.

Zuko closed his eyes.

“ _ I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t lie to Uncle. I won’t-” _

“ **No. I’m okay right now, Uncle!** ”

Zuko couldn’t believe it. His mouth spoke when his mind wasn’t ready. He looked up at Iroh. He was more worried than angry. He didn’t show any sign of being mad, just concerned, and sweet. But he lied... _ Zuko had so obviously lied. _

“ _ There’s no turning back… _ ”

Zuko cleared his throat, “I’ve got everything under control! But if something happens, I’ll totally let you know!”

His uncle gave a sad smile. “Okay, Prince Zuko. I’ll be able to listen whenever you’re ready.”

Zuko nodded, “thank you, Uncle…”

They talked about Iroh’s new tea shop for the rest of dinner. Zuko truly tried to stay together, but whenever he talked, his hands would tremble. How many times had he sworn not to lie?  **Too many.** And what did he do?  **Lie** . He lied just like his sister. 

No, the truth was worse in Zuko’s mind. Azula might not have a scar, but she was abused by the cause of this all too.  **Ozai** ... **_he lied just like Ozai._ ** That scared him more than anything. Even though Zuko was scared, he made it through dinner.

“I’m still really tired.” He said wryly.

Uncle Iroh smiled, “that’s completely fine, Prince Zuko. I am tired too...so, go off and get some rest.”

Zuko smiled at the opportunity to leave. “T-thank you…”

As he stumbled back to his room, he heard his uncle call out something. His heart skipped a beat at the sound of Iroh’s voice.

“You better hope I don’t scare you awake again!” He laughed.

“Y-yeah…”

Shit...the tears were already running down his face. He shut his door, falling on the floor.

“ _ He’s so nice. He’s too nice! Does he even have any idea you’re lying to him? He can’t...nobody would act like that if they knew your filthy fucking secrets. You don’t deserve him. You’re just a dirty fucking fa- _ ”

He got a text. The phone vibrated on the futon. He took a good look at the flip-phone.

“ Hey cutie ”

Zuko needed comfort from somebody. There was only one person he could go to about this, and he took his chance. He frantically dialed Ren’s number. He sat on the futon as he heard a familiar voice.

“Wow…” the older man chuckled, “that was quick. Are you horny or somethin-”

Ren seemingly paused as Zuko choked on his sobs.

“Oh...oh baby, I-”

“I’m so sorry, Ren…”

“Wh-what happened?! Why in the world are you crying?”

“I almost told on you! I almost spilled our secret to Uncle…”

Ren gasped. “Y-you didn’t actually tell him, right?”

“No…”

“Promise?”

“I swear on my fucking life! But I-”

“Thanks, little cutie. You scared the life outta me for a second. You did the right thing.”

“But I lied to Uncle! How the fuck could you say I did the right thing?!”

“Awww, poor baby...”

If that were to come from anyone else, Zuko would think it was sarcasm. But those words from Ren...were comforting.

“We all lie. That’s what makes us human. I bet he lied to his parents a lot when he was your age.”

“Yeah, but he was like, a dictator back then!”

“Okay, well, I lied to my parents too. It isn’t too bad. It’s all fine, baby. He’ll understand.”

“Did you keep relationships hidden from your parents?” He lowered his voice, “Uncle never even gave me ‘ _ the talk _ ’, and I’m out here doing…” Zuko couldn’t say it out loud, “ **_bad things..._ ** ”

“My mom never gave me that talk either. I never told her about my first time; it’s completely normal.” Ren giggled. “He doesn’t need to know about me. Do you know how many lovers I never introduced to  _ my _ parents?”

His laughter took the teenager by surprise.

“You’re so innocent...it’s adorable.”

The boy smiled, “Um...I’m kinda a war criminal.” He nervously laughed, “b-but I’m happy to hear that!”

“Well, I just meant when it comes to love…” The older man hummed, “but seriously, there’s nothing to worry about, babe. We all tell little white lies now and then. Overall, you’re a good kid.”

Zuko smiled, imagining Ren’s embrace as he turned his lights off. _ He’s a good kid _ . Hearing that from Ren was amazing. 

“Thank you. I um...needed that. So, I really did the right thing?”

“I think so, yeah. I’m real happy that you kept our little secret.” 

Zuko felt a chill as Ren chuckled. He huddled up in his blankets. “R-Ren…?”

“Yes?”

“I think I **totally** love you. Like, I love you a lot!”

Oh wow. Zuko’s heart was turning into mush imagining that warm smile and loving embrace. That’s when he said it.

“You already know I love you too. So fucking much, baby~.”

He said it back again! Zuko was giddy like a schoolgirl. But, how could he express his lovey-dovey feelings into words? He cursed himself. That was always the hard part…

“ **I want to do your nails.** ”

He didn’t even mean to blurt it out like that. It’s just what came to mind.

Ren chuckled, “that’s a little weird, but okay. I’d let you paint them anytime you want.” 

“Thanks. I-I wanna do something else, too.”

“Really now?” Ren gave a suggestive laugh.

Zuko’s brow furrowed as he heard the faint noise of a zipper. 

“What do you wanna do, little cutie?”

Zuko sighed, “I know it’s silly, but…”

“I’m listening~.”

“C-can you stay on the phone till we fall asleep?”

“ **_Huh?_ ** ”

“I saw it in this new Chinese play and I thought it was really cute...and I just need some comfort. And well, I feel so safe when I talk to you!”

Ren laughed, “that...wasn’t what I was expecting, but of course I will. Whatever you want, baby. I could talk to you forever and be happy.”

Zuko did a little victory dance in his head. Ren was so understanding…. “ _ I knew calling Ren was a good idea! I love him! _ ” 

“ **But,** ” 

Zuko leaned into the phone with an uneasy feeling. He hated the feeling of uncertainty. “B-but…?” 

“I wanna take you out for dinner in exchange. I don’t care when you want to do it. If I get to take you out, I’m happy.”

Zuko giggled. “Sure! I would love to go eat with you…that would be nice.”

He was already feeling sleepy. Imagining a romantic date with Ren made him feel like a gangster of love. It was silly, but Zuko didn’t care. This was romantic attention, and that was all he could ask for. He smiled, loving the sound of Ren’s voice.

“I love you…” he mumbled, already half asleep.

  
Ren snickered, “ **_good~_ ** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hope you guys enjoyed this! Yeah uh wow I really wanna punch the shit out of Ren sometimes because he really gets on my nerves while I write him, but that's the point of him. But yeah sorry for torturing you guys like this,,,  
> also if any of you were wondering, I was going through some identity issues so I never said anything about myself, but I'm pretty sure I'm a bi guy. Anywayz enough about me. I headcanon Suki as having a lil water tribe in her because of her eyes and Kyoshi Island's fondness for the color blue. And also I don't actually know Suki's canon family life so I just kinda gave her one I thought would be fitting.


	11. Diamond Dates and Dazzling Daddies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko is in love with Ren, but he's having a hard time controlling some desires. Little does he know, he's not the only one...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking hell wow this took forever I'm so sorry. I've been hella busy with school and also I just got a new house. Yayyyy I'm like borderline rich now instead of being borderline poor so hopefully, that'll put me in a better headspace. But yeah fun fact I finished editing this instead of doing my homework or sleeping, soooo I hope you guys enjoy.
> 
> Just a head's up though; again, this is kind of where stuff gets a little dark. I actually had to take some breaks from writing it because some of it is just a little disturbing. Also, this is an explicit rated fic; this chapter gets a little graphic. Let me know how you think; I hope it was worth the wait!

The lights radiating from the city were hard to ignore. Bold, flashy, possibly even comforting. But the extravagant lights weren’t what Zuko was looking at. Neither were the cars that passed by as the loud sound of 80’s rock filled his ears. For some reason, he was focused on the more obscure details of the area as they zoomed by.

With the dim glow from the headlights, the grass looked like something out of a painting. They were driving so fast that everything on the highway looked blurry if Zuko stared at it long enough. Perhaps it was always the small things that made him think. What else was he to do? It was always so much easier to just sit and think. It was easy to let his mind wander into nothingness. Maybe he developed that habit at sea? Or was it earlier when-

“ **_Hey_ ** .”

Zuko jumped before feeling a warm hand burrow in his hair. He blinked a few times.  _ What was he doing again? _ He looked up at the driver for some answers. Ah, now he remembered.

With one hand on the wheel, Ren leered.

“You scare me when you doze off to wonderland like that…”

Zuko felt his face get hot. “S-sorry! I just get so…”

Yeah, he had cold feet; or maybe that was an understatement. This wasn’t strolling around the mall, and it definitely wasn’t sucking off some stranger in an empty park. Zuko was going to the fanciest restaurant in the area. There would be plenty of time to talk, but Zuko couldn’t think of anything they could talk about! He would be beyond embarrassed if they spent the whole time in silence. Just thinking about it all must’ve made him space out.

“I get so nervous sometimes…”

Ren snickered, “nervous, eh? That’s cute.”

Zuko looked at his boots.

“Here, I know something that’ll help you relax.”

The city lights were suddenly out of sight. The whole area seemed to change as they drove farther and farther. There were hardly any cars, and Zuko noticed more and more grass. Zuko looked towards the older man as he pulled to the side of the road.

“What are you doing?”

Ren hummed; “wanna know the best thing about living here?”

Zuko took a minute to think. “Well, there’s a lot of cool stores.”

“You really are a strange one…” He laughed before lighting a cigarette, “well, for me, it’s a little different. This truly is one of the only places with the liveliest city streets and the most tranquil country roads.”

The boy nodded, “I see…”

“And our small little town is the heart of it all…”

Zuko looked up at Ren. He was smiling as he spoke. It was a handsome smile, but intimidating when he took a puff from his cigarette. 

“Isn’t that amazing, Zuko?!”

He couldn’t help but blush. Ren truly was a fucking weirdo. Yet, he said everything with such confidence and radiance. Zuko was entranced whenever he spoke with such passion. It would be nice to feel even a fraction of that confidence for himself. He convinced himself that he fell in love. “ _ He’s more dazzling than any city or countryside… _ ” 

“It’s nice. But...why are we here?”

“Follow me…”

Ren got out of the car, quickly walking over to open the door for his date. Damn...seeing Ren so nicely dressed in a field lit by nothing but the young moon was beautiful. It all felt like a dream.

“Come on, baby.”

Zuko snapped out of his daze. He embraced the early September air as he stepped outside. His hand intertwined with the older man’s. His heart throbbed as Ren guided him. It was like something from a movie. Such a sweet, savory memory would surely be replayed in Zuko’s head over and over again. It was practically a scene from one of his love-drunk fantasies. 

“Here we are~.”

It shouldn’t have been a big deal. In any other context, it would’ve just been a mediocre place to get wasted to Zuko. At first glance, it didn’t seem particularly special. But in Ren’s presence, it was sublime.

The moon was nice that night. She shined like a crazy diamond, providing a perfectly dim light. The moonlight drew Zuko’s attention to a mesmerizing tree. The leaves were pale, covered in delicate flowers. It was absolutely massive; standing out like a sore thumb. Zuko must’ve been too entranced with his date to notice it earlier. But now, it stood front and center in his mind.

“Take a seat, baby.”

The place just kept getting more and more infatuating. So caught up in the tree’s elegance, the teenager failed to notice its fallen brother. 

A single tree stump stood near the giant tree. It was wide enough for a couple to sit on. And now, Zuko had the whole picture. The place must’ve had such a deep history. Truly its romantic appearance told a vague, yet beautiful story. Zuko sat next to Ren. He could get lost in those bronze eyes…

His heart raced. Ren was looking at him, cigarette hanging out of his mouth ever so subtly. He had nice lips.

“I’ve got a better seat for ya’.” Ren patted his lap. 

Zuko laughed. “ _ Hot… _ ”

He took the offer with a smile. Climbing right on his lap, he felt a rush of euphoria. Nothing could be better than what he was experiencing. The older man’s thick thighs felt better than any throne. A refreshing breeze brushed up against Zuko’s skin. Ren nuzzled his mouth on his slender neck. He puffed out a cloud of hypnotizing smoke near the teenager’s face. It should’ve been uncomfortable. Just half an hour ago, Zuko would’ve just blushed and squirmed. But he did none of that. Instead, he sat there with a wide smile. In that quick moment, Zuko felt all of his lover’s confidence for himself. It was everything he could ever want; arousing, grand, beautiful, intense. 

Ren kissed a tender spot on his neck. Zuko bit his lip. But...he felt something brush against his mouth. It was Ren’s cigarette. Offering him a ciggy while he was getting high off of a divine lover’s passion? “ _ Don’t mind if I do… _ ”

Ren bit down on his pale skin as he took a puff. It startled the boy, but it just made him happier. Zuko held the smoke in for an oddly long time. After what seemed like a perfect eternity, he puffed in out of his nose. For some reason, Love Amongst the Dragons popped into his head for a split second. But Ren’s love bites brought him back to reality.

“You’re totally trying to gimme a boner right now…”

Ren ran his fingers through Zuko’s hair. “Is it working?”

The teenager blushed; “I...okay, yeah, maybe a little bit.” He giggled, positioning himself to be more comfortable and warm, “gosh, you’re so dirty for all of this…we have a dinner to go to, ya know.”

Ren whispered in a husky tone, “what if I told you I brought you out here for an innocent reason?”

“Bullshit…”

“No, really! Just watch…”

And on cue, Zuko noticed small lights out in the field. There was one...then another, and another. Eventually, the whole field was dancing around with these little lights.

“Woah…” he was in awe. “W-what are those?”

“Fireflies, little cutie.” Ren chuckled, “you’re tellin’ me you’ve never seen a lightning bug?”

“I uh…” He fidgeted with his thumbs, “I forget.”

Ren planted a kiss on his neck. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Zuko looked at all the little bugs and their humble lights. The sky was painted with alluring stars. The night sky was young, yet a captivating mix of blues and purples. The tree’s pretty leaves and flowers littered the lush fields of grass. Beautiful was an understatement. If he was a poet, Zuko would try to explain it all with a fancy tongue. But...he couldn’t even form a proper sentence sometimes. So what did he say?

“I love it...it’s super hot.”

_ Nailed it. _

“I kind of like this…”

Zuko tilted his head, “just a little while ago you were praising this place. What do you mean ‘kind of’?”

“No, not that.” He kissed his neck again, “ _ this _ side of you…”

Blood rushed straight to the boy’s face. “R-really?”

The thought of someone liking any side of him made Zuko blush. He could overdose on simple praises if they were a drug. Broken self-esteem is a deadly disease.

“Yeah...it’s a little hard to get you like this, but it’s worth it.”

Zuko didn’t even know what made ‘this side’ of himself any different from any other side, but he didn’t care. It was obvious that the teenager had become dependent on Ren. He chased after that smile of approval whenever his mind went empty. It was nice to know Ren put in the effort to see Zuko’s best; it reassured him. His breath quivered as Ren dug his teeth into his neck.

“You know...you were kinda like this when we fucked, too.”

It was embarrassing, but he moaned when he remembered. He was humiliated; getting all lustful as he thought about that dirty time. He tried to focus on the fireflies to take his mind off of those memories before he got hard. A part of his mind wanted to keep going; he wanted to make out and fuck right there and then. But the majority of his consciousness told him to knock it off. Zuko was thankful though; life had never felt so surreal. So, he leaned into Ren’s chest and rested for a few moments.

“I love you. I think I’m addicted to you.” He snickered, “holy shit, that sounded so fucking stupid…”

“No, no. That sounded ‘super hot’.”

Zuko laughed, “hush…”

“I have a question, though.”

“Hm?”

“Are you addicted to this cock?~”

“Pfffft-” He giggled, pushing himself away from the older man, “what kind of question is that?”

“I just wanted to hear you laugh more, that’s all.”

He snuggled against Ren’s chest. He was so charming...what could Zuko even say in response?

“I’m glad we came here.” Ren put out his cigarette as he spoke.

“Me too…”

Zuko admired the fireflies for a few moments. If the situation wasn’t so erotic, he could’ve fallen asleep.

“I’d say your nerves are calmed, yes?”

It all clicked. Ren gave him another kiss on the neck. Zuko looked down at the ground. The scene was impossibly romantic, but…

“This was all just to make me calm?”

Ren tittered. A chill made its way down Zuko’s spine. 

“Of course it was, cutie. I need this to be perfect for both of us.” He played with the boy’s hair as he spoke, “I can’t have my baby be all anxious on such an important day, can I?”

“ _ No way… _ ” His face was hot with lust. The thought of someone caring so much about Zuko that they would set up such an amazing atmosphere  _ just _ to make him relax...was enough to make him throb in excitement. “ _ This attention...fuck, it’s perfect _ .” 

The idea of someone like Ren loving him was heart throbbing. He was a mess of giggles and oddly sensual noises. It’s what he always wanted. Validation from an older man...it was scandalous. He knew the cause of his desires, but he didn’t care. How could he care when someone like Ren was giving him so much attention? The teenager moved around on Ren’s lap so he could straddle him. Ren’s face showed signs of curiosity, but he still had a strong and knowing expression. It was perfect.  _ Fucking perfect _ . He kissed the older man. 

Strong, passionate, but way too desperate. That didn’t matter though. Zuko’s heart was racing and his brain was mush. He was acting on nothing but dark instincts. He pulled away, still straddling Ren. He was panting with a flushed face. His arms were wrapped around Ren’s neck. He gave Zuko an ominous smile.

“Well, let’s get going.”

Zuko finally realized what he was doing. He let his deep desires control him for a cheap thrill…

“How shameful of me…” He hopped off Ren’s lap. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

Ren stood up with a loving expression, “don’t be. I like it when you’re not nervous.”

Zuko hugged the older man. “Thanks, I needed this.”

The car ride was peaceful. The lights from the lively city were still hard to ignore as they came back into view. And so were the cars. And also the booming 80’s rock songs. But what was Zuko focused on? Surely not the small details of their surroundings. No, what he was thinking about was much greater than any flashy environment. He was thinking about Ren. The ride was still quiet, but the silence was different. 

He wasn’t disassociating at all. There was no barrier between the two like there was before. Their shared silence was the best thing for both of them. Any more praise from Ren would just turn the two on. More arousal was the last thing Zuko needed. The loving embrace of quietness could cool his libido down in a comfortable way. It was all so masterfully planned. 

“ _ Getting me all fired up right before cooling me down. Fucking awesome. But I want more...does he know that? _ ” He looked at the older man’s face before smiling to himself, “ _ what a tease! He’s amazing! Ren’s perfect...so fucking perfect _ .” 

Although Zuko’s thoughts of his date could get perverted, it was all innocent in nature. Sexual fantasies rarely crossed his mind while he was in the car. His imagination was caught up in the idea of the upcoming dinner. Surely it would be impossibly romantic. Just the idea of a dinner date made him blush. Zuko was hypnotized by the thought of Ren.

“ **Babe~.** ”

He jumped. Zuko didn’t notice the car stopping or even Ren’s fingers in his hair. He looked up at the older man. His face was sultry; lips parted in a smug yet sophisticated smile. Zuko’s eyes wandered towards the sight in front of them. 

It was the definition of bougie. A lavash five-star restaurant with a small, luxurious fountain front and center. The building was surrounded by fussy outdoor furniture. Beautiful high-classed people filled the outside seats as they ate gourmet meals. It was something Zuko hadn’t seen since he got banished. For a moment, he felt like a kid again. Was he standing in a scene from the past? Ren’s hand on his shoulder answered that question quickly.

“What do you think? I know it’s probably modest compared to some places you’ve been.”

“It’s…” Zuko had to stop himself from being sappy. He took a deep breath before continuing, “it’s the best I’ve seen in a long time. It’s like I’m back home and everything’s okay again.”

Ren chuckled, “glad you like it. Come on, let’s go inside.”

The interior was just as nice as the outside. It was a sea of fancy decorations and detailed art on the walls. They didn’t have to wait a second before being seated. Ren had reserved a table with the perfect view of the outside garden.   
  


“You went all out…”

“Of course. A cutie like you only deserves the best~.”

Zuko blushed as a saxophone solo started. He tilted his head, looking for the source.

“No fucking way…” he mumbled, “this place even has a live jazz band?!”

“Pretty crazy, huh?”

“Y-yeah…”

The restaurant was strangely classy compared to the small town right next to it.

“I actually met my first love here. Damn, how long ago was that….?” He paused, “1971, I think.”

“Damn-” Zuko stopped while he was ahead.  _ He’s old _ . It was very strange to imagine Ren ever being Zuko’s age. The thought of a teenaged Ren thirty years ago was certainly a pleasant one though. 

“Tell me…” Ren’s voice was deep with lust, “am I your first?”

“Um-”

“Lover, I mean. Obviously, you have experience with _ other _ things.”

“I mean yeah, you’re my first  _ actual _ date.”

“‘Actual’?”

“Yeah, there was this old friend…” Zuko’s face got hot as he thought back on a memory from the past; he fidgeted with his thumbs, “one night...we made out while he called me slurs.”

Ren chuckled, “how charming. How old was he?”

“We were about the same age...he might’ve been a little older.”

They continued to talk about various topics. Things they loved about each other, strange dreams, the 90’s; Ren even talked about different avatars.

“I would love to meet Kuruk.”

Zuko shrugged, “Knowing one avatar is good enough for me.” He shook his head, “mine can be quite a handful…” he muttered.

“Avatar Aang is a Tibetan monk, yes?”

“Yup. He’s from the mountains or some shit. He’s as old as fucking dust too.”

Ren raised a brow, “isn’t he a child?”

“Well, yeah, but he’s also old. It’s weird…”

Ren nodded. Suddenly, a pretty dark-skinned lady made her way to the table. “Hello! I will be your waitress tonight; what can I get you two?”

“Ah, do you know what you want?”

“Hm…” Zuko skimmed over the menu, “I’ll have shrimp with vermicelli and garlic.”

“Nice choice! What about you, sir?”

“Sashimi is fine, thank you.”

“Alrighty! And what would you guys like to drink?”

“Wine is good, right, baby?”

That made Zuko’s face hot. “ _ He called me baby right in front of a stranger… _ ” Zuko paused for a second, looking at his boots. He smiled, “yeah...wine is fine.”

The waitress raised a brow, but she didn’t ask questions. “A-alright! You two enjoy your night!”

Ren snickered, “oh, we will~.”

She walked away in a hurry. Zuko nervously laughed, “don’t you think we went a little far?”

“Oh, they don’t care. She won’t even remember it by tomorrow.”

Zuko nodded. He bopped his head to the funky beat of the jazz. Suddenly, the music stopped. A man’s voice abruptly filled the room.

“The next song we will be playing is very important to us. Composed right in this town, we present  _ Miss You, Loverboy, _ made by the lovely Amaya Miumi!”

“‘Amaya Miumi…?’” Zuko scratched his head, “that sounds...oddly familiar. Have you heard of her?”

………….

“ **Hey, Ren.** ”

Ren gave the boy a sharp look in response. Even he dozed off occasionally.

“No, I don’t think I’ve heard that name before…”

Zuko shook his head with a little frown. It was cute. “Damn! This is gonna bug me all day!”

That happened to him a lot. He would forget something, and then it would be in the back of his mind for a little while. Sometimes the boy tortured himself over his hazy memory. Ren chuckled. Zuko blushed in response; he most likely thought his cute behavior was the reason for the older man’s laughter. That made him want to cackle, but he refrained himself.

“ _ No, no, Zuko. That isn’t it. _ ” He thought, addressing the boy in his head, “ _ it’s just… _ ” his smile grew wider, “ _ You have no idea that I know why you recognize that name. _ ”

Ren had lied; it was easy to do with someone like Zuko. “ _ Of course I know Amaya. How could I forget my beloved tragedy of a _ **_friend_ ** _? _ ”

Unlike Zuko, Ren always had a reason for spacing out. He was simply recalling beautiful memories from the past…

He always remembered the winter of 1993 well. He was thirty-seven at the time, while his twenty-four-year-old sister had just graduated college. She was a history major who studied abroad in Japan. It was crucial for her to see the hundred-year war for herself. The same war their grandparents fled from so many decades ago. But when she arrived back home, she brought a friend.

Ren could never forget the moment that slender woman walked through the door. Amaya Miumi...a teenage musical hippy who was fleeing the war. Out of sympathy, his little sister took her back home. Anybody in the family would after hearing grandfather’s war stories-

_ Ah, the waitress was back with the wine. Ren took a sip, appreciating the silence as he recalled it all one more time. _

Yes, when Amaya walked through that door, she and Ren immediately connected. She was only sixteen, but wise beyond her years. Countless nights were spent doing nothing but talking to that woman. Hell, Ren started 1994 with a phonecall about the noisy man he just had sex with. That’s when Amaya revealed something to him.

“You have so many lovers....” she mumbled, “but...I have a boyfriend too, you know.”

Ren smirked, “you do? When did that happen?”

“We’ve been together for a long time now. Before I left Japan…” she giggled, “but you won’t believe who this guy is!”

“Oh? Just who is this handsome stranger?”

“The Dragon of the West’s son!”

Ren raised a brow, “wait...wouldn’t that make him royalty?”

“Hell yeah, it would!” She nervously laughed, “but hey! I’m not a gold digger or anything. He just told me tonight. His eyeliner totally makes him unrecognizable!”

“Uh-huh…”

“But...he told me prince Iroh is allowing him to visit me this summer! Isn’t that crazy? You guys are gonna meet  **royalty!** And said royalty is my motherfucking boyfriend!”

Ren awaited the summer with patience after that talk. He wasn’t expecting anything too great, but he wanted to say he met a prince. But when summer came...everything changed.

He wasn’t expecting to react the way he did. Just a day after his birthday, the boy came. Ren was in awe...he was amazing. Like when he saw Amaya, something instantly clicked. Maybe it was those eyes-no, that was definitely it. Those amber eyes looked so powerful; full of life and fiery ambition. But there was something else too. It was barely noticeable, but there was certainly a hint of doubt. Self-doubt; deep down, the boy had little confidence. He was a glorious sight. And that was where Ren’s obsession began.

“ **R-Ren…?** ”

_ Shit _ . He must’ve dozed off for too long. Zuko looked at the older man with curious amber eyes. That same amber. Ren gave him a crooked grin.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about how cute you are~.”  _ Another lie. _

But the boy bought it, blushing and smiling. He began talking about something. Ren couldn’t care less though; he was just getting to the good part of his memories. The jazz-no, **_Amaya’s love song_ ** was the perfect thing to accompany those diamond days. 

They all spent a few nights together. Despite only being sixteen, Lu Ten loved to party. A couple of drinks here and there with some punk rock playing was his perfect paradise. He would hold Amaya to his chest as he rambled about things he loved. The boy was good at talking, like a true prince. Ren would look at the happy couple and wish he could hold Lu Ten like that. He wasn’t particularly attractive, but he made the older man feel some kind of way. When he would fuck some guy his age, he would imagine those random guys being that boy. One mid-July day, he finally had his chance to get closer to Lu Ten.

“Babe, you won’t believe it!” Amaya ran up to her lover, embracing him in a warm kiss. Ren imagined himself in the teenaged girl’s place.

“What’s going on, darlin’?”

She danced around, waving her hands in the air. “Those guys over there are the owners of this place.” She pointed to a group of middle-aged Italians, “they heard some of my work a few days ago and want me to play some stuff here!”

Lu Ten’s eyes lit up. “Damn, some rich white guys want  **_you_ ** to start playing  **_here?!_ ** ” He pulled his sweetheart into a loving embrace, “that’s so badass! You’re a jazzy little Betty!”

Amaya broke out in laughter, “and you’re a fucking dork!” She brushed off her dainty white gown, “well, I gotta go talk to them and stuff. Don’t you dare leave me, loverboy!”

“Oh, I’m staying right here!”

She ended up taking a long time. Lu Ten had already gone through a few high-sugar drinks. He waved to the siblings before excusing himself to the bathroom.

Ren’s face became hot just thinking about it. He looked at Zuko’s eyes in an attempt to relive the memory even more….

But yes, that was Ren’s chance to pursue the prince. After a couple of minutes, he excused himself too. He walked in as Lu Ten was drying his hands. He looked up at Ren and smiled.

“You and Amaya...well, you guys truly are an item.”

“Damn right we are! I think she’s the one, dude. Do you know how lucky I am? I’ve found my lady at such a young age!” He gave the older man a bright smile. Ren smirked right back at him. “I’m sure you have a lady as well, yeah? Do you have a special someone too?”

Before Ren could even respond, Lu Ten patted him on the back with the passion only a spunky teen could pull off. “Come on, man, spill it! We’re both guys here, let’s talk about who we love!”

Ren laughed. His face got hot as he saw the boy look at him with such a ferocious curiosity. 

“Lu Ten...my, you truly are something else!” He stroked the boy’s cheek. “That’s why I’ve fallen for you. You’re a hot piece of ass. No, you’re...you’re so much more than that!”

He pinned the prince against the wall. “You’re the most powerful person I’ve ever met! You’re glorious, beautiful, just...so fucking perfect!”

Ren got a boner when he saw that his talk worked. Lu Ten was left in a state of shock, blushing, looking touched by his words. He had never been so validated like that, Ren was sure of it. Lu Ten lacked self-esteem for one reason or another, and Ren would build it up. Surely then, the prince would fall for him too. It looked like he already had. Ren leaned in to kiss him, _ but that’s when it happened…. _

“ **I am truly honored, but I don’t feel the same way.** ”

Ren paused, looking at the boy. His face was no longer flushed, going back to its original pale color. He had the politest smile Ren had ever seen. His gaze was haunting; so nice yet somehow intimidating all at the same time.

Ren grinned to mask his shock, “what’s wrong, don’t swing that way? Do ya’ hate the gays?”

Lu Ten laughed, “Of course not! While it’s true I don’t really see dudes like that, I wouldn’t be caught dead hating gay people!”

Again, he gave that smile, “there are certainly some in my country, it would be wrong to hate them. What kind of lord would I be if I hated my own people?”

Ren chuckled, “oh my...you...you make me wanna explode~.”

He grabbed Lu Ten by the cheek, attempting to force him into a kiss. But then…

“ **As a leader, wouldn’t ya’ say it’s my life goal to do what’s best for my people?** ”

Ren pulled back. He didn’t understand it. “ _ What the fuck is wrong with him? I have him pinned against a wall, and yet- _ ”

“ **But, for a lord to do what’s best, he himself must be in a good headspace.** **_Do you wanna guess what that means_ ** **?** ”

Ren was beyond aroused by that point. Ren could easily overpower him at any moment, but he was perfectly calm. Calm was an understatement; he was casually rambling about what he loved most: his nation. It was incredible to witness. Ren giggled, “n-no, please tell me!  **Please** just keep talking~!”

“Alright, I’ll tell you.” He looked up at Ren with a cold stare, “it means I, a future lord, must not only do what’s best for my people but also do what’s best for me.”

He smiled, “That’s why I do the shit I do. Music and partying is the perfect way to have fun without bothering anyone. And in return, I expect people to have fun without disrespecting me.”

Ren gulped, unzipping his pants. He had to jerk off. Lu Ten’s cold stare got more intense, yet his smile got more polite. 

“I see you’re having a very fun time….I’m happy for you. But I’m almost offended right now.”

Ren moaned as the prince told him off. A normal person would be filled with dread, but all it did to Ren was heighten his lust.

“I tell you about my lady, who’s YOUR best friend. I express how happy I am; how I think she’s my soulmate. And what do you do?” The boy snarled before putting his smiley mask back on. “You try to seduce me. You pin me against the wall and try to make out with me. You’re fully ready to forcefully strip me of all my honor and dignity. Do you take me as a fucking joke? Do you take  **_her_ ** as a joke too?! We trusted you, and look at how you repay us…”

Ren bit his lip, stroking furiously as he looked at those eyes.

“This behavior is just...not very respectful. So, kindly stop; I will not allow you to have fun at my expense. At  **_her_ ** expense…” His face burned with rage. But then he smiled once more, “I would greatly appreciate your cooperation.”

_ Splat! _

He climaxed all over himself. Ren’s face got hot with a burning desire, realizing some had even gotten on Lu Ten. That was the best orgasm he ever had. The prince barely reacted.

“I’ll give you a moment to...clean up.” He grabbed a paper towel, drying his own pants. He adjusted his signature jacket and walked out of the bathroom.

Ren’s lips curled at the memories. The jazz, the liquor on his lips, those unsure amber eyes….it truly was the most euphoric paradise Ren could ever imagine. A golden experience to accompany such promiscuous memories. Ren raised a brow as Zuko’s lips stopped moving. He held his head down.

“S-sorry...I’m rambling about theater again.”

_ So that’s what the boy was talking about. _

“No, no, it’s fine. I love to hear you be so passionate.” That was almost a lie; but in the end, Ren couldn’t help but love it when he talked.

He thought about the life of a prince. Before Zuko got banished, he surely had to live a life of luxury. Ren was infatuated with the idea of royal life. He decided he wanted to hear about it.

“You were first introduced to theater as a child, yes?”

Zuko drew back for a second. Perhaps the memories made him emotional. “Y-yeah…”

“Say…” Ren took a drink of his wine, the taste blessing his mouth, “tell me, how was life as a noble?”

The boy froze. He looked at the ground, recalling his life with a type of shame. Ren tried to hide his smile. That look of doubt...it was just like _ his _ . Although it was cuter, Zuko had a more boyish, feminine appearance. He looked so melancholy at that moment, but Ren didn’t care. He was after that look in Zuko’s eyes.

“Well, everything was happier back then. I was sort of ignorant to the horrors of the war, ya’ know?”

Ren nodded. “ _ My, Zuko...you truly are strong. _ ” He masked his smile with a look of concern, “ _ Instead of telling me you aren’t comfortable talking about it, you stand your ground. You talk about your past with such...power! It’s incredible! _ ” He thought about Zuko’s determination as the teenager continued to talk.

“I got to experience so much…” He gave Ren a faint smile, “back then, I could’ve seen any play in the world.”

  
  


Ren smiled back, “you’ll be able to do that again one day.”

Zuko looked at his glass of wine, “yeah…”

It was also nice to see him happy. But the boy had been damaged, burned, and abused. His smile could never be as bright as Lu Ten’s. 

Ren noticed him fidget with his hands. He seemed a little sheepish. Then, he blew a shy kiss at the older man. Ren raised a brow, “flirty, are we?”

He laughed timidly, “w-well...I’m just grateful that I have you.”

“Aw, I love you too, baby~.”

Zuko traced the top of his cup with a strangely knowing look.

“My mom used to tell me to be careful about who I love. Something about how ‘people could just be after something that isn’t love.’ I never understood what the hell she meant at the time.” His brow furrowed a little before he continued, “so, I asked my cousin. He was totally the wise big brother type of guy…”

Ren felt his lower half get hot at the idea of Zuko and Lu Ten in the same room. If Zuko looked up to him, that certainly means they were close. That excited the older man.

“I was all like ‘ **_hey, Lu, mom’s always talkin’ crazy about fake love and how weirdos could be after something else. Well, what the heck could they be after?_ ** ’ I mean, I was like six, I had no idea about money, politics, sex, or drugs or anything. Lu-.... **my cousin** knew he couldn’t tell me any of that, so he explained it in a way I could understand.”

Ren nodded as he started to imagine a family picture with all those golden eyes.

“He said….” Zuko hung his head low before continuing, “he said that as royals, people don’t really see us as human. More like big pots of gold or some shit. So some people might not love me, they might just love the idea of a rich prince. And well-”

Zuko somberly giggled, taking a sip of wine.

“His big fancy speech haunted me for the rest of the day. The thought of nobody actually caring about me was just so...creepy. And like, I had a nightmare that night.”

Ren smirked at the boy, “really?”

“Yeah…” he giggled once more, “I forget what it was about, but all I know is that it was super bad. I ran to my cousin’s room like a bat out of the spirit world. I was probably crying like a little bitch, but he just laughed.”

Zuko looked a little flustered as he recalled the memory, “I punched him. He hugged me and told me he was sorry. Then I hopped up on his bed as he gave me another little speech.”

“ _ Yes, Lu Ten’s speeches are fucking amazing. So orgasmic~ _ .” Ren’s mind was driving him crazy.

“He said that not everyone is like that. Like a diamond in a river of shit, there will be someone who loves me for me. He told me that he’s already found someone who loves him like that. I forget her name, but...the girl didn’t even know he was a prince! But...she loved him anyway.” He sheepishly smiled, “I...I think you’re like that girl…”

Ren laughed.

“I mean, you came up to me that night not knowing who I was! But you still flirted with me…..”

Ren nodded.  _ That was true.  _ In reality, lady luck was just on his side. Ren never saw prince Lu Ten after he left that summer. Life continued just like normal. Ren kept on fantasizing about the boy. Amaya composed plenty of jazz for the restaurant while she thought about her sweet lover. Two short years passed with no major change. Then, one day, the petite girl came to Ren, shaking, and crying. She ran into his arms in a panic, embracing her head in Ren’s large chest. 

Ren couldn’t comprehend anything she was saying for hours. Amaya screamed at the top of her lungs. It wasn’t a pretty sight; mascara running down her cheeks. She tried to pull out her pitch-black hair. Amaya scratched her skin so hard it was starting to bleed. After maybe four hours and plenty of sake, she had finally calmed down. Ren wiped the blood off her cheek and asked what happened.

“Lu Ten...he…” she sobbed, screaming with all the energy she had left, “ **_MY LOVERBOY IS DEAD!!!_ ** ” 

She collapsed in Ren’s arms. She passed out shortly after, and Ren was thankful for that. Because he went into a bar that night and fought five men, two of whom left the bar with broken noses and busted balls. He left in a hip hop rage after getting kicked out. He got home, wrathfully jacking off with a snarl on his face. When he came, he punched the wall. His love, his  _ obsession _ was gone. Killed in a war.  _ Dead _ .

“ **R-Ren…?** ”

Ren snapped out of his blood boiling trance. Zuko looked up at him with such an innocent curiosity. He smiled, blushing.

“Do you…” he giggled, “ **do you love me?** ”

Ever since that tragic day, Ren had been looking for a replacement. He had a taste of lust for self-conscious youth, and now he couldn’t go without it. For just a little over five years, he had dedicated his free time to seducing teenagers. They had to have that look in their eyes; that look of doubt. None of them had that same yellow tint. That was a trait only common amongst Japanese nobles. But that look of doubt was good enough. None of them ever surpassed Lu Ten’s greatness, but they were all amazing to fuck. They were easy to lie to. So vulnerable that they would do anything Ren said. But it wasn’t enough. Zuko, however, was different.

He was a little demon of lust among the others. The perfect image of desire. Surely the boy knew how he made others feel too. Ren didn’t know it at the time, but Zuko was even Lu Ten’s own flesh and blood. He had those same gothic gold eyes, full of even more insecurity. He had been burned, permanently damaged by his past. Any normal person with that kind of scar would consider themselves unattractive. It could even drive others away from them. But to Ren, it added character. Knowing someone who was just a prettier, smaller Lu Ten was abused aroused him. He was everything Ren could want from a tool of sexuality. He was better than all the past play toys.

“ _ Zuko...I-I can’t believe I found you….”  _ Ren wanted to drool, _ “I found someone who surpasses Lu Ten! You’re the perfect successor, you’re his flesh and blood! _ ” He bit his lip; he got a boner. The boy’s words ringed in his head; “ _ do I love you…? Yes! YES! I love your body...you’re my perfect toy~. _ ” Yes, that’s all Zuko and the others were. Tools. As long as Zuko could satisfy Ren and fulfill his role as his tool, Ren would love him. Zuko wasn’t a pot of gold; more like just a nice throat, face, chest, and ass to fuck.

Ren smiled, “ **Yes, I love you so much, cutie~** .”

Zuko giggled; his head was probably mushy with lovey-dovey thoughts. Ren looked at his eyes before something suddenly appeared in front of them. A glorious plate of appetizing shrimp with vermicelli and garlic sat in front of the teenager. Ah, the waitress had returned.

An equally luxurious-looking plate of sashimi was brought to Ren. The waitress put on a toothy grin.

“Enjoy your meals!”

“Thanks! I totally will!”

Ren nodded, “yes...I will too.”

Zuko moved around in his seat. It dawned on Ren that he had never seen him look so joyful. It was sort of cute.

“Um, Ren?”

“Yes…?”

“Well, I normally don’t do this anymore, but do you wanna wash up before we eat?”

Ren shrugged, “sure.”

Zuko nodded, getting up out of the opulent chair. He gestured for Ren to follow him... **_into the bathroom_ ** . Ren’s heart throbbed with fantasies. The beat was curious, but he welcomed it. Ren had almost forgotten how fancy the tiles looked. It was a very high-quality, pleasant bathroom. He would’ve never thought people regularly shat in there. The bathroom was empty; the lovers were the only breathing things in the room. Ren was about to walk to the sink, but the boy stopped him.

Zuko pulled the older man down. He was now bending over and they were face to face. For a second, Ren was frightened. He was almost superhumanly strong for such a petite teenager. But his fear went away as Zuko pulled Ren into a kiss. It was surprisingly confident, but Zuko seemed a little lost. He was a pretty good kisser, but he had nothing on Ren. Although it certainly was heart-warming. Ren took control from there. He picked Zuko up as his heart beat like a drum. He wrapped his legs around Ren, trying to get more from the older man. They craved each other, but for different reasons. Ren faced the wall, reminding himself even more of that faithful day. But it was different. Zuko was a better Lu Ten, he bent to the older man’s desires easier. Perhaps it was the heavier baggage Zuko carried around. Ren knew what a boy like him desired.

_ Attention _ .

He felt like it was a fair trade. Ren gave him attention, and Zuko gave him anything he wanted.

“ _ You’ve outdone yourself this time, Rens _ _ ōsa. You picked the perfect one _ .”

He kissed the boy’s neck. Zuko practically purred in response.

“Fuck...I like it when you do that. I love you.”

Ren almost felt bad. He sounded so genuine...Ren had him hooked for more. But that’s what made it great. Zuko was living art, and Ren owned him. Their relationship was for him to control. The older man snickered.

“ **_You’re a hot piece of ass._ ** ” He drooled, trying to give his boner some friction, “ **_No….you’re so much more than that._ ** ” He spoke with a husky voice.

Zuko gasped. He didn’t say anything for a little. Ren looked him in the eye; his lips were parted. Ren was about to kiss him, but then-

“ **C-can you tell me more…? Please?** ”

“So that’s what you want…”

Just like the many tools before him, he needed validation to live. It was like air. A cock inside him or a hand-job would never make him reach his climax. Praise would.  _ That was his orgasm _ .

Ren bit his neck. Zuko let out a little whimper. Damn, that was cute.

“ **_You’re the most powerful_ ** **, cutest** **_person I’ve ever met. You’re glorious, beautiful,_ ** **you’re just…** ” He was beyond excited; Ren was experiencing the greatest high the universe had to offer, “ **_just so fucking perfect_ ** .”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I say this every time but god Ren is fucking wzgrliuiedrghildgjhnigixjihjjuhGROSSSSSs. Anyways, yeah I hope you liked it. Also if anyone was wondering, there were some things not directly stated but I want to believe they were implied enough for you guys to catch on/use your imagination. Of course, Amaya never knew about Ren's "interest" in young men, but his infatuation with trying to replace Lu Ten gave him less time to talk to Amaya. So simply, their friendship weakened over time. Also Lu Ten was so humiliated and felt so degraded by that day in the bathroom that he never actually told anyone; he didn't want to break Amaya's heart. But yeah, the short story about the jacket is that Amaya held on to it, but out of lust Ren stole it. You can imagine the things he did with it. To make it seem more natural, he made a deal with the hot topic employee to put it in the mall so he could give it to Zuko on his date. But yeah, I took a little bit of a weird approach to this chapter, but after Zuko falling in love I wanted to show the contrast of how Ren views him. Just like the majority of sick fucks like that in the real world, he's nothing more than a tool to Ren. Anyways, any support would be greatly appreciated! I get so touched by all   
> the comments and how much this has grown. For a long time this fic just had like 4 kudos and one person (who I still appreciate greatly) commenting on each chapter. So like, thank you so much!


	12. Rag Doll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren wants to give Zuko the best experience of his life. But...something feels sinister in his affairs. Will Zuko catch on to his dark intentions?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey; this chapter is rather short, especially compared to chapter 11. But I'm actually pretty happy with it, so I hope it's okay. Although a BIG disclaimer:  
> this chapter is apart of the reason why this is rated explicit. It's like two-thirds smut. If you're not into that or can't stomach it, I don't blame you at all! I really want to convey smut scenes that can make people uncomfortable; because this whole story is meant to be disturbing. If you read the last smut chapter (chapter 5), this won't be very similar. It gets fucked up in more ways than one. There's also drug use.
> 
> Also unlike chapter 5, this one isn't as skippable. The emotions Zuko feels in this like genuinely fuck him up and set him down a darker path. So if you want a small summary, please look at the end of the notes! I hope these disclaimers help.

Damn. Zuko was almost impressed by the strange feeling of nostalgia he got from the movie. It was never really his type of movie; some 80’s American film about girls. But Beaches was different. Not necessarily about romance, but more about friendship. It was touching to see such a pure relationship; it almost brought him to tears. He looked up at Ren. 

His face looked good in the enchanted velvet room. Surrounded by crimson and silver, love ignited. The older man didn’t even have to look at Zuko to notice his stare.

“Did you like it?”

He smiled, leaning on Ren’s chest. “Yeah, you’ve got pretty good taste.” He bit his lip; “ _ he’s so considerate of me… _ ”

“Well, I was just born at the right time. The ’80s were a good time to be an adult.” He gave Zuko a smug smile, “it’s kinda a tradition of mine to watch this weird movie after I watch Beaches. Wanna see it?”

Zuko raised a brow. Ren continued.

“You don’t have to  **_watch_ ** watch it. Like, just chill out while it plays. It makes good background noise.”

“I would love to!”

“ **Good…** ”

Zuko couldn’t help but feel intimidated whenever Ren said that. _ “Good”...what was good? What did he mean? _ Zuko couldn’t tell. 

“I love you, baby~.”

Zuko brushed his hand against Ren’s chest; “I love you too.”

Ren grinned, turning on the onyx colored boom box. It reminded Zuko of the car ride a few days ago. Def Leppard played as Ren grabbed the remote. The teenager smiled; he felt so safe in his arms. When he closed his eyes, it was as if all his troubles burned up in sweet flames. He felt Ren’s lips on his. The movie was starting to play.

Zuko kept his eyes closed. Ren pinned him down, and he couldn’t help but grasp at the soft velvet sheets. He felt all hot. He panted as the smell of lavender got stronger. It made his mind numb.  _ Why did the room smell like that? Why was it so addicting? _ It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Ren was in his presence. It was their evening together, indulging in nothing but pure love. That was the type of love Zuko liked the most. In his eyes, the love he felt wasn’t driven by anything but genuine affection. It was nice. Even the taste of tobacco and whisky was amorous. 

Ren tugged and pulled at the boy’s hair. Then, he embraced Zuko in a long, messy kiss. It wasn’t rough; it was tender, yet wild. It was intoxicating. Zuko was starting to lose his breath. Ren pulled away. Both were left panting. The younger of the two whined. Zuko finally opened his eyes; Ren gave him an open smile. For some reason, that made Zuko’s heart race. He had never seen Ren look so unkempt. Sweat dripped down his brow, and his chest rose as he caught his breath. It made Zuko happy to see him look flawed for once. 

Ren got off of the teenager, sitting on the right side of the bed. He took his shirt off. He slouched in the bed, head resting in his hands. 

“I want you to see this part. Take a seat.”

Zuko did exactly what he was told. Resting his head on Ren’s chest, he watched. But he couldn’t stop thinking about his lover. He was just happy that out of all the men at that party, Ren was the one who pursued him. Ren said it himself, he was Zuko’s man. Gosh, that made his face all hot. He couldn’t recognize the song that was playing too well. But it fit the mood perfectly as Ren lit his cigarette. Zuko put on a playful smile.

_ Snatch!  _

The boy took it, closing his eyes as the smoke filled his lungs. It was a cheap high, but he didn’t mind. 

Ren snickered, “ya like that?”

“Maybe…” 

Ren took the cigarette back and began to feed the smoke to Zuko. He blew it in his mouth, and it should’ve been weird. It should’ve been awkward. But to Zuko, it made Ren seem like a gentleman. He kissed the teenager, and the rockstar on the radio was singing about sex. It suddenly occurred to Zuko how strange it was to be playing music while watching a movie. His mind was swept away with Ren’s smooth romantic gesture as he ran his fingers through his hair.  _ Yeah, he was totally smooth… _

“You’re the best.” Zuko mumbled. His mind was empty, that was the least he could say, but it worked well enough. Ren was happy at that remark, and that’s all that mattered.

He could’ve died in Ren’s arms. He felt all warm, and the smell of lavender and smoke was intoxicating. Ren whispered sweet nothings into his ear. It made a low rumble in his chest. That was comforting. 

Zuko was quiet for a few moments. He wasn’t really thinking; just embracing himself in mindless love. What could he say? Ren just took his breath away. He felt so relaxed that he could fall asleep and explore in a jungle of fever dreams. He closed his eyes once more. Ren kissed his neck. It was all perfect, and then-

A strange moan came from nowhere. It was...a woman’s. Startled, Zuko opened his eyes to look around for the source. It didn’t take long to find. The same flat screen tv that showed the beauties of a life long friendship now showed two people fucking in a hot tub. Zuko shook his head.  _ Sex scenes were so unnecessary sometimes... _ but it piqued his interest.

“W-what the fuck are they doing?”

“I think you know what~.” Ren gave the boy a suggestive smile. 

Zuko just tilted his head. “Obviously, but why are they doin’ it in the water?”

“Oh trust me, it happens all the time. Nothing too unusual.”

“Huh...”

Zuko watched as they continued. It seemed like it would be a little uncomfortable. “ _ But what do I know? I’m just a dumb dropout _ .” 

Ren, however, wasn’t. He was smart and experienced. Surely he would know about it.

“Have you done it in the water?”

Ren shrugged, “oh yeah, many times before.”

“So...how is it? It seems kinda awkward...”

“Eh, it’s alright. It’s kinda like jacking off in the bath.”

“Um...” Zuko furrowed his brow. 

“Hm?” A playful curiosity dominated his voice, “you’ve done that before, right?” 

The boy shook his head with a blank expression. 

“Okay, so what about in the shower?”

“No, I just don’t...do that. I can’t remember the last time I did.”

Ren laughed, “really? Why’s that? At your age most boys jack off, you know.”

“There was never any time to do that in a war, you just had to wait out your boner and go. Well, that’s what I did, at least.”

“Wow...” Ren got closer to Zuko’s ear, whispering in a sophisticated tone, “so, you’ve never climaxed before?”

“M-maybe I have...but I don’t remember.” A chill went down his spine. Ren’s presence was intense yet brilliant.

“Well...why don’t we change that?”

Zuko’s eyes widened, “wait...what do you mea-”

Just like that, Ren had him pinned. He felt powerless under the burly man. But those calculating eyes and plump lips made his face warm with ecstasy. 

“I want to see you cum. I’m ashamed I didn’t make you finish when we fucked.”

“Hey! It’s...it’s fine! I don’t need to-“

He kissed him. Ren had done it before, but this time was different. Once, twice, a third time... _ fuck _ . Any intentions of keeping things pure fried up at that instant. Zuko was starving for more once he had a taste of that kiss. The taste of tobacco that coated the older man’s lips suddenly became a drug. He had never felt anything like it. 

Ren gave him a smug smile, “how about you get dressed up all pretty for me?” He got off of the boy, taking off his boxers.

He nodded, getting up to search in Ren’s closest. Zuko remembered specifically shoving some thigh-high stockings in there. It would be awfully embarrassing to keep them at the apartment. He bit his lip.  _ Humiliating _ . Dressing like a woman was humiliating. But, if a pretty black T-shirt and striped stockings made Ren happy, he would wear them. In his mind, Ren deserved the whole world. 

The older man whistled when he walked out. Zuko pulled the shirt down since there weren’t any pants to hide his lower half.

“You look so fucking hot~.” 

Ren held Zuko in his arms before pulling him down to the velvet sheets. He laid there, head resting on his chest. Zuko felt safe but...unsure. The idea of reaching a climax was full of mystery. But surely Ren knew what he was doing. He pulled out two bottles; one of them most certainly being lube. 

“I need you to turn the other way, babe. Trust me, this is gonna feel real good~.”

“‘Kay...”

He flipped over to his other side. Ren was now spooning Zuko. He planted a kiss on a bruised part of Zuko’s neck.

“Good boy~.”

Ren paused before lifting the black T-shirt ever so slightly. 

_ Splat! _

Another shiver made its way down Zuko’s spine. Cold wetness covered his dick. It made his nipples hard. Damnit...what the hell was he doing? This was unwholesome. Yet, he couldn’t help but moan. 

Ren bit his neck as he stroked. It was naughty, but it felt so right. All that friction between his legs was a pay off to all the built-up sexual feelings throughout the past few months. Zuko wanted to simply enjoy the moment of bliss, but unavoidable insecurities loomed over his head. 

“S-sorry...” 

That was all he managed to mutter out before moaning like a little bitch. All the shame started to feel like a paradise. 

“Hm? What are you sorry for, baby?”

Zuko panted as Ren continued to touch his body. “I-I’m...sorry if it’s n-not very big...” he moaned again as Ren picked up the pace. The pressure on his cock felt incredible. It was like sparks were flying.

“You’re not too bad, actually. I’ve known full-grown men with smaller packages than you. You’ve got a nice body~”

The praise went straight to his heart. He whimpered in response to all the passion. 

Ren chuckled. “You like that, you little slut?”

Zuko tried to keep his dignity, not responding at first. He just laid there, silently enjoying his treat. That’s what it was, right? A treat that Ren so generously gave him. But his silence wasn’t enough for the older man. He yanked Zuko’s messy hair, drawing a gasp from the boy.

“ **Answer me, whore.** ” 

“Y-yes, sir!”

Ren laughed once more, “good boy. Now, why didn’t you answer me the first time?”

Zuko was a mess at that point. Nothing but moans and deep breaths came out of his mouth for a few moments; then, he finally spoke up. 

“It’s just...s-so hum-” he whimpered as Ren stroked harder and harder, “humiliating!” his cock ached with delight.

“Aw, I bet you love all the shame. You cute little whore. Here, want a distraction?”

The teenager nodded, enjoying the praise. Suddenly, two fingers were pressed against his cheek. They smelled like that damned lavender….

“Come on, you know what to do. Be a good slut and suck on ‘em.”

Drool covered his lips as he licked the man’s large fingers. With lips firmly wrapped around them, he began sucking. Again, Ren stroked at a faster pace.

He had never endured anything like that. Pleasure and desire intertwined, becoming one and the same as Ren stroked. It felt like waves of desirable electricity were coursing through his body. That made him even more ashamed. The music wasn’t helping either. 

He sucked more and more desperately until the older man took his fingers out. They had probably lost circulation at that point. Everything was silent for a few seconds. Then, Zuko heard him sniff something.

“What...are you doing-” 

The boy cried out as Ren’s grasp on his dick became painful. 

“ **_Do you know what poppers are?_ ** ”

“N-no!” He bit his lip, not knowing if he should find the pain enjoyable.

“Here, take a whiff. I think you’ll like them.”

He held a bottle up to his face. A strong, solvent smell filled his nose. It was much different than the lavender he was used to by that point. Zuko practically saw stars as a rush of euphoria went to his head. He giggled, taking in the glorious feeling of pure pleasure.  _ What was this? _ An orgasm or a beautiful high? The lack of any cum meant it had to be the latter. He couldn’t see the difference between right or left anymore. Everything was irrational, but it all made sense. That made him all hot, and his libido was on fire at that point. 

“Want me to finish what I started?” 

Zuko shivered when he heard that deep voice. It sounded far away, but he knew that husky tone was right by his ear. He knew that he just had to climax. He knew he had to experience such a wonderful sin. 

“Y-yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah!! Give it to me!”

“Okay, but you have to finish what you started too~.”

The boy was left in a state of confusion until he felt Ren’s rock hard cock brush against his ass. 

“If you know what’s best, you’ll get on your knees right now~.”

He felt utterly degraded; ass up in the air as he moaned into a pillow. But damn, it all just felt so good. Ren didn’t even have to prep him up. He lubed his cock up before mumbling an explanation about how the drug- _the poppers_ would make it feel painless. And painless it was. There was nothing but pure euphoria as Ren fucked him. He drooled into the pillow as Ren kept at a slow pace. He hit a perfect spot over and over again with that fat cock. What was it called? _The g spot?_ ** _The p spot?_** It didn’t matter. He hit that spot repeatedly and he hit it _hard_. His slow pace left the teenager begging for more. It felt so good, and he felt the rush of erotic pleasure build up in his body. He panted over and over again as Ren called him a cock-hungry whore. The older man was so nonchalant about it all. Ren just jacked him off, fucking him like it was no big deal. But it was. How could such a beautiful high not be?

“Please!” He whimpered, trying to encourage as much friction as possible. He needed that cock. “J-just fuck me harder!”

_ Smack! _

Ren spanked him. He had done it before, but this time was different. It left a familiar mark, one filled with a dark nostalgia.  _ Too much nostalgia. _ **_Oh no_ ** **.**

Zuko’s heart started to race as a new song starts up on the radio. The guitar intro was playful, as flamboyant as a rockstar, but it had a slight blues twist.

_ Smack! _

His body was aching with bliss, but at what cost?

_ Smack! _

A flood of memories came back to him.  **This was awful, he wanted to stop** . 

“ **_You like that, you fucking slut?_ ** ”

All Zuko could do was moan as Ren picked up his pace once more. Each thrust was a new trip of love. But he felt even worse.  _ He hated it _ . Ren gave him another hit of the poppers, practically knowing just how bad the boy felt. He moaned again. His brain felt like mush, higher than a rosy spaceship. But he felt awful and couldn’t even control his body. The radio’s guitar got more intense. Wait. Something came to him.  _ He recognized this song... _

Yes, even in this confused high, he recognized the song playing on the radio. If the intro didn’t give it away, Steven Tyler’s first words in the song did.

Of course, it was  _ Rag Doll _ . It was one of his friend’s favorite songs, but in an intoxicating trance, Zuko couldn’t remember which friend loved it so much. He had almost forgotten the lyrics to Aerosmith’s 1988 hit; but once he remembered them, he knew what was coming. 

“ **♫** **Hot tramp,** **_daddy’s little cutie_ ** **,** **♫** ”

_ Smack! _

Zuko started to tear up. He actually cried. He wept. Memories of that damned man plagued his head.  _ No.  _ **_No no no no no_ ** . He couldn’t think about him. Especially when Zuko was doing something so dirty. 

“ _ Stop! I don’t want to do this anymore! Just fucking stop! _ ” That’s what Zuko was thinking, but it was impossible to vocalize those thoughts as Ren put the poppers up to his nose once more. 

It was no use. He couldn’t fight it, especially not now. The drugs, the sex, all of that pleasure was too good to ignore. He knew what was coming. All the lust that was building up in him would release at any moment. It started to  _ burn _ . It was almost painful as the arousal built up until he couldn’t take it anymore. All he could do was sob in between uncontrollable moans. 

“ **Yeah...that’s a good little slut. You feel fucking perfect right now. You’re amazing, baby~.** ”

_ That praise…. _

A funny feeling came over Zuko. Strange ripples of desire. The ripples were fabulous. His body teased him with waves of joy. An insane amount of satisfaction flowed through his body. It started with a trickle, before drowning Zuko in a sea of unwanted lust. His orgasm was a filthy promise. One that would carry him out to an ocean of bliss forever.

His body jolted with a sick combination of pain and pleasure as cum made its way to the velvet bedsheets. The pillow was covered in drool and tears as the teenager moaned into it even louder. 

Seeing this made Ren cum too. Zuko could only imagine how his climax felt. Perhaps it was fiery, burning his body from the inside as his thoughts of the younger boy roasted his brain into nothingness. 

Zuko shook as his eyes widened. At that moment, it was clear that Ren hadn’t used a condom. It was a quick feeling, but it was there. Ren’s large load of hot cum filled the boy as he buried his dick as far in him as possible. 

Zuko didn’t understand. His body and mind were so happy, stuck in wonderland as Zuko felt the cum linger in him. But he was anything  **but** happy. He felt awful; sad, tortured, frustrated.  _ What the hell was this? _ ! It was the definition of anguish. He didn’t have any energy left to express his discomfort. 

Ren loomed over him for a few moments before scooping the boy up in his arms. He laid him on the bed, holding him in his arms. Tears rolled down his cheeks before Ren kissed him as they cuddled.

**“I love you.”**

_ “This is all your fault. You’re so filthy that you can’t even say it back. You’re disgusting. You used Ren up, and now you’re just gonna bitch and moan. You’re worthless.” _ Zuko thought to himself. He didn’t have the will to replace those words with happy ones. All he could do was fade into sleep as the aftereffect of such a hot time lingered through his body.

Yes, with no desire to fight his tiredness, he simply closed his eyes and waited for the sweet release of a dream. The world around him started to fade out, and the song was coming to an end.

**“** **♫** **_Hot times, get it while it’s easy_ ** **♫** **”**

**“** **♫** **I don’t mind, come on up and see me** **♫** **”**

**“** **♫** **Rag doll, baby won’t you do me like you done before?** **♫** **”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo if you skipped the chapter (and it's fine if you did) then lemme give you a little summary before I ramble in these notes like I always do:  
> Zuko had never actually came before, so Ren was determined to make that happen. Through a lot of...unwholesome acts and with the use of poppers (a street drug often used for sex and good highs) he climaxed. But Zuko wasn't comfortable at all. He wanted to stop because he was getting bad memories but due to the drugs, he couldn't talk back. The most Zuko had done before that point was smoked and had some drinks; his body didn't tolerate the drugs that well. So basically he was having a panic attack while he came and he couldn't do anything about it. Pretty shitty if you ask me. So afterward he's exhausted and just wants to get away from what just happened, so he drifts into sleep. 
> 
> Now here are just some notes.  
> Now as the story has developed, you probably noticed that I've mushed my real life experiences with fiction a lot. So some of the stuff that has happened obviously never happened to me. Although my abuser did actually have a relationship with my cousin, he was never obsessed with her. He just saw me sleeping one day and decided he wanted to use me. There was never any stakeout at a mall and all of that. I actually went through most of my journey alone, which is why it lasted so long. Zuko is technically alone in this too, but nobody was ready to help me till the very end. Anyways, while some of this is just my imagination trying to create a fucked up sex scene, a lot of this was actually based off of one time I had sex with my abuser. So in a way, this chapter was really cleansing to write (despite how fucked up it really is). This is apart of the reason I wrote this; because I get to let everything off my chest in a way that actually makes sense to me. Oh, and if you were wondering, apart of my own personal story that isn't even included in this fucked up relationship is that he actually lived with me. He was our family's roommate and my parents trusted him. I don't know why I'm sharing all of this, maybe it's to show how bad sugar daddy relationships can really be. But yeah, anyways, I hope you all have a good day! Thank you all so much for the support it makes me hella happy to see so many cute little comments and new kudos! Also as a quick sidenote, I might make a really dumb crackfic that's like so contrasting to this just because it makes me laugh iojgfsoifj. Anyways, u can bookmark this and stuff if u want, I would greatly appreciate that!


	13. Escapism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko tries to find a way to deal with the events from last night, but he doesn't wake up in a very ideal situation...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I just moved to an actual house, so things have been pretty busy. But just as a little refresher, you might wanna go back and reread chapter eight and chapter twelve (or just chapter twelve's summary). Also just a little fun fact, near the beginning there's also a small reference to chapter two. But like ngl I kinda hate chapter two but hosfhoishgiohngihsioh yeah. Also like Grammarly didn't really like this chapter, so I hope it doesn't suck :(. But to be fair it didn't like my last chapter, and you guys seemed to really like it. And I just wanna say thank you all so much for the support! I know I don't reply to every comment, but trust me, I appreciate the HELL out of every comment, and I get all gushy for like an hour after you guys comment haha. 
> 
> SOME QUICK DISCLAIMERS:  
> -Like the last chapter, this one deals with some pretty fucked up sexual themes, although they aren't explored in detail. M///station is mentioned so if you're sensitive to that, I completely understand but please be warned!   
> -Also there's a tiny mention of blood, although it isn't s//f-h//m (but trust me, Zuko's getting closer and closer to actually doing that).

Darkness. Yes, that’s what dominated Zuko’s mind. It was a sudden feeling at first. A slow realization that the bright yet eerie atmosphere was off.  _ Something wasn’t quite right _ . And that was when things started to fade. His heart sank as the world around him got darker, darker, and evermore darker. That’s when he came to a dim awakening. Ah, of course; it had only been a dream.

He wanted to shed the sleepiness from his mind as soon as possible. He felt so lightheaded, almost sick. Zuko couldn’t remember anything at first. But all he had to do was allow the dreams from the night to vanish as they soaked in the day’s presence. But that’s when the memories flooded back to him...

**_“Do you know what poppers are?”_ **

...He found himself wanting to go back to sleep. The thought of last night made his skin crawl. It made him want to curl up and die. But the warmth of the bed comforted him, reassuring Zuko that everything would be okay. That brought a drowsy smile to his face. He turned over on his side, feeling his bare legs touch under the covers.  **Wait.** Zuko grasped at the sheets.  _ The velvet sheets.  _ **_Oh no…_ **

He opened his eyes, jumping out of the bed. 

“ _ This can’t be right...what time is it? How long was I asleep?! _ ”

He had woken up in Ren’s room. His heart was racing with panicked thoughts; “ _ How did this happen? Is it still nighttime? Is there still time to hurry home? _ ” He looked around the room for an answer. It was dim, litten by nothing more than a countryside candle. That’s what Zuko thought, at least. But no, there were small slivers of sunlight that bloomed wherever the curtains couldn’t reach. That made his stomach twirl into knots. Like a little gremlin eating his heart out, uneasiness took over Zuko’s body with a passion. Yes, it was morning. He had slept through the night without returning home. Zuko looked at his feet in pure and utter shame. That’s when he discovered something else.

He was naked. Not a single piece of clothing covered his body. Why? Was he naked last night-

No. He wasn’t. Zuko recalled the embarrassment of being fucked in thigh-highs. He remembered that pain with a certain numbness. He didn’t want to think about what happened. But it was practically unavoidable. 

“ _ It’s your fault- _ ”

Zuko shook the thought away before he could finish it. Sitting around fully nude was getting uncomfortable. Zuko had to put something on before it got chilly. He spotted some basketball shorts laying on the floor. They must’ve been from last night. They would do.

But the question still lingered around in his mind.  _ Why was he undressed in the first place? _

“ _ Ren would know. He’s smart _ .” Zuko winced; “ _ Ren _ …” He felt himself hesitate for a moment. His heart ached when he thought about last night. 

“ _ It isn’t Ren’s fault though. He would tell you that you’re overreacting.  _ **_Just get over it_ ** _. _ ” Yes, that’s what he convinced himself to think. It was true, wasn’t it? There was no way Ren knew what he did would affect him like that. So Zuko listened to his inner self; he ignored it. Tried to  _ get over it _ . 

And with frantic feet, he rushed out of the bedroom. He dashed into the luxurious, yet humble living room with a confused face. Ren was just watching the morning news as if nothing was wrong. He didn’t have a care in the world as he sipped his black coffee. But something was wrong, most certainly wrong. Zuko should’ve been at the apartment.

“R-Ren…?”

He glanced over at the boy. “Ah, there you are.”

“What happened? Why am I here?!”

Ren gave him a crooked smile; “sit down and I’ll tell you.”

_ Damnit _ . In all honesty, Zuko didn’t have time for all of that. He just needed an explanation so he could leave. So he could get back to Uncle Iroh. But he was dealing with Ren. If he wanted something, Zuko would give it to him without any hesitation. So he sat down next to his lover.

“After we fucked, you fell asleep like a baby. Do you remember anything after that?”

“ _ I wanna fucking forget all of it _ .” …. “ **N-no, sorry. I just remember falling asleep.** ”

“Well, that’s to be expected. You were in and out of sleep for most of the night, but you didn’t do anything too crazy. So you shouldn’t worry about it too much, little cutie.”

_ Little cutie _ ...why would he say that-

No. “ _ Just get over it _ .” That’s all he had to do. Besides, there were bigger questions on his mind.

“If nothing crazy happened…then why the fuck did I wake up naked?”

Ren let out a bone-chilling laugh. He put down his coffee cup. The next thing Zuko knew was that his face was pressed against the older man’s chest. 

“Don’t worry about that, babe. You were just so peaceful in your sleep…”

Zuko’s eyes widened. He didn’t like where this was going. He heard a small noise.  _ Thump! Thump! Thump! _ **_That was his heart_ ** _. _ Ren’s words had grasped it.

“W-what did you do…?”

Fuck. Zuko didn’t want to know. He wanted to be oblivious to it. But the shaky words came out of his mouth so fast that he couldn’t control them.

“ **Oh, I just played with your body a little. You must’ve been tired. You weren’t waking up at all!** ”

_ He let out that damned laugh again... _

His words yanked Zuko’s heart out of his chest. He wanted to move. He wanted to pull away from the older man out of shock. But he was paralyzed on the spot. Ren’s menacing aura heald his body in a tightening grip. He felt helpless. 

Zuko had been dishonored. He had already been dirtied up by naughty experiences, but this was different. He felt completely used; washed up and wasted. There was a nasty sensation all over his back.  _ What did he do to deserve this? _

“ **You just looked so cute~.** ”

_ Was that seriously the answer? _

_ Thump! Thump! Thump! _ That was an awful sound. But what Zuko was feeling wasn’t any better. Anything was better than being violated like that. He wondered if it was his fault. “ _ Why would Ren do something so fucked up? He’s amazing, there’s no way he would do that shit for no reason. I just...I just wasn’t good enough for him. I... _ **_I deserve this_ ** _. There’s no other explanation. _ ”

Ren put a hand on his shoulder. It was warm. Zuko flinched, squirming under his touch. He wanted to disappear. He looked at Ren, head full of confusion and...rage.

“ **_Why?! Why did you do that!? Why did you do something so...so horrible? Just tell me! Make me understand! I want to be good enough for you!!_ ** ” His mind was torturing him, screaming at Ren in his head as though he could hear him. He wanted him to. He wanted to tell Ren all about how he felt. But Ren’s surprised face kept him quiet. There was a hint of anger in his eyes. Zuko didn’t even have the strength to look him in the eye anymore.

“Just...hand me a smoke, okay?” Zuko desperately needed one.

“Don’t feel bad about it. It’s normal.”

Zuko clutched his fists. They were shaking.  _ Was this a way to punish a partner when they were bad?  _ It reminded him of another punishment he received a few years ago-

He snatched the cigarette in a flash. His mind was a storm. A rampaging typhoon. He lit it up, taking puff after puff. He just needed to breathe. He just needed some “fresh” air. He needed to feel a buzz. The tobacco felt like an oasis to his brain. It numbed the pain. Like entering the eye of a storm, he was calm. For the moment, at least.

“What time is it…?” Zuko asked, relieved to finally be calm enough to blurt out his question.

“9:16.”

“Holy shit-” He shook his head in disbelief. It was about 7 PM when he had finished Beaches last night.  _ How long was he asleep? Fourteen hours? Thirteen?  _ “Uncle must be worried sick-”

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll be fine for a little longer. Why don’t we have some fun?”

And so, just as he had many times before, Ren pulled the boy into a kiss, lips tasting like August. He pinned him down. Put his hands over Zuko’s slim waist. He kissed with a filthy desire that a virgin could never understand. But Zuko didn’t kiss back. He didn’t wrap his arms around the older man’s neck. It didn’t feel right. The mass of guilt on Zuko’s back separated the two by galaxies. He felt foreign in Ren’s strange garden of desire. He wanted to go back home. 

Ren pulled away, panting and smiling. “Oh come on, boy, don’t you wanna have a good time with me?”

Zuko looked away. “I-I’m sorry...I just kinda feel like shit today. I...I should get going. I’m sorry I-”

“ **Fine.** ” He got off of the boy with an unhappy expression. The smell of lavender abruptly became intimidating. Ren felt like a cold monster at that moment.

“ _ Spirits, this is all your fucking fault. You made him angry. You’re awful _ .”

Zuko walked to the bedroom with his head down. As he was putting on his clothes, he felt shivers. Shivers all over his back. All over his neck. All over his skin. It was like a million little spiders were crawling all over his body without mercy. And the creatures carried mountains and mountains of regret. It felt awful. Just like the night before. Zuko felt like he was being choked in a sea of sadness. But perhaps the guilt-infested spiders not only crawled over his body but in his brain as well. And in his brain, he randomly felt as though he were forgetting something.

“ _ It doesn’t matter. Just get back home before you make Ren even angrier _ .”

So with a heavy heart, he walked to the door, put on his shoes, and hesitantly kissed his lover goodbye as a way to apologize. There was no way to go back in time. He just had to deal with the violation. He had to deal with his punishment for not being good enough. 

The walk home was lonely. The birds chirping did little to keep him company. His mind lingered with empty thoughts.  _ Damn _ . He was hungry. And with that feeling of hunger came that same forgetfulness. _ Was it an important day? _ Zuko hated having a fuzzy memory.  _ Why was his brain itching him to remember something? Why did the day feel so special- _

**_Scuuurt!_ **

Zuko winced in pain. He got so distracted that he tripped over thin air. And now, thanks to his ripped jeans, he had a scratch on his leg. It wasn’t a typical-looking scrape. It was long, but there was only one scratch. The skin around it began to swell as a deep crimson made its way down his knee. That was a shame. But at least it got Zuko on the right track. The right track to feeling something different after that night. The right track to not feeling so numbed and dirty. So what if he just felt physical pain instead? So what if he was hungry and couldn’t remember what made the day so special? At least it wasn’t that empty, soul-crushing sadness that swelled inside his chest earlier. He probably deserved the pain and violation anyways. He pissed Ren off. His pain was Zuko’s apology. 

Suddenly, he sneezed. “ _ How long have I been on the ground? _ ” It was certainly more than a few minutes. The blood was starting to make the rest of his knee wet. It smelled like iron... _ and lavender _ . 

That damned lavender...he couldn’t catch a break from it. The scent tormented his mind. It was like he was still at that house. Still stuck in a horrifying high with no way out. But that didn’t matter anymore.  _ The apartments were in sight _ . He was almost safe. But that safety would come at a price…

Iroh’s worried face. He had probably fretted him half to death. Sure, he went out a lot, but Zuko always told his uncle about a sleepover. They both knew if the teenager didn’t come back till morning without a warning that he was up to no good. The last time he didn’t come “home” was when he was out robbing people. When he was out giving himself away like a filthy pervert. He couldn’t let anybody know about his disgusting secrets that were hiding in a night of sin. So as much as he was ashamed…. _ he had to lie _ . He had to cover up his filthy actions. He couldn’t hurt his uncle like that. He couldn’t hurt Ren either. So, when he walked through the door, he raced to the shower. Just like that one evening.

He should’ve been mad at himself. He was going through with yet another lie. But a pretty lie was so much better than an ugly, deviating truth. He was lying out of love. Love for his uncle. Love for Ren. Yes, he loved both greatly, although in very different ways.

The water made him shiver. He hated the cold. But hot water would just drag his mind deeper and deeper into dark memories. The chilly water stung his knee. “ _ You deserve this. You’re a  _ **_liar_ ** _. You’re  _ **_filthy_ ** _. _ ” Zuko was hopeless. He sniffled.

_ Lavender… _

He sobbed. Zuko put his back against the shower wall, fell, and cried. He was trapped. He couldn’t make a good decision without some twisted consequence lurking around the corner. He didn’t want to cum last night, but he didn’t want to disappoint Ren. After being touched in his sleep, he wanted to leave, but he didn’t want to make Ren mad. And he didn’t want to hurt either Iroh or Ren, but he didn’t want to lie. 

“ _ But we all have to make sacrifices, don’t we? Stop being selfish. _ ”

He still felt awful. Dirty. So, Zuko lathered himself in every kind of soap in the shower. The bubbles were comforting. It was as if they had picked up his regrets crawling all over him. The water, although cold, washed the pain away. Yes, and just like that, the naughty bubbles were rinsed away with the purest liquid of all. Zuko smiled as it all trickled down the drain. Yet…

**_It was no use_ ** . No amount of soap or water could wash the dirt off of him. There were still guilty grimes of sin that lurked in his mind. “ _ You can’t clean a brain. _ ” He closed his eyes and even smiled. Perhaps it was a smile full of late summertime sadness. “ _ But you can always clean a body. _ ” And that was good enough. 

He smelled his wrist. It smelled like candy and saturated roses. Hey, that would do.  _ Anything _ besides that awful lavender would do.

And just as he had been for the past week, he wore another monochrome turtleneck to hide the bruises. He looked at the mirror and gave himself a pitiful smile. He walked out of the bathroom, fairly satisfied. All of his secrets, all of his wrongdoings were covered in a pretty, silky lie. Then…

_ Ding! _

The flip-phone on his futon vibrated. Huh. Zuko’s stomach got all queasy. What if it was Ren? Was he still angry? That would be terrifying. Anxiety crept up on the boy, luring him to darkness, taunting him with scattered thoughts of the older man. However, he couldn’t leave Ren without replying. So with shaky hands, he opened the small device.

…….

A sigh of relief swept Zuko off his feet. 

“ yo, man. you didn’t answer your calls so i got kinda worried. but you’re zuko, so i’m sure you’re fine haha. anyway, it’s crazy hard to type on this hunk of junk, so i’ll get to the point. we haven’t gotten one-on-one time in like, forever; so why don’t we meet up? call me, buddy. ”

_ It was just Sokka.  _ Zuko rolled his eyes, “ _ why the hell would he type all that shit grammatically correct if it was such a pain in the ass? I thought  _ **_I_ ** _ was the dumb one… _ ” Yet, he couldn’t help but smile. Sokka’s antics were enough to make anyone grin. He dialed the boy’s number. For a second, he forgot about everything that happened over the past few hours.

Sokka was ecstatic when he picked up. He gasped, giggling like a schoolgirl. “Oh wow! You actually called!!!”

“Yup, I don’t have anything else to do. I saw your text and shit.”

“So…” Zuko could practically see Sokka’s dopey grin from the other side of the phone as he spoke, “do you think I should get the Shrek crocs or this cool human-cat hybrid skeleton I found at the pawnshop?”

“What the fuck-” Zuko scoffed, “you know...I’m genuinely curious, but I’m not gonna answer that...”

“Aw, whatever, killjoy. Anyway, it’s totally been forever since we’ve hung out, right? I mean, like, just the two of us.”

“I guess so.”

“Exactly! So why don’t we meet up? Where do you wanna go?”

Zuko snickered, “wow, this is...pretty kind. Um...anywhere is fine.”

“Neato! Soooooo, what about Speedway? Or would the woods be better?”

“Actually, the bench in the woods sounds like a pretty nice spot. That’ll work.”

Sokka chuckled, “yes! This is gonna be awesome! This is going to be the best buddy-day you’ve ever had!”

Zuko laughed, “buddy-day?  _ Wait- _ ” It all made sense now. “W-what day is it?”

“September fifth…why?”

“ **Shit!** ” Zuko cursed, finally remembering all that he had forgotten, “I’m super sorry, Sokka, but can we do this tomorrow? I have some shit I need to do today.”

“That’s fine.” The poor boy was probably disappointed, but there was no malice in his voice, “do you need to talk about any of it?”

Zuko smiled, appreciating the offer. “It’s no big deal, don’t worry. Oh! And tell Katara I said hi! Tell the others if they’re there too.”

“Will do!”

“Alright, see you later, dork.” He smiled.

“Bye, asshole!”

Click!

**Fuck.** **_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_**. Of course out of all the days to not come back home, it had to be that day.

“ _ It’s Uncle, he’ll understand… _ ” Yeah, Iroh always understood. It was still shameful though. Zuko went off the radar at the worst time.

He sighed, adjusting his turtleneck ever so slightly. “ _ What am I gonna say? ‘Sorry for being so late, I was busy getting fucked in the ass’?  _ **_Obviously not._ ** ” Damnit. If only the truth was easier. If only it was prettier. “ _ I’m so fucking gross… _ ”

He picked up what he needed. Then, that’s when his situation dawned on him once more. _Ren, Iroh, last night...all that had happened. All on that day...how awful._ ** _Unwholesome._** ** _Disgusting_**. He took a deep breath. 

“ _ Deep breaths. Deep breaths. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay...just get over it. _ ”

_ Get over it… _

With cold feet, Zuko walked into the living room. He was greeted by the smell of fresh tea, confirming that his uncle was indeed home. But that was to be expected. Zuko made sure to be as quiet as possible. He didn’t really know how he was supposed to go about this...but he figured barging into the room was a bad idea-

_ He stopped in his tracks _ .

Ah, Iroh was humming. It was a mellow tune; one filled with sadness and regret. That was understandable, even though it was heartbreaking. Then, he just sighed. That sigh could pull at anyone’s heartstrings. He sounded so concerned, and his voice almost echoed through the empty room. Not even the birds chirped. 

“ **U-uncle....?** ”

The old man gasped. When their eyes met, relief practically brought Iroh back to life. He gave a sweet smile. 

“There you are! My goodness, I was so worried...I knew I heard some ruckus in the bathroom...”

“I’m so sorry for scaring you!” He ran over to his uncle, embracing him in a hug. 

“Now, I’m aware it isn’t any of my business, but where were you? You were gone for quite some time...”

_ Shit _ . He hadn’t thought of a coverup story. Zuko had to think. Maybe something involving a power outage, or a sudden accident...oh! Ty Lee and Mai were the perfect people to say he was hanging out with. Or maybe Toph would be better... _ no, definitely Mai and Ty Lee _ . 

“I was at Mai’s place, and Ty Lee wanted me to spend the night. But the power went out for the rest of the night, so I couldn’t tell you.”  _ It hurt to lie _ .  **“I-I’m sorry...”** he wasn’t apologizing for the power outage. 

Iroh looked at Zuko, inspecting his eyes. Fuck... _ did he not buy it? He had to! _ Zuko couldn’t tell him the truth, no way. He had to protect his uncle with lies, even if it was deplorable. Even if it ached. 

“Are you okay, Prince Zuko?”

“ **I’m fine** .” Perhaps that was the biggest lie of all. But he couldn’t soak in his actions, he had to distract his uncle from his concern. Perhaps he was running away from his scandals?

“I...I remember what day it is. Trust me, I feel awful for not being with you for the whole day. But here, I hope this makes up for it...”

Finally, after waiting for the perfect time for what seemed like an eternity, he lent Iroh the box. “ **For Uncle”** was written on it boldly because, in all reality, nobody else deserved to have it. It was downright horrifying to think anyone else besides Uncle Iroh had it after-

_ He opened the box. _ Out came that unforgettable black jacket, decorated in edgy pins. Of course, Iroh wasn’t going to wear it. Zuko never even dared to put it on. It didn’t feel right to put the jacket on, but that didn’t matter. It was finally reunited with its rightful beneficiary. 

“I found it at the mall near here...I don’t know how the hell it got there, but I knew I had to get it back. I....”

Boy, there was so much Zuko wanted to say. He wanted to describe how bad he felt whenever he saw that mournful look on Iroh’s face. One that he could barely begin to comprehend. No matter how kind he was, no matter how much Iroh tried to cope, guilt and sadness would always loom over his life. The least Zuko could do was try to help. He could try and give his uncle closure about his son’s death. So that’s what he did. The jacket was a gift made from love, that was being given back to the giver. Zuko wanted it to be a gift of love too. He wanted to tell him all of that, but...he couldn’t find the words. It seemed impossible. 

**“I...hope you like it.”** That’s all he could manage to say. But that was enough for Iroh.

“I see you are having a hard time putting your thoughts into words. I don’t blame you, I’m...at a lost for words myself, in a way.”

Zuko couldn’t understand how he was at a loss for words too; Iroh didn’t look surprised at all. That was strange, but focusing on that would be pointless. The real attention-grabber was how happy the old man was. His lips curled into a grateful smile. It was as if an avalanche of uncertainty and grief had been lifted off of him. But of course, rubble would be left behind. There would always be fragments of grief weighing him down. But his doubt was put to rest, right? If it was...

_ Why was there still a look of apprehension in Iroh’s eye? _ He was so contempt with his gift... _ what could be wrong? _

“ **You look different than the last time I saw you, Prince Zuko. I’m worried about you.** ” 

_ What...? How did he look different? That couldn’t be right _ . His heart froze before speeding up. Zuko was being swept away by a hurricane of fear. He covered up all of his bruises. There was no way he could see anything different. No. _ There was no way! _

The sound of his beating heart ran through his ears. Sweat dripped down his brow. Yet, he tried to keep his composure. His poker face wasn’t the best, but he could manage.

“How so?”  _ Yes, that’s what he needed to know.  _ **_Where was the hole in his dirty lie?_ ** This was a nightmare-

“ **Your eyes look so much sadder. Why is that?** ”

“ _ Because I’m naughty. Filthy. I let a full-grown man cum in my ass, dirty me up, and I didn’t even appreciate it. On the anniversary of my cousin’s death, I got touched in my sleep like a disgraceful whore _ .” That’s what he wanted to say.  **Zuko wanted to scream those exact words** . Maybe then he would be rid of his nasty frustrations. But he couldn’t say any of that.

“I just....today has been a bad day with all these...memories.” 

_ Was that a lie? _ Technically, no. But it didn’t matter. He was indulging in his lie as Ozai would. _ Ozai… _

**_The night before…_ **

“ _ Come on, hold it together. _ ”

“I suppose you have always been a troubled young man...but please don’t let that get in the way of your life. Please know that when the time comes, you can always talk to me about anything. You know how...I...”

So many thoughts were racing through Zuko’s head, but he had to blurt something out while he still could. “ **You don’t have to say it!** ”   
  


“ **_I see you as my own._ ** ”

He had said it many times before. This time shouldn’t have been any different. But it was. 

_ “I want to tell you! I really do! But...I don’t want to hurt you. And I don’t want to hurt Ren. I just wanna make you two happy, but...it just doesn’t feel right. I don’t know what to do. What the fuck do I do? _ !” He was stuck. He needed help, but it was impossible to get-

Suddenly, his body acted on its own. He embraced his uncle in another hug, head resting on his shoulder.

_ Sniffle. _

Damn...he was being too soft.  _ He needed to get over it _ . But-

“ **Look, nephew, whatever you may be dealing with, take your time to heal.** ”

The sniffles turned into a light sob. 

“Time is the best medicine, but sometimes people are slow healers. And that is completely fine.”

His body shook at those words.  _ Completely fine... _ that made him feel all fuzzy. Zuko had forgotten the taste of validation. He had forgotten what it was like to be held and told that it was alright to feel sad.  _ But that was his fault, wasn’t it? _ Zuko didn’t think about it. Because at that moment, his mistakes and flaws didn’t matter. It was just a comforting time forged together by familial love. But thinking of it like that made the boy realize how far in between those moments had become. His heart wrenched at the thought.

“I’m...sorry I haven’t been around as much...”

“Oh that’s completely fine, I understand that you have your own life. I am just glad to see you having fun.”

“ _ I have bad fun too. You should be ashamed. You should hate me for it. But.. _ .” he smiled, “thank you...you’re probably off today, right?” 

“Yes, I am.”

“How about we spend the day together? There’s a good seafood place around here...”

Iroh considered the boy’s words, ”while that does sound appealing, I would much rather spend the day here. Of course, I would appreciate it if you joined me.”

After what seemed like an ironically wholesome eternity, the hug ended. Iroh instead hugged the jacket. 

“Would you mind sitting down and playing a game of Pai Sho with me?”

Zuko never found the game that entertaining. It was just a game old dirtbags played, but if it made his uncle happy, he would play all day. He owed quite a lot to the game in a way. It brought some of the most powerful and wise martial artists together to help end the war. So perhaps it was a respectable game after all. 

“I would love to.”

The smell of tea was strong as Iroh poured it into two modest cups. He carefully walked over to his new Pai Sho table. He was quite fond of it, despite how strange it looked in the ordinary living room. The old man urged his nephew to sit down with a smile. Zuko did so, sharing the same grin. The air felt so peaceful, but.. _.it wouldn’t be like that forever, would it? _

Yes, even at that moment, Zuko could feel a hair-raising force sneak up on him from behind.  _ But he was running _ . He was running away from the fear and pain that came from last night. 

Sure, it would be unwise to try to just get over it, but escaping it all together was different.  _ Wasn’t it? _

There was another tender moment as Iroh smiled, moving a Pai Sho piece. But Zuko felt the true coldness of the situation brush against his neck. The dread lurking just behind him, grasping at his heart.  _ It was so close _ ...but Zuko smiled. He wasn’t thinking as he grabbed a random piece, moving it in some position he didn’t put too much thought into. His mind was too busy running. He couldn’t let his fear grab him. That was his only option. As he looked at his uncle, his past words rang through his head.

“ **_...but sometimes people are slow healers. And that is completely fine._ ** ”

Yes, it was completely fine.  _ Escaping was just another form of healing, right? _ If he could run, he would be fine. He _ needed _ to run. Zuko didn’t know if his heart could handle all of his shitty memories piling on top of each other anymore.

Besides, Iroh’s happiness was more important than embracing his sins. _ Ren’s _ happiness was more important than Zuko’s struggle to heal from the night before. So, he could keep running from it all. But something worried him.

Iroh took a sip of his tea. 

Zuko just smiled. He was happy around his uncle, even if there was a darkness lurking around.  _ There was no need to worry _ . Yeah, it was a perfect plan.  _ He could run forever, _ **_even if he was destined to trip..._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn I hoped that made some sense. I also hoped it didn't seem rushed because it's been like almost a month and if it sounds rushed that would be a shame. Anyways, just a reminder that every piece of dialogue that is completely italicized means that they're thoughts, and so the characters aren't saying them out loud. I feel like I say this every damn time but yeah, shit is starting to get VERY dark. Although the next chapter isn't too bad, pretty much the three-five after them are really dark. But at this point, I feel like the people that are reading this aren't expecting a peaches and rainbows story, since it's been a little fucked up since day one. But I always want to put trigger warnings just in case because I know how uncomfortable these topics make people. But that's kind of apart of the story; the uneasiness of it all and just how much bullshit Zuko goes through this. Also fun fact I shit you not one day while writing this I woke up, in the middle of nowhere in my dad's car with my ex-sugar daddy (the guy Ren is based off of) knocking on the window trying to give me his number and I freaked the FUCK out. But I'm not going to talk about that situation cuz none of you need to hear that shit.
> 
> Oh, and one last thing! I did indeed make that crackfic! But jokes on all of you, I used a separate account because literally it was awful ojgroigjr. But uhhhh if you really want it, just search up cherryc0ck. I'm pretty sure you'll find it then. It was funny as hell to write but uhhh I don't know how fun it is to read goihigoijogio Anywayz, I'm gonna go work on my next chapter soooo that'll be lovely. Spoiler: zukka nation can finally come and get yalls juice (but I'll only give you a few drops hehehe).

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked the first chapter! There's plenty more to come so it would be awesome if you bookmarked this if you want more! Anyways, I hope you have a good night/day stranger!


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